Tummy Ache Survivor

is that a nothing in your pants or are you just normal to see me

snake pareidolia is one of the strongest things in human minds too! people report freezing mid-stride before being consciously aware of a snake in front of them, and the same happens with coiled rope, etc. in humans and other primates. it’s even been proposed that the need to detect snakes was a factor in the development of primates’ insanely good color eyesight

It’s because snakes are wonderful and we must stop and admire them at any cost

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

So cute, I love it!

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

they told me not to get lost in the weeds, but these are lush, beautiful, and ecologically necessary native plants so it's probably fine

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

one time in college i was in a creative writing class and this guy was holding up the critique with what i can only describe as like cinemasins dinging another student's writing. and at some point the professor said "the plot is the fork and the prose is the meal. you are critiquing the taste of the fork"

when i say cinemasins dinging i mean the piece of writing being critiqued was a scifi short story about a woman living on a space station holding a funeral for her baby. and this guy was like "the setting isn't detailed enough there's not enough world building"

I never really considered that a rabbit would care for a scarab one way or the other. Didn't think a rabbit could formulate an opinion on the scarab at all

The whole photo is gold but I especially like that the automated feeder is taped to the fucking floor.