the most dangerous gay

It looks like just pinpricks of lights flicking off and on. It's some of the hundreds to thousands of fireflies in my yard, after years of fostering their environment.

It's come a long way since I moved in. It used to be that I could stand in the yard during firefly season and count 30+ seconds before seeing a flash. It's still not at the level I remember seeing in local areas a couple decades ago, when fields would practically glow with how many fireflies lit the air above them. But it's not nothing. And maybe my yard doesn't make a huge difference on its own, but when you multiply it by hundreds, by thousands, by millions... it adds up.

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

Executive dysfunction comes from a lack of available dopamine. Common advice is wrong. You need to provide your own dopamine before you can start. Otherwise you're trying to run your car on empty.

"But what if I still don't do it" well you already weren't getting it done anyway. Now you have a little treat. Try again later.

You deserve kindness and care even when you aren't being productive.

I usually suggest this technique as a "Reverse Pomodoro." In the original Pomodoro, you work for 25 minutes and then take a break for 5 minutes (the times vary, but that's the essential ratio). People with executive dysfunction often find this insurmountable, and they get even more frustrated, and then the task seems even more difficult. So instead, flip those times.

FIRST, spend 25 minutes doing something energizing and engaging that you like to do. Not scrolling social media passively, not watching tv, not napping. Try something like colouring, doing yoga, running/walking around the block, talking about your favourite tv show with someone in real time, playing with the dog or cat, making and eating a lovely sandwich, hula hooping, something active. Having a little treat absolutely falls in this category!

(on the subject of little treats: refusing yourself food until you do work is for fucking Puritans and you can be kinder to yourself)

Then, after 25 minutes (or however long it takes to eat the sandwich or finish the yoga routine, it doesn't have to be exact), spend 5 minutes writing (or doing whatever you're struggling to start). Most people can coax themselves into doing something they find difficult for five minutes, if they have already filled up the joy/energy/engagement bucket. You can put a timer on for the 5 minutes if you want, or if you find that annoying, just work for as long as you like.

The other key is: don't push yourself to keep going when you're frustrated or tired—that will just reinforce the negative belief that you already have, which tells you that this task is painful to do, and needs to be avoided. If you've commonly had to force yourself to do this kind of task, that's likely part of why you think of it as painful and have trouble starting it now. Also, you should just, at a basic level, try not to put yourself in pain for the sake of productivity. So just do it till the good feelings run out. Then start hula hooping or colouring again for another 25 minutes. When the tank's refilled, try another 5 minutes of work, if you can. Adjust times to taste.

it means “i know the contents of this bag (a dead dove) may be upsetting, so i have labeled the outside very clearly with what is inside (a dead dove), and if you look inside, you should not be surprised to find a dead dove, because that’s what the label very explicitly says is inside the bag”

i realize this is a losing battle because enough people have made it mean the other thing as to make the tag totally useless, but seeing people argue over what it should mean gives me a headache because it literally could not be clearer

Cleopatra

please don't demonize toileting issues or associate them with being evil, stupid, gross as a person, etc. it harms your disabled friends. he might not deserve your respect, but they do.

I'm sharing this post and adding on for those who aren't familiar with the accounts that are doing this, but this is what is known as the"click here../read more..." scam! The link leads to a malicious website!