That's never gonna work, is it?

Deadlifted 405. 3 reps 8 sets.

I jacked off twice today.

I also jacked off twice today. You wanna FaceTime for round three?

not before I go do my deadlifts. I've got 406 lbs, 4 reps, 9 sets today.

I made a miscalculation.

I'd like to make myself believe

I’ve been laughing at this for too long not to share

Gollum’s lowkey adoreable tbh i would like to keep him as a pet❤️

IVE FOUND IT AT LAST

ph my fuckning gog

aaron paul has done more for the lgbts by playing jesse pinkman and doing his weird little photoshoots with bryan cranston than harry styles and taylor swift combined

i got anon hate for this post

A fully grown adult commented on that reddit post of "My cat got upset when my girlfriend spanked me" with "maybe you weirdos shouldn't be physically harming your partners" and I'm losing my shit adfklhsglk

The first time My cat saw me getting smacked around during sex, he did Not defend me, but instead jumped onto the bed and slapped me in the face so he could be on the winning team

Okay first of all how dare you make me laugh when I have pneumonia

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

Light yagami homophobic moments

#kind of a milf reblog

How the hell could I possibly explain this post to somebody not on tumblr