~Finn~

unless it’s itself enough

to get haters, so

A photo of anything else, seeing it at a smaller size, means missing some amount of detail, anything from a sense of depth to small components. Other cars all have small details which are usually related to issues like safety, aerodynamics, ergonomics, aesthetics and so forth. Many of these details are required to operate safely, which you might not even realize, including things like the curvature and shape of bumpers, visibility through mirrors, window design, and so forth.

The Cybertruck has none of these elements. The aesthetics, such as they are, revolve around specifically reducing and minimizing details, similar to the minimalist appearance in expensive houses. It does not include much in the way of safety design, or fuel efficient design (which still matters electric or not), or even ergonomics. Its lack of comfort to passengers is one of many notable faults. It is often described as resembling a child's drawing or bad render, and it's for the same reason. In both cases, the images lack fundamental elements which are even present in cars manufactured over a hundred years ago. Why does it look like that? Because it's a car shape minus every detail of a car that can be removed - full stop. Not just safely removed, but removed while still somewhat meeting the definition of being a car.

When you scale up something blocky but still a car, like a Jeep or something, you can see all the details. Even as square as a Jeep is, it has bumpers rounded and extended to reduce pedestrian injuries, crumple zones, flowing lines at specific points to reduce drag and aid fuel economy, clearly marked signal lights, doors built with human entry and exit in mind, windows that shatter safely but can't be peeled off the frame by hand, collision detection, fuel tanks that won't explode and so on. If you project a picture of a Cybertruck on the side of a building at actual size, it looks pretty much like a real life Cybertruck. A dumpster looks like a Cybertruck because it's the same zero detail shape. You think it looks big because your brain is going "wow there's that shape that has the detail of an image on my phone screen, wait why is it a thousand times bigger than the same image?"

When you scale up a Cybertruck it no substantive change in detail level, which makes it looks exactly the same, and that feels wrong. It looks like a toy at any size because a toy isn't supposed to work within and around living people, it just rolls along the ground and you try not to trip or choke on it. The bigger version of the small thing should come into sharper focus in person. A Cybertruck does not.

Ideas I've had so far:

A gold plated wine opener with her name engraved on it

some kind of classy-but-cunty Christmas decor. Something chi-chi and sparkly that's giving "oh, it's Christmas, bitch"

one of those instax mini cameras in a color like "blossom pink" because you know this diva scrapbooks

those little bone china Tiffany's cups that are made to look like cheap disposable paper cups but they're Tiffany blue and they say "Tiffany's" on them (because you know this diva is obsessed with Tiffany's)

a Swarovski birthstone bracelet because you know this diva actually gives a shit about her birthstone

It's going to have the gold plated wine opener with her name on it. It's going to have a scented candle. It's going to have a Lush bath bomb. It's going to have the pinkest loofah you can find. It's going to have a moisturizing face mask. It's going to have a little sign for her to hang on the bathroom door that says "Don't interrupt my ✨Diva Time✨" in glittery writing. It's going to have a sand-etched wine glass that says "Live, Laugh, Love, Drink Wine In The Bath". It's going to have some Lindt chocolate truffles. It's going to also have a sparkly christmas ornament and i trust you to pick one that fits the general theme here. If you still need to fill it in, you're going to add a gift card to Sephora or, if you would like bonding opportunities, a little envelope with a hand-written "gift card" for "[Spa day/mani-pedis/whatever] with your Favorite Sister-in-Law, you choose the day <3". Maybe also some cute scrapbook stickers.

Read more books. Read more reviews. Pay closer attention to the TV shows and movies you watch. In other words, take note of how each story progresses. Think more deeply about why you like a story or why you don't.

people always say that internet spaces are americanised because the users are majority americans.

and i do always wonder how much of that is "there are actually a majority of usamericans" and how much is "usamerican cultural markers are a default for many online spaces, and non usamericans are often indistinguishable from usamericans unless you're actively looking".

so here's an incredibly unscientific poll reblog for reach or whatever