modern-day yentl

Hard furniture YES

Soft furnishings NO

Free bookcase? Table? Lamp? Go for it

Free couch, mattress or beanbag? Leave it be!

People. Wow. Open your EYES.

Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR

IN

WHITE

The number of people I've had to witness talking to myself and others about how transhet people aren't valid, unsafe, how we're traitors to our queer peers, how we don't belong at pride, how we shouldn't have pride because "ew straights".

It's really fucking exhausting. And I'm not even straight! My husband is, and he feels the same way, so I know I'm not alone here. I've heard this from several people now. I hate it. I hate how I and others are seen as lesser just because we're attracted to, married to, or dating people of different genders than us.

You can't help that you're gay. Transhet people can't help that they're heterosexual. Why is this so fucking hard for people to understand? What the fuck do you think happens to the gays and lesbians who transition and are now straight trans women and trans men? You sure as fuck accepted them then, why not now?

And that's not even including aspec heterosexuals, but that's not my community so I won't speak on that.

I've said this a few times now, but I'll say it again: the trans community and wider queer community has a heterophobia problem.

Like, in this hypothetical scenario, both the trans man and woman have the exact same choice: get misgendered or get denied housing... Except a trans woman getting misgendered is framed as worse than being homeless while trans men should just like... Shut up and deal with it, I guess.

kai, who is 15 and just bought a binder and his parents think it's a silly phase and he's in a red state where politicians writing laws about whether he can chop off his beautiful womanly breasts

joe, who is in his 40s and entirely stealth and has a wife and two daughters

oliver, who is 22 and on hrt and passes pretty well, but is still legally female and is read as female in some contexts

sarah, who is 30 and in a conservative environment where he's forced to be a housewife and mother and doesn't exactly know he's trans, just that he wishes he was born a man

and so many other trans men because every single one of us is a unique individual with a unique relationship to male privilege

and it's not that trans men can't have male privilege. joe certainly does, though he would likely lose some of that privilege if he were outed. oliver is probably privileged in a lot of everyday ways, like not being catcalled or getting taken more seriously at work, but is still very much subject to more structural forms of misogyny. and there are ways in which trans men are privileged over our trans sisters. our capacity for privilege is something to be aware of, not something to instinctively deny.

but also, for non trans men, listen to us when we talk about our experiences not being treated like men and not having male privilege. listen to us when we talk about our experiences with misogyny (crucially, without treating us like being subject to misogyny makes us Honorary Women)

Levi's said yes, actually. Assless chaps and a biker vest. Happy Pride.