-Pretentious Quote-

you dont understand. im not objectifying you—i care deeply about you and i wish that i could hear each and every memory that brings you joy—but i am objectifying your massive fucking milkers

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

okay now that we’ve a had couple lesbian blockbusters and milfs are having a romance moment, we need to bring back the manic pixie dream girl. she was never fuckin suited to fixing all the problems of some boring twenty year old everyman, but you know who could actually benefit from a quirky free-spirited blue haired girl with pronouns (she/they)? a newly divorced forty-something mom who’s trying to learn how to be herself for the first time in her life

cis people be like "i'm not a transphobe i just consider my connection to a book/movie series to be more important than your lives"

There are few deeper betrayals than checking out a video game on the strength of its story trailer and discovering that the cool alt girl is an NPC and the actual player character is some dude who's such a nonentity that he does not appear in the promotional material for the game of which he is the ostensible protagonist.

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

Werewolves had invaded my house and the only cure to stop them from turning was pickle juice. Pouring it on them, not making them drink it

Okay but why are we curing them?