The Promises I Made (2024)
...Okay, so. Last year, I was like "Oh man, 2023 was even more awful than 2022! I hope things improve in 2024!" Yeah... It turns out I just did not actually know the meaning of "awful" until I met 2024.
I mentioned some of the drama at my work in earlier posts this year (we literally don't even know who is going to be leading us starting in January because the vice president quit two weeks before the end of the semester with zero notice... ha... ha... and then the day Fall 2024 grades were due all of our IT systems collapsed on themselves, so students can't even register; all of our classes are currently extremely under-enrolled and some people might not even meet their contract requirements so there might be layoffs)--and I posted a bit ago about someone hitting my car during the one period of my life where I had an expired driver's license...
But I've also been dealing with some other stuff I didn't share earlier, because I was just feeling really down about it all:
In August, my doctors found an unidentified mass in the soft tissue near my hip; further ultrasounds and MRIs have determined I have both a mass in the tissue and, below that, a tumor in the bone marrow of my pelvis. It's still unknown whether the masses are cancerous or not; I have a specialist appointment in January for further action. Just like back in 2021, I'm now being hit with over $1000 in medical bills with more to follow as they continue to monitor the problems.
My 91-year-old grandmother entered hospice in late November and is living out her final days; my family are all fighting over what to do about her situation because she does not have enough insurance or savings to cover the costs of a longer-term stay in in-patient hospice care.
The air conditioning unit in the home I live in in Texas leaked through the ceiling and nearly caused a cave-in. It needs to be entirely replaced before it can be used again ($3500, homeowner's insurance will not cover the unit, only the water spots on the ceiling... thanks...).
And finally, the home I own in Utah experienced a complete pipe failure under the concrete slab foundation of the house, which will require massive portions of the beautiful laminate flooring I installed just a few years ago to be torn out, the entire foundation slab to be jackhammered into pieces, and will cost upwards of $10,000 to repair, also with the homeowner's insurance refusing to pay a penny.
So like, 2024 was probably the second worst year of my life (next to 2021, the year I got long COVID and spent three and a half months going in and out of the hospital while a tree fell through my house, the dog I had for twelve years died, and the storms in Texas shorted out the circuits in my house, causing the house to rack up thousands of dollars in power bills while I was in the hospital and couldn't fix the problem, la la la...)
Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a pity party, just a preface to explain: I failed so, so, so many promises because I just couldn't accomplish a single thing this year without a disaster occurring. I tried... Really I did...
1) Step down from my administrative position and return to being a full-time faculty member. I literally cannot take the clown show that is admin at my work anymore. It is actually killing me.
Status: Broken. BUT I TRIED. I submitted my resignation letter and everything and my boss just said no??? I wasn't aware that "We don't accept your resignation" was an actual thing that could happen, but it happened to me. (Apparently, an employer can't stop you from quitting but they can stop you from stepping down from an elected position when you're on contract for that position... RIP.)
2) Related to this, redecorate my new office as soon as they decide where they are going to move me.
Status: Broken. I wasn't allowed to leave my office, so I didn't have a different office to decorate either. 🥲
3) Apply for new jobs!! APPLY FOR NEW JOBS!!!
Status: Kept. I actually did this, and even did an interview or two. However, I didn't like the places I interviewed and also did the math and realized a lot of them would pay less than I'm currently making... It's a bad sign when your job is this shitty and other schools still give you the vibe that they'd be worse!!
4) Train my replacement in the chair position well so they are super prepared to take over in fall.
Status: Somewhat kept. While I technically did not have a replacement, my new assistant is much, much more involved than my prior assistant, so he got a lot of training and I think he will be ready to take over when my contract expires.
5) Put a new sink/vanity in the downstairs bathroom of the Utah house.
Status: Broken. It's hard to do this when the piping decides to explode so you have to pay $10,000 to refloor the basement instead. YUP.
6) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.
Status: Kept. I didn't get them sanded; I ended up doing it myself though. They're not perfect but they're usable for now.
7) Finally get rid of the dirt pile in front of the Utah house.
Status: Broken. I just... did not have the mental or physical capability to do this.
8) Take down the remains of the wooden fence posts at the Utah house.
Status: Broken. Okay so I said this wouldn't be a pity party, but the reason so many of the Utah house promises specifically were broken this year is that the people who were staying in the house moved out with zero notice in July and literally left the house an absolute disaster. Like, hundreds of dollars in damage to the house. THERE WERE ROTTEN POTATOES GROWING ROOTS INTO THE PANTRY WALLS, GUYS. THERE WAS BIRD SHIT ON THE CEILINGSSSS. So literally every ounce of energy I had planned to use for DYI projects was instead spent deep cleaning up that nightmare.
9) Fully clean out and prepare the Utah house to be rented out to new renters. Hopefully the next people won’t sneak in a parrot that poops all over the floor… RIP…
Status: Kept. But, as above mentioned--it was a fucking nightmare. I bought a brand new stove last summer and when I opened it, it was completely BLACK inside. Literally the entire inner surface of the stove was CAKED in black grease as if they had just cooked meat straight on the oven rack without even a pan. I almost committed murder on the spot; y'all were about to see me on the 10 o'clock Utah news, not even gonna lie.
10) Clean off my back patio/car port area so I can park my car there again.
Status: Broken. I just... did not do this.
11) Call the plumber and replace the faucets. Even if I end up having to do it myself.
Status: Broken. I had no money to do this.
12) Get the dead tree removed from the Texas house yard and call the internet company to see about the cable around the tree root.
Status: Kept. I cut the tree down myself with a mini chainsaw. It was pretty sick. Also, the cable is old and dead so we chopped it up.
13) Plant roses where the old ones died in front of the Texas house.
Status: Broken. I'm actually not sure what I was even thinking of with this one; I leave Texas in the summers so there's no point in planting plants that will just die in the summer heat when they don't get watered...
14) Replace my CPU fan; the bearings are going out and it’s making an annoying noise.
Status: Technically kept? In that I just bought a whole brand-new computer so, hey, I don't have to hear the old fan anymore lol. Love it for me that I bought a $1100 computer a month before getting diagnosed with tumors and racking up thousands in medical bills, then having my AC unit fail, then having the plumbing explode in my house. LOVE IT FOR ME.
15) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them.
Status: Technically kept, in that, again, I got a new computer so there's like... nothing on it. I'll be better at organizing the documents this coming year... maybe...?
16) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2023 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.
Status: LOL. Broken. If I thought the stress eating was bad last year, you can guess what it was like this year. I feel like I should also clarify that one of the potential causes of the tumors near and in my pelvis is that last year I fell and fractured said pelvis so I couldn't actually do any meaningful exercise for months and the increasing pain from that lingering injury is what drove me to doctor to check the area in the first place, which is how I found out I have said tumors. ...Yay.
17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that paint program I bought.
Status: Broken. I... yeah... I didn't do this.
18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year, but I hope I can make progress on this.
Status: HA. "I'm still paying off the hell year." OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. You had no idea what was coming...
19) Buy all the Noragami volumes I am missing and do a complete re-read of Noragami now that the series is finishing up.
Status: Somewhat kept. I did get the final volume at last so I should have them all now, but I still need to do the re-read. Mood's been pretty low so "Abuse: The Manga" was not at the top of my reading list this last year. 😂
20) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.
Status: Broken. I forgot I made this promise. Next year for sure. T_T
21) Finish at least five books this year.
Status: Broken, maybe? I actually can't remember how many books I read this year because the year is such a nightmarish blur to me. I think it was close but since I can't confirm, I'm just gonna say I didn't make it.
22) Update HaaH at least once. Please, Echo???
Status: Broken. I sure would have loved to have a single bit of mental capacity left to write anything this year, but I didn't. At all.
23) Reach the new level cap with all jobs in FFXIV!
Status: Broken. I feel like this is the most shocking broken promise on the list actually, but I kinda... stopped playing FF throughout this year...
24) Go to the graduation ceremony for my family friend.
Status: Broken. I feel really bad about this, but the timing did not work out--I wasn't able to take enough time off work to go. I did watch the livestream though!
25) Catch up with hanging up all the charms/pins I’ve gotten recently on my corkboards; these are just sitting in boxes/bags around the house. D;
Status: Actually kept. I'm impressed with myself.
26) Fully deep clean and vacuum/detail my own car at home. No more of the “It doesn’t make sense to clean it out now; the dog is just going to go back in it.” The dog is always going to go back in it. Clean it, Echo.
Status: "But I'm going to travel again in just a few weeks. I'll do it after I get back." - Echo, who very much did not detail her car.
27) Help my parents tear out the carpet in my old childhood bedroom.
Status: Broken. It's kind of hard to pull out carpet when there's no place to move the room's furniture to, lol. 2025 though! That'll be the year!
28) See at least three new species of birds. Doesn’t matter where, just three new ones!
Status: Kept and exceeded--I saw eight new species this year, including my first species of cuckoo!
29) Reach 3500 followers. Can I do it? You should follow me if you’re not already; I’m pretty cool. Just sayin’!
Status: Kept. Thanks for following me, guys! I hope that 2025 will give me less trouble so I can go back to posting a bit more reguarly.
30) Cancel all the subscriptions I don’t need. There’s literally no reason to sit around letting companies passively profit off me when I don’t even really use the services/the services keep getting worse while the costs keep going up.
Status: Kept. Fuck you, Netflix. Fuck you, Spotify. Fuck you, Amazon Prime. I'm free!!
31) Go out on at least a day trip to take pictures with my friend. We haven’t done this in quite some time. I need to touch grass.
Status: Kept. We went out to an arboretum and had a lovely day. Here are a few of the photos I took:
32) Repair the lovely one-of-kind ceramic plate that my dog broke with kintsugi. I want to try it at least once!
Status: Broken. I keep asking for one of those "food safe" kintsugi kits for Christmas but I think my family can't spell the word well enough to even search it up online lol.
33) Really look hard for my passport in my house. It’s been missing for like a year and a half now, and I don’t want to have to pay for a new one.
Status: Kept. I did honestly look pretty hard for it, I just never found it. I was also informed by the good old DMV that the passport is now super expired anyway, so I guess there is no point to keep looking.
34) Put all the small prints, postcards, and stickers I have collected in my new mini-print books. I can even use up washi tape to decorate too. (Finally, a purpose for the washi tape…)
Status: Broken. I did not do this. I did buy the small books and collected all the small prints to put in the books, but I did not actually put them in, let alone use the washi tape to do so lol. A project for next year, I guess.
35) Shred the million pieces of old mail I have lying around the house. I finally got the shredder so it just makes sense to use it.
Status: Somewhat kept. I made progress!! I did not shred ALL the things, but I did shred some of the things. That's something...
36) Have more follow-through with chores. It’s not enough to wash the clothes or do the dishes if I then procrastinate on folding the clean laundry and putting the dried dishes back in the cabinets…
Status: Actually, somehow of all things, this was kept. I think because my life was sooo bad in ways outside my control this year that I ended up compensating by overdoing it on things I could control. I definitely had a cleaner house in 2024 than before.
37) Put reminders for birthdays and major events in my phone as well as set a monthly reminder to check these promises. Maybe I’ll be able to keep more promises if I look at the list more often throughout the year!
Status: Kept. I did put the reminders in my phone. I wasn't that great at actually following through and buying cards/hosting parties (nor at keeping the promises) but I did set the reminders lol.
38) Since I can’t afford to go to the salon, spa, etc. too much this year, I should at least do some self-care days at home. Will this be the year I finally manage to use all the fancy scrubs and face masks and bath salts I keep getting from people?
Status: Somewhat kept. Honestly, I feel like I should count this as kept just for the fact that I did finally, FINALLY use the sugar scrub I bought like five years ago, which is the specific item that prompted this promise in the first place. IT'S GONE. I USED IT. I also used like... one of the masks people bought. But it was not as nice of an experience as I thought it would be. I don't know why I didn't anticipate that it would be a cold and slimy feeling lolol.
39) Use up one whole notebook. It doesn’t matter what goes in the notebook, but I gotta use the whole thing from cover to cover. I have so many pretty notebooks that never get used just because they’re pretty.
Status: Broken. I really don't write by hand that much... I just type... And that's when I'm even writing at all... Oof.
40) Change the burned-out lightbulbs in the recessed lighting in the Texas house ceiling. It’s like twelve feet high and the lightbulb changer stick I bought didn’t work, so I’m going to have to find someone with a ladder. Save me, handyman. Save me.
Status: Broken. I have executive dysfunction specifically for the act of calling people to ask them to come fix things. There are probably so many handymen available in my town and yet. The lightbulbs are not changed.
41) Build the pretty koi paper lantern my brother got me, or the Korean temple model my coworker gave me after his trip to Korea.
Status: Broken. I hid under my covers instead of doing anything productive or artistically creative this year.
42) Actually use the yoga mat I bought forever ago. At least a few times, please???
Status: Broken. I feel like I at least have a slight excuse for this one; after my fall last year, I had massive pain from my fractured pelvis that actually grew in intensity over time, so doing certain stretches or heavy exercise was pretty much right out. Turns out that still feeling pain from a fall that took place a year ago is not normal; those are tumors, Echo. I'm hoping that dealing with that situation this year will help relieve some of the pain and make it easier to exercise again.
43) Finish watching the Fruits Basket remake with Kacchan. I think we stopped in the second season, RIP.
Status: I'm going to count this as kept because we have just four more episodes left and we will definitely be able to finish them within the first week of 2025. IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, OKAY.
44) Spend more time with coworkers—go out to lunch more often.
Status: Kept. I don't think that I really managed to go out to lunch with people that much more often, but I did overall spend more time with coworkers I think; we started getting group tickets to the community theater and saw several plays together this year.
45) See about removing the PMI from at least one of my house loans to try to save money. I’ve been paying on these loans long enough I shouldn’t need PMI anymore.
Status: Broken. I really needed to do this honestly but I didn't.
46) Practice my German skills (or I guess other language skills?) by translating something at least once a month.
Status: Broken. I just... did not do this.
47) Get a new bookshelf. The current ones in both my office and foyer are already overflowing. @_@
Status: Kept! But... I promptly filled the entire new bookshelf, so... I need another new bookshelf already lmaooo.
48) Make more time to call people and talk on the phone. Texting is not the same. D;
Status: Kept! I talked to my lovely friend Kacchan on the phone soooo much more this year!
49) Get the new COVID vaccine to stay healthy.
Status: Kept. I did not get sick for Christmas this year; one bright spot!
50) I will keep my promises!
Status: Ehhhhhh... A little here, a little there, as always. I guess it could have been worse!
See yah tomorrow for 2025's new promises!
