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I mean, valid point and that is a really funny long game, but Iâd rather undermine the idea of Googleâs inescapable supremacy in peopleâs minds and encourage the idea of choice. I, for example, donât actually google things. I usually use DuckDuckGo.
My efforts to find this post were greatly complicated by the fact that I have since taken my own advice, and so âdo a web searchâ wasnât a great search term.
Anyway. Fuck Google. Stop saying Google it, and also stop googling it.
Almost. Years ago my computer suddenly stopped working and lost everything on it. Fortunately a relatively recent backup still existed bc of my family, a recent parts switch, and dumb luck. But last year a friend of mine got hacked and lost close to everything he had done creatively in the last 17-ish years. Art. Novels in progress. Entire conlangs. DnD character Sheets. Music he had made. All gone. He never backed any of it up. Few months later I started this habit (or ritual, almost) of drawing a reminder beast any time I would make a full complete backup. In hopes that seeing these things might remind others and myself. (Another factor here is that I am an animator and some of the stuff on my computer took literal years to make. And the film university I go to urges us to take this stuff seriously, too.)
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And penguins lack large terrestrial predators, so their reaction to humans tends to be, âHELLO STRANGE GIANT PENGUINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY FISH?â
There is an international treaty that says weâre supposed to stay 6m away from penguins, and itâs really difficult because no one told the penguins, and they all desperately want to wander up and say hi.
When deciding who to work for there is a sliding scale of employers that goes from lil mom and pop shops up to corporate monoliths. I have worked at both ends of the spectrum and I can pretty definitively say that tiny businesses are hands down the most insane employers.
The sweet spot is a place that has like 10-20 stores; thatâs the best possible work environment. Theyâll be polished enough to have protocols that make work structured, but not so bogged down with bureaucracy that nothing can ever get done.
This story is not from that sweet spot. This story is from my time working at Oil and Vinegar. Now, like many little franchise stores, the idea was solid. There was on tap imported olive oil and vinegar and it was really delicious. Top shelf. Unfortunately, each location was like the Wild West because owners varied wildly.
My owner was the human embodiment of Mr. Krabbs. His eyes were just constant dollar signs. Throughout my training he informed me of the price of every single piece of equipment I touched and how much it cost to replace it.
He had cameras set up to watch us, and an app on his phone to access the live feed. Heâd call us to ask what we were doing when heâd just checked a camera to make sure we were being honest.
Now, the trouble was he had two locations. His location further south did amazing. It was way more centrally located and got three times the foot traffic. The one I worked in was in the snottiest mall possible in Arizona and consequently the rent was through the roof.
It was not going well for my store. We didnât get as much traffic, so there was only so much I could do in a day. I could dust, sweep, and wait for customers. I read a lot and was frank when he called to interrogate me. I always asked for additional tasks but he never had any. What could I do to prop up a failing business?
But this man was convinced there was some Secret Reason that the store I was in was doing worse. He crunched numbers, looked at staff, and eventually hit upon the most insane possible solution.
We used too much toilet paper.
We were probably stealing toilet paper! Bleeding him dry one single ply square at a time! How dare we need to use the bathroom?! His south location used half as much toilet paper as we did, we must be thieving little monsters!!!!
Friends. The south location was populated entirely by men. My location had three people on staff who had to sit to pee. It was so blindly transparently the source of the discrepancy but this man was convinced we were making off with toilet paper to bankrupt him.
So he implemented what he believed to be an entirely reasonable response to this base treachery. We were allowed to have one roll of toilet paper. At any given time, one roll was permitted to us. This was so transparently unhinged that we protested but he insisted. If we were low on toilet paper we needed to call him to drop off a roll that he brought from his home. Smiling jovially, he assured us he lived so close by that it would be no problem!
When we needed to call him often for more he started tearing his hair out. What were we using toilet paper for?! Why wasnât his genius plan to stop our scandalous waste working??!
Finally, the manager, the only man on staff had to pull the owner aside and be like, âLook, man, their bladders are smaller. They need to wipe every time they pee. They need to pee even more on their period. Is this really the hill you want to die on?â
Yes. It was. The manager was fired unrelated reasons and denounced as a traitor. The toilet paper ration lasted until I quit and probably until the store closed six months later.
Worked at a big trucking plant that made canopies for cars that shipped all over the US and in Canada and then worked at a tiny art gallery. I went from both sides of the spectrum in a fucking rocket ship
Read more for bullshit jobs
Big Trucking corp (I was data entry making 17/hr even though I was working many jobs it should have been more during the fucking pandemic :) I left after a year):
Was working Tue-Sat bc the truckers left on sunday but there were only myself and one other person finishing up the paperwork on saturday for the truckers to take to the dealers BC EVERYONE ELSE BUT THE PRODUCTION WORKERS WORKED MON-FRI
so if some dumbass entered something wrong we were screwed bc they never picked up their phones
plus we had the bulk of our papers (me data entering and my associate finishing up and printing out the payment forms) on Saturday that we would stay until 11pm (until I got faster and even still it was killing me and her but she was use to it)
EVERYONE I mean everyone complained and hated their job. It really kills your soul that no one at least liked their work lol and yea sure you don't have to love your work but every time I talked to anyone it was to bitch about their job (and I did also bc that type of environment how can you not but also my job sucked ass)
Was told to come in on Sunday if I didn't finish (this was the deciding factor of me leaving into the other side of hell...) but also there was one time I was so stressed that while at work I couldn't move my body for like....10 minutes...it was scary
HR lady got mad at me for doing too much overtime so I said, "well...I wouldn't do that if we got an extra pair of hands...how is the search going?" HR Lady: "oh it's a lengthy process haha just try to not go over time haha" ...lady...
We finally got our extra pair of hands and it was bliss! We finished on time and it was nice for a couple of months until someone quit without 2 weeks (don't blame them) and production manager came up to me and said "want a promotion?" I stopped bc I was suspicious like you and HR lady didn't want to give me 20/hr but now I get a promotion what's the deal? Well he wanted to see if I wanted that other person's job. I told him I rather stay in my position (bc something stunk about the whole thing). WELL my boss comes in a day later all pissed off and I asked what's up, and he said "THEY WANNA STEAL YOU AWAY FROM ME!" (Sounds creepy lol but he was actually the only hard working manager in the whole fucking place and I had a lot of respect for him) but basically how I got the job is that the last person left and he was doing his job and mine and he threaten them "if you don't find someone soon, I'll quit" and bc he's an amazing manager they didn't wan to lose him (in comes me then). So he was like "I said I'll quit if we go back to square one" BUT BUT BUT he looked at me (I already told him I turned it down bc something felt off) and he said "Good call bc he was saying that you would do this job AND that job to appease me! I told him that wasn't possible and he was bullshitting me of course" So my instincts were correct lol
BUT THEN HE ASK OUR NEW HELP AND OF COURSE THE NEW GUY AGREES AND WE LOSE OUR HELP WITH THE FINAL PROCESS AND THAT WAS ALSO THE LAST STRAW
There was more but that's a good portion of it. Hate that place, but I miss my old boss he was a real one that was being jerked around also
Small art gallery (Took a pay cut of 16/hr and part time but I thought "I'll be working in my field of study and maybe I can start my PhD etc):
First day I stood outside the fucking building for 30 minutes while the gallery manager just fucked around and ignored me bc it wasn't time to open but I was told to come in early to shadow her (so the bosses didn't fucking tell her so she thought I was just some rando waving at her and waiting to open but also why didn't you come and see what I fucking wanted???)
So I shadow her a few days and then she had to step down due to her husband needing a heart transplant and that's all good good for them BUT THEN I GET PROMOTED AND IM SUPER GREEN?!
I'm gallery manager/director/cashier/cleaner etc all for fucking minimum wage and "part-time but not really part-time" :') so no health insurance
So I'm thrown to the wolves trying my best and I survive the year and I thought I did well for being what I had to work with (basically on my own bullshitting everything bc there was no direction whatsoever.
So Manager comes back and despite having a higher title she resumes more of the responsibilities (which ok fine) but didn't teach me ANYTHING so I'm like...back to square one???
No communication whatsoever, the teachers didn't know what was going one, I didn't, only the manager (like 90% of the time) and owners knew what they wanted and they did not communicate it clearly but would bitch and gossip with each other with how incompetent ppl were??? and I was there standing like "uhhhhhh" it was weird high school behavior (well one didn't participate but she was in the same boat like "uhhhh Im sure they are doing their best" I like her.
Anyways, nothing is progressing bc their is not action plan for anyone just the random fucking "quick money" skims such as a subscription based art???thing? They were explaining to me and I sat there like "no one will realistically buy this shit...on a subscription base model." But can't tell them that nooooo so I had to bite my tongue and go "omg such a great idea!" and then I had to sell it.
There's a lot but that's the most of it but so after manager comes back and I'm burnt the fuck out I thought "let me request time off for a week and then come back refresh maybe that will help" and dammit I deserved it!
Well I go on vacation (something I hadn't done in years not only bc of COVID but just being poor...I was still poor but I made it work) and I come back on the day we were gonna have a staff meeting. I arrive and I thought I was early bc no one else was there...well they sat me down and laid me off...RIGHT after coming back from vacation. :)
I was livid and crushed bc I had NEVER been laid off.
So I leave and I just shut the place out my mind bc fuck all that noise and they stay open only a year longer before closing down :)))) and I heard one of the owners (the one that owned more of the business) burned a lot of bridges.
BONUS: I'm working my dream career after 1.5 years unemployed and feeling worthless but I work with one of the owners (the nice one)...and I asked her to go to coffee in the future...I'm kinda curious on what she has to say lol
Things don't have purposes, as if the universe were a machine, where every part has a useful function. What's the function of a galaxy? I don't know if our life has a purpose and I don't see that it matters. What does matter is that we're a part. Like a thread in a cloth or a grass-blade in a field. It is and we are. What we do is like wind blowing on the grass.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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