I wrote a version of this:
"My dad calls me that all the time when he's pissed off," Steve says, keeping his voice light. It kind of hurts his feelings, to be honest, not that he'll ever admit that.
Eddie drains his beer and sets it aside. "My old man does it too, sometimes," he says, mouth pulling to one side. "Or used to, when he bothered to show up. He didn't dare do it when Wayne was around, though."
"Nah," Eddie says, and now he's smiling at his hands, small and private. "He's very, uh, love thy neighbor, that kind of thing. Says it's nobody's business what people get up to, if they're not hurting anybody."
"That's cool," Steve says, taking a sip of his own beer. "Wayne's a nice guy."
"Pass me another one," Eddie says.
Steve does, popping the cap off while he's at it. "It would piss my dad off so bad," he says, musing out loud. "Bringing a guy home, I mean."
"I mean, sure," Eddie says, picking at the label of his new bottle. "Great way to get disowned. Go out with a bang, right?"
"He wouldn't disown me," Steve says, wrinkling his nose. "I mean, I think. Pretty sure mom wouldn't let him."
"Alright," Eddie says with a shrug. "But still, why do it?"
Surely it's obvious. "To piss him off," Steve says. "He's an asshole."
Eddie squints at him. "Uh huh."
"We should go for it," Steve says slowly, a new idea taking root. A totally great idea. "You said Wayne's not gonna care, right? And my dad would have a cow about you being a guy and you being you. It's perfect. I'm pretty sure he'd explode. You wanna?"
Eddie's eyebrows scrunch up.
"Date," Steve explains, gesturing between them. "You and me."
"Oh," Eddie says, expression doing something weird. "Like a fake date."
"Uh, sure," Steve says. He's not sure how a date can be fake when it involves doing a bunch of real stuff, like going to a restaurant and maybe fooling around after if everything goes well, but Eddie can call it whatever he wants. More importantly: "I mean, it'd be more than one date. Otherwise, what's the point?"
"You want to tell your dad we're dating," Eddie says.
"No, it's better if he finds out," Steve says, already picturing the way his dad will swell up like a frog, face going purple with rage. "If I take you to Enzo's he'll definitely hear about it from someone, my dad knows everybody."
"Yeah, I bet," Eddie says, making a face like Steve's being dumb. "And we'll also get our asses kicked. You seriously want the whole town thinking you're gay?"
"I can actually fight, you know," Steve says, nettled. "And I don't care what people think. It's about time someone in Hawkins stood up for the queers."
Eddie grimaces. "Don't say it like that, man."
"What?" Steve says. "That's the right word! There are science books using it and everything! It just means, you know, gays and lesbians and stuff. R— uh, someone told me."
Steve actually read about it himself, on a couple of book jackets in a bookstore Robin found in Chicago. It's kind of cool to have a word that lets him be in the club with her, even though he's only half-gay. It's like having a family he didn't know about.
"You're really gonna do this," Eddie says, turning his whole body to look at Steve. "Torch your reputation and any hope of a future in this town by taking a guy out on a date, just to piss off your old man."
"More than one date," Steve says, because that part's important. "So. Are you in?"
Eddie doesn't say anything for a moment, but then he purses his lips, like he's trying not to smile. "Fuck it," he says, eyes dancing with mischief. "Yeah, fuck it, why not? Wine and dine me, big boy."
