Welcome Fucker

not to give green day credit but it is immensely funny how often Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation will be like hi green day play my event. and green day is like ok Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation but you know we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians and we are going to play our song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians .and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like ok green day thats cool. and then green day plays their song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like wtf green day you cant do that you cant play your song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and this has been happening in a cycle for 30 years.

The best thing about that article is that there gets to be a point where you’re like surely. Surely we can’t get sexier and less-martyr-y than this. And that point is about a 3rd of the way through the piece.

violence

This is happening every day

I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales. But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.

I absolutely adore Humboldt squid. I saw a doc once where a scientist was cage diving to study them, and one of the squid squeezed it's entire massive body through the cage bars, bit the guy and squeezed right back out.

This is all fascinating but I'm reblogging it exclusively for the phrase "got nearly squidded from existence."

after a couple hours chopping dried sea urchins into tiny pieces with a razor blade you start referring to the razor blade as yourself in your thoughts. a little while afterwards you'll inevitably think something along the lines of "i'm getting a bit dull, i'm going to have to throw myself out & get myself a new self" at which point your internal monologue has pretty much returned to baseline

This happens with mobility aids too. I bump into shit with my forearm crutches and say "ow" before I realize those are not, in fact, More Legs. Then when I get up and try to walk without them for a second there's a moment of feeling like a dog walking upright

I think there’s a teaboot(?) post about this with a huge security cam system

Yeah I get twitchy when I don't have my eyes

you could get minecraft texture packs for real life.

domming is great until you hit a decision fatigue wall likeeeeee i think youre a fucking grownup and you can decide whether to cum or not on your own. be proactive for once

disturbing amount of people being like “you’re a bad domme you don’t deserve to domme” girl ur a bad comedy audience you don’t deserve to heckle get outta here

do you really think im in the middle of sex going “actually you know what? figure it out for yourself.”

For sale: Baby shoes with lil whisps of smoke coming out of them like the baby got hit by chain lighting and vapourised, never worn.

Some writer is deep in the alt universe levels of AO3 and wrote a movie out of a fan fic premise.

Knead and roll him like the dough he CRAVES IT