Apparently a Cryptid

Boyband whose lore is that they're sealed in a clock tower and their music videos are the only way they can reach outside world

I worked in a supermarket for 7 years and I don't think I can understate just how much cleaning you had to do for it to look clean (it very often where not in the places you aren't supposed to see)

True for food service, retail establishments, gyms, outdoor areas, schools, religious buildings, office buildings, etc. People usually only notice when a space is NOT clean, meanwhile every time a space is clean it’s only because of the diligent work of janitors, maintenance staff, custodians, parks workers, or volunteers.

for a long time now, one of my go-to phrases is "shake it like a can of beans." im not really sure where this came from, but i've been saying it for three years or so. it never really occurred to me that this was unusual until yesterday when i was bouncing a baby in a rocker a little too violently (he was having a great time, it just wasnt exactly sending him to sleep) and i went "sorry, im shaking him like a can of beans over here" and both my coworkers reacted like i had said something insane

one of the babies was getting picked up and started screaming as soon as her dad pulled her from her crib (where she'd been sleeping) and i instinctively said "that's what we in the industry call: baby moding" and he started laughing so hard he almost dropped her

ghost hunting team that keep a nonbeliever named steve around as an emergency supernatural suppressant

he waits in the car with a walkie talkie while they investigate and if things break bad they call him in. as soon as he enters everything stops floating around/trying to kill the hunters and he rolls his eyes and goes back to the car.

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

I like how faries might give you toys or torture you. They are a lot like life in that regard. Follow for more deep real shit.

Some Uzbek digging a canal: “Oh fuck yes a free pot. This rules.”

I think it’s kind of beautiful that this pot just got used as an ordinary pot. Like imagine you’re a smith and you make a pot so good that people are using it 2000 years later. You’d be proud, right?

uuuuh okay update on the crush discourse going on in my notes: if a friend has a crush on you and they do tell you they're unfairly pressuring you to reciprocate but if they don't tell you they're being dishonest with you so either way they've ruined the friendship. every day the most anxious minds on earth make amazing philosophical strides on this website.

splatoon fans are like “you GOTTA listen to ‘freshwater freekin it’ that one is straight fire” and link you to a song composed of synthesized cat meows, first graders playing recorders, and vine booms. and then by the end you’re absolutely furious because they’re right

splatoon fans in the notes are behaving how you might expect

i cannot BELIEVE

freshwater freekin’ it friday