🍃🌻🌼🌻🌼🌻🍃

endless reddit threads where new moth owners are asking about their moths bumping into lamps

Videos of jumping spiders attempting to jump at movements on a tv or laptop screen

endless debates about the ethics of keeping hots (velvet ants, tarantula hawks, etc)

Actually I bet there would be a LOT of debate about keeping eusocial insects singly. IS it ethical to keep a single ant? Probably not; they require a colony for their mental health

How much research would be done on the mental and emotional health of giant pet insects

Spider agility would involve a LOT of wall-climbing, I bet

[id: active style manual wheelchair with frame made of rectangle wood planks screwed together. end id]

as we know active type wheelchair very expensive, & repair need buy from specific medical manufacturer n take very long time. someone (who wheelchair user themself of near 40 years) made open source active manual wheelchair where most (if not all?) material from commercial easy get materials! wood, plastic, pvc pipe, & those commercial aluminum square pipe things. n they put guide made them yourself in link for anyone want try make

this video from their instagram show their wood frame wheelchair actually pretty durable, include clip from everyday use & even drop wheelchair all over place (basically imagine what airline do to them…) - n wheelchair stay in tact! n even if some part break - it easy change because wood planks all screwed together so you just buy wood plank & unscrew & rescrew.

not great for people w advanced seating positioning needs probably (think if only problem is easy butt pressure sore, maybe can still use this + supportive cushion but think beyond that it get hard). but if like you don’t need those things then maybe fun project?

Good article by David Hunter on how to survive the Trump presidency, both on the personal and on the political plane.

Since nobody is talking about the existential threat to the climate and the environment a second Trump term/Republican government control will cause, which to me supersedes literally every other issue, I wanted to just say my two cents, and some things you can do to help. I am a conservation biologist, whose field was hit substantially by the first Trump presidency. I study wild bees, birds, and plants.

In case anyone forgot what he did last time, he gagged scientists' ability to talk about climate change, he tried zeroing budgets for agencies like the NOAA, he attempted to gut protections in the Endangered Species Act (mainly by redefining 'take' in a way that would allow corporations to destroy habitat of imperiled species with no ramifications), he tried to do the same for the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (the law that offers official protection for native non-game birds), he sought to expand oil and coal extraction from federal protected lands, he shrunk the size of multiple national preserves, HE PULLED US OUT OF THE PARIS CLIMATE AGREEMENT, and more.

We are at a crucial tipping point in being able to slow the pace of climate change, where we decide what emissions scenario we will operate at, with existential consequences for both the environment and people. We are also in the middle of the Sixth Mass Extinction, with the rate of species extinctions far surpassing background rates due completely to human actions. What we do now will determine the fate of the environment for hundreds or thousands of years - from our ability to grow key food crops (goodbye corn belt! I hated you anyway but), to the pressure on coastal communities that will face the brunt of sea level rise and intensifying extreme weather events, to desertification, ocean acidification, wildfires, melting permafrost (yay, outbreaks of deadly frozen viruses!), and a breaking down of ecosystems and ecosystem services due to continued habitat loss and species declines, especially insect declines. The fact that the environment is clearly a low priority issue despite the very real existential threat to so many people, is beyond my ability to understand. I do partly blame the public education system for offering no mandatory environmental science curriculum or any at all in most places. What it means is that it will take the support of everyone who does care to make any amount of difference in this steeply uphill battle.

There are not enough environmental scientists to solve these issues, not if public support is not on our side and the majority of the general public is either uninformed or actively hostile towards climate science (or any conservation science).

So what can you, my fellow Americans, do to help mitigate and minimize the inevitable damage that lay ahead?

On one hand it is so funny watching the generation previous to mine (I was born in 84) absolutely say the most unhinged shit online, doxx themselves, and get fired, after spending my entire childhood teaching me online opsec because every stranger was a potential murderer. Social media done rotted their brains.

But on the other I'm seeing kids coming up, seeing them spew all their personals online, and using that to model their unsafe behavior and put themselves at incredible risk because the internet actually got way more dangerous than it was, ironically, when I was coming up being told I had to basically outsmart the fuckin CIA. Now the actual CIA and other bad actors (government, private, and individual) really are out there and these kids are watching fucking meemaw post a photo of the front of her house practically captioned with her fucking SSN and thinking, "yeah, sure, the adults know what's safe."

I gotta be a fuckin millennial about this and beg younger folx to listen to the VCR generation: hide yourself online. Nothing should go there you wouldn't want in the hands of the person who hates you the most.

Minors DON'T LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE. You can't pretend to be an adult. Adults know what adults and kids sound like..

Adults, "Over 18" or "An Adult" IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

She famously demonstrated that nearly 90% of Americans were uniquely identifiable with just three pieces of information about them: gender (binary assumed; think "gender on your state-issued ID"), date of birth, and ZIP code.

"But my age isn't my full date of birth!" Yeah, true, so she also fuzzed birth date to birth year and rechecked her analysis. That still gets over seven in ten people.

Honestly, with some notable exceptions, I actually mostly think it's fine to lie about whether or not you're a minor. Because the thing is, "Don't pretend to be a legal adult when you're not" is all well and good until it becomes "Broadcast that you are young and vulnerable". There are people who will use that info against you! You're not obligated to make it easy for them to find.

The caveat is to be careful about things that might get someone else in legal trouble. I'm not gonna tell you to never view any nsfw content because I think teenagers are capable of setting their own limits around that, but for example don't exchange sexually explicit messages with someone who thinks you're over 18. You can set boundaries around this without revealing anything about your age, because adults have just as much right to opt out of sexual interactions as minors do.

Girl help the radfem swiftie is getting gender essentialism on my post about how it's shitty to blame relationship problems on your partner in lieu of communicating.

ADHD causes some very clear, very well known interpersonal issues in people of all genders and it is possible to recognize that

"People with ADHD experience relationship difficulties as a result of executive dysfunction" and

"People with ADHD are often infantalized, demonized, ridiculed, and dismissed by neurotypical partners"

Can both be true statements.

And that's *aside* from the fact that neurodivergent people generally, and neurodivergent women especially, are more likely to be victims of IPV than neurotypicals are, and that many neurodivergent people who are abused or treated poorly by their partners are DARVO'd specifically on the basis of their neurodivergence.

Just. Like. Way to miss the point in every direction.

Does ADHD make you rude and disrespectful? No, but behaviors that many people consider rude and disrespectful are fairly common in people with ADHD; this can be addressed by assessing the social norms of the people you'll be interacting with and clearly communicating when you find a particular behavior to be intolerably rude and finding a workaround. If you hate being interrupted it's probably going to be difficult for you to have a relationship with someone with ADHD. However you might want to consider that your ADHD partner isn't interrupting you because they don't care about what you're saying, but because they're so engaged in the conversation that they want to participate before they forget their point. "Rudeness" is constructed and it's worthwhile to interrogate.

Do adults with ADHD say inappropriate things? Sometimes. Sometimes adults without ADHD say inappropriate things. People with ADHD may struggle with impulse control and their mouths may get ahead of their brains sometimes; if your partner is saying inappropriate things frequently and it is upsetting you, that is something to bring up with your partner.

Does ADHD cause inappropriate behavior? That's going to depend on a lot of definitions, and see above for impulse control. ADHD doesn't cause people to, for instance, start conversations with strangers about their sex lives, but it might cause people to lose focus in meetings or daydream instead of getting work done. All of those things are "inappropriate" in certain contexts.

What are manipulative behaviors of ADHD? Fuck you? Manipulative behaviors are manipulative behaviors; are you asking why your kid is trying to wriggle out of doing homework (perhaps it's boring) or are you asking whether your partner is 'gaslighting' you when they forget to do the dishes? Many people with ADHD deal with a certain level of conflict avoidance or RSD as a result of a lifelong history of criticism; is your partner actually manipulating you or are they trying not to get yelled at? This is probably worthwhile to investigate before going off in search of a list of red flags.

ADHD Relationships in Adults. Man, good luck finding advice that isn't belittling or infantalizing.

ADHD Relationship Boredom. This is a thing that happens in neurotypical relationships too. Try looking up the phrase "honeymoon phase."

ADHD Relationship Book. Good luck. I'm actually not a fan of most ADHD relationship writing, shockingly.

ADHD Spouse Burnout. Burnout is a thing that happens in all kinds of relationships; yours isn't special just because your partner has ADHD. The recourse for *any* relationship burnout is communication. I'm sorry you're tired but this needed to be a conversation about how many dishes in the sink upsets you before it turned into an ultimatum and a reddit ventpost. "We've had a million conversations about this" well clearly they didn't take so either the conversations weren't productive and you needed to find a different way to communicate or you're dating a shithead and the ADHD has less to do with your burnout than the shit-headery. Also for the love of fuck don't just decide you're going to do everything because your partner is helpless - that's going to make you resentful and make your partner feel like they're dead weight so they might as well not try. Fuckin. Talk to each other for fuck's sake.

What to expect when dating a man with ADHD. Lots of stuff. He's probably a whole unique individual human under all that ADHD why don't you fucking ask him about what he's like as a roommate and a partner isn't that the fucking point of dating is getting to know people? You're going to have to ask the man you're dating what he's like.

Why ADHD Partners are hard to love? Fuck you? They aren't? Like maybe if you're going into this with the idea that your partner is going to be difficult to love you should do them a favor and try to find someone else to love? Because it sounds like the ADHD is absolutely not the problem in your relationship.

What men with ADHD need from a partner? That is an entire adult man try fucking asking him if he can't talk to you about his needs then he's not going to be a good partner and that would be true whether or not he had ADHD. You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with what they need in a partner.

Does ADHD lack empathy? ADHD often results in emotional dysregulation, which can lead to people who struggle with expressing or experiencing empathy both in that they might experience less empathy and in that they might experience more. You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with how they relate to other people.

Do people with ADHD like to be touched? You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with whether they like to be touched.

Does ADHD cause emotional detachment? Theoretically it could. You're going to have to ask the person you're dealing with about their attachment style and way of relating emotionally to the people around them.

How do you keep a man with ADHD interested in? You're going to have to talk to the man you're dealing with about what he's interested in.

Can ADHD cause narcissism? Is there a link between ADHD and narcissism? ADHD can make it harder to focus on people outside of yourself, and people with ADHD are frequently labeled as thoughtless, selfish, self-centered, and narcissistic. Personally I think that's unfair and a misinterpretation of behaviors people are exhibiting. The behaviors that seem "narcissistic" (forgetting events that are important to other people; forgetting to do tasks that were requested, difficulty listening to other people's concerns, starting projects on their own with no input from the group) are often manifestations of issues with executive dysfunction that would need to be individually addressed, not labeled as "bad person mental disorder for mean assholes," which is what most questions about 'narcissism' seem to be asking. (And shoutout to the NPD crew, I'm sorry people treat you like shit and have made the challenges you are dealing with into 'villain syndrome.') Anyway, my response to both of these questions is better summed up as:

Do people with ADHD have a sixth sense? Yes, but that sense is "time" and the only information it reports is incorrect.

Anyway, the reason this list of questions irritated me so much is that it looks like an attempt to pin genuine relationship issues on a diagnosis that may have nothing to do with the issues at hand and which has symptoms that are going to vary wildly from one person to the next. ADHD causes emotional detachment except in the people for whom it causes overattachment. People with ADHD like to be touched except for the ones who don't. What your ADHD man needs is to be treated like a human being with autonomy, not a puzzle box you're trying to beat with a youtube video.

These are the kinds of headlines we're getting now:

Here's an ongoing fundraiser:

I linked it before, to help with Ramadan, but it's an ongoing initiative, the need has not stopped.

I picked this gofundme because it's been boosted by people I trust and you can see pictures online of the food they've provided, e.g.:

But I also picked this because you can see the amount of donations. It's 2pm ET on Saturday, April 20th right now? For the next week, whatever's donated, I'll match for a total up to $2,000 (we'll say 2,750 CAD, since the gofundme is in Canadian dollars).

The exchange rate currently favors the US dollar pretty heavily (I looked it up, it’s $1 USD to $1.37 CAD), so keep that in mind when you donate.

Add on all the school shootings in the US, inaction on climate change, and a pandemic that was allowed to rip through schools unchecked, kids and young adults have a deep sense that their lives are disposable. And they're right! Our society is systematically hostile and abusive to children in so many ways! However, the only child abuse society gets riled up about is pedophilia. Adults act like pedophilia is the only kind of child abuse that counts as abuse.

And that's why I think we are seeing kids stretching the meaning of pedophilia. They are looking for language that encompasses all of the kinds of abuse that they're experiencing. All of the emotional abuse of children is normalized, quite a bit of physical abuse is normalized, and the lack of privacy, agency, and bodily autonomy is all socially enforced. The truth is that all of these other forms of abuse can and do lead to sexual abuse, too. These kids are on to something, but it's getting deflected and warped by the fact that they still live in the dangerous environments they've been abused in. I think more specific language will be empowering here and will also bridge the gap between the current generation of young people and other anti-violence movements.

So if you are a child or young adult who resonates with any of the above, I want you to know that as a child abuse survivor, I believe you when you say that you've been abused. I think the anxiety about fandom websites and queer people and kink is misplaced because strangers don't usually have the structural power and access to you to hurt you but I know that there are people in you life who do have that power and I'm worried about you. I think ao3/queer/kink are just the issues that you feel safest speaking up about. I see you speaking up and I think there's more going on.

So what I can do for you, as a random stranger on the internet, is give you some resources and language so you can start to articulate your experiences and find solidarity with others.

Some terms you might find helpful:

Here's a copy of the UN's Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US has refused to sign this but it's still a good idea of what the rest of the world believes you deserve and what we know will help you thrive.

Here's a copy of the power and control wheel for child abuse. Power and control wheels are commonly used in many forms of victim advocacy to help map abuse. To be clear, we count these things as abuse because we know from research that they are traumatic. Many laws have not been updated to include all these forms, so you'll notice that many of the things on this wheel are completely legal even though we know they are harmful.

Additionally, I'm including a zine I found on peer support for suicide ideation. I know that growing up, my friends and I were always told to tell a trusted adult but we didn't have one and ended up trying to help each other through some really awful shit. This is a guide written by someone with a similar experience and it details ways to informally support someone who is feeling suicidal.

"lmao antis, amiright? 🙄🤪"

"Gen Z is sooo stupid because they're too privileged to know what ~real~ pain & abuse is!"

"Gen Z is sooo stupid because TikTok brainrot mental illness otherkin China mindcontrol cummunism virus 10,00,0000,000 dead!" or

"hey king. I saw your tumblr post about how Gen Z are trash and I just wanted to let you know that I agree. although I myself am a zoomer (i know ugh) i am on your side. 'one of the good ones' as some may say. btw I never even noticed how big your brain is till now but its awesome"

This is a real problem with real causes. Things don't just happen for no reason because a group you don't like is inherently worse than you or incapable of making good decisions.