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CONNIE PANZARINO at a pride march in Boston circa 1990
[ID: Connie is marching along in her sip 'n' puff (SNP) wheelchair. She is wearing a patterned poncho and sporting a green felt party crown on her head. She styles a pair of wire-rimmed glasses with her slicked back hair. She is smiling. Attached to the back of her wheelchair is a large green cardboard poster that reads "Trached Dykes Eat Pussy Without Comin' Up For Air!" followed by a pink upside-down triangle with a stick figure person in a wheelchair at the centre (a symbol for disabled women)].
the cyborg & the crip by Alison Kafer
[ID: âTrached dykes eat pussy without coming up for air.â Connie Panzarino, a longtime disability activist and out lesbian, would attach this sign to her wheelchair during Pride marches in Boston in the early 1990s. Shockingly explicit, her sign refuses to cast technology as cold, distancing, or disembodied/disembodying, presenting it instead as a source and site of embodied pleasure. âTrachâ is an abbreviation of tracheotomy, a medical procedure in which a breathing tube is inserted directly into the trachea, bypassing the mouth and nose. Someone with a trach, then, can, in effect, breathe through her throat, freeing her mouth for other activities (another version of this sign is âTrached dykes french kiss without coming up for airâ). From a cyborgian perspective, this sign is brilliantly provocative and productive. It draws on the pervasive idea that adaptive technologies grant superior abilities,not merely replacing a lost capacity but enhancing it, yet it does so in a highly subversive way. The message here isnât about blending in, about passing as normal or hypernormal, but about publicly announcing the viability of a queer disabled location. Itâs disnormalizing, adamantly refusing compulsory heterosexuality, compulsory able bodiedness, and homonormativity. As Corbett OâToole argues, it challenges the perceived passivity of disabled women, presenting them as actively pleasuring their partners, thereby graphically refuting stereotypes linking physical disability with nonsexuality.]
2021:
Researchers focused on whether kids that are spanked are more likely to share or, conversely, more likely to have anxiety, years down the li
2021:
Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences.
2018:
The American Academy of Pediatrics says new evidence and research not only show that spanking affects a childâs brain development and increa
2016:
Kids who are spanked tend to act out more and have more problems later on.
2012:
A study reviewed more than two decades of research on the effects of spanking and found nothing positive to report, only that physical punis
2010:
A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on
I havenât pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.
So let me scream it from the hilltops:
Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.
If you think, âbut I was hit and I turned out just fineâ let me pre-reply: NO YOU DID NOT. You think hitting a child is ok, how the fuck does that qualify as âfineâ?????? From one abuse survivor to another: please start healing yourself.
This post needs a "it's been 5 years" update, so here we go:
2022:
Spanking is a risk factor for children's social competency. However, establishing causality is a challenge, given selection bias in samples
Background There is a vast literature on the negative associations between spanking in childhood and various psychosocial developmental outc
2023:
The use of corporal punishment in schools is not an effective or ethical method for management of behavior concerns and causes harm to stude
Spanking has been linked to multiple maladaptive child outcomes. However, previous research linking spanking with children's executive funct
2024:
Corporal punishment is believed to precede various forms of violent behavior, yet prior research has yielded inconsistent findings, partly d
2025:
This technical report describes the prevalence, risk factors for, and consequences of child corporal punishment, which it defines as âany pu
Physically punishing children in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs) has exclusively negative outcomes -- including poor health, lower
YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME TUMBLR
So annoying. So GD annoying.
Equivocating between "beaten with a stick" and "an open hand slap on the bottom" is the basis of all of these "findings" and is a good example of why social sciences are just propaganda wearing academia as a skinsuit.
Hey fucking abusive dumb ass fascist--if your misunderstanding here wasn't so high stakes (you're advocating for hurting kids Real Grade A You Should Totally Abuse Kids comment) how much you've misunderstood this research is almost comedy.
Let me help you: it's actually saying that it DOESN'T MATTER if it's "light" physical abuse....the outcomes are ALL NEGATIVE. That's the point. Outcomes = bad from all types of "corporal punishment." 100% NO positivity comes from hitting kids. Period. Point blank.
What you personally consider to be "tee hee cutesy just for kids it's so light and itty bitty abuse" doesn't matter.
Hitting your kids will harm them.
If you can reply so fundamentally "my head is up my own ass DEEP" in the face of an overwhelming amount of evidence against your views, there's literally nothing I can do for you and I wish you a very blocked.
I really enjoy making Pride-related things
Rainbows are in a separate post.
The above are all a single commission.
Please, share your Pride-related textile projects.
Pride Stuff!
These items are available to purchase in my ko-fi shop:
Beaded fidget toys:
Pride Fidget Strips:
Pride Dragon Fidgets:
Pride Dragons:
Pride Themed Knitting Row Counter:
These items are not yet for sale but I'm willing to make one for you:
Kippah:
Rainbow Penis Charm / Rainbow Water Bottle Carrier:
These items will never be for sale, but I made them!
Rainbow Galaxy Dress:
Pride Merfolx Dress:
(fabric for both is from an indie fabric company that mostly sells through fb. DM if you're really interested)

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I think before you're allowed to argue about whether trans people who can get pregnant are vulnerable to state-sanctioned violence in ways that trans people who can't get pregnant are exempt from (even if they are vulnerable to different forms of violence! they are still exempt from this one thing), you should be required to watch a vaginal delivery as well as a cesarean delivery. on video. full video. there are plenty of educational videos online where you can do so. if you have never seen a birth, I do not want to hear about how trivial of a violence you think it is. I really don't.
Also the permanent changes it can cause to your body.
Like yeah, body hair for transfems for some is INCREDIBLY dysphoria inducing. Now imagine if a transfem was banned from ever shaving anything ever, and was forced to have a beard and shag carpet of chest hair. Would make you wanna die right? Now imagine how trans guys who are dysphoric around their hips and waist and chest feel when they're forced to become *more* feminine looking and permanently unlike being able to shave. You can't shave off those changes.
Also I know itâs not the popular viewpoint, but stretch marks related to pregnancy are Also Permanent, for most people. I thought for the longest time that I was a bad person bc I didnât feel empowered by my âtiger stripesâ or my âbattle scarsâ or however cis people try to paint the physical signs your body carried a baby. I genuinely thought I was monstrous bc whenever I look at the stretch marks I specifically gained from pregnancy I experience plummeting, horrible feelings in my stomach. But like. Birth for me was traumatizing. It wasnât easy or magical or fun. I had an emergency c-section for my first child and thought I was going to die. Trauma + dysphoria + social shaming means this is the first time Iâm talking publicly about how it feels to have marks on my body that wonât ever go away unless I elect to have expensive surgery, and if I have that surgery I am immediately ostracized and painted as shallow for not being able to overcome my trauma/dysphoria bc âgirl powerâ or whatever (and no, saying âwell Iâm not a girlâ does not stop this behavior.)
Birth for people who can have it but are dysphoric about it, can be a permanent trauma on their body in so many ways. Itâs okay to acknowledge that and it doesnât make a person bad for feeling those things and it doesnât make us ungrateful when we do feel dysphoric over it.
(Obviously neither of you were saying that, but I have seen many who do and itâs always terrible when I do.)
oh 1000%, it's also things like loose skin that can become a genuinely disabling issue for some people. one of my formative childhood experiences was watching Kate Plus Eight and her showing what pregnancy did to her body and how many problems it gave her. it was genuinely very sad and I felt bad for her (even if Kate herself had abajillion problems and is a truly deplorable human being. the original Karen). the amount of extra skin she had was to such a point that it interfered with her ability to do basic things like exercise at all, do laundry, etc. basically any physical activity. I wanna say she was also getting yeast skin infections due to there being so many folds and creases that would trap sweat and moisture etc.. and obviously she's an extreme case, but even a standard pregnancy is going to change your body in some pretty dramatic ways.
one of the most infuratingly sanitized phrases in the English language is, imho, "the miracle of life". it's said as if it's some sort of wonder and awe about the fact that we can create new life. and to some degree, that's part of it, sure. but the other side of it is that human beings being able to survive childbirth is truly a miracle. we shouldn't be able survive that. that amount of physical bodily trauma? that doesn't seem survivable. the fact that we can and routinely do survive it, is a full fucking miracle. it doesn't make sense that we can be literally ripped apart from the inside and be (for the most part) fine. the amount of blood loss, too. obviously people do die but modern medicine is such a miracle itself
Since my niqab post has been going around (though thankfully slowing down), I was looking through my old photos and found the unedited photos of that one post. I do really like the way all the fabric looks, perhaps bcuz I'm someone who when I draw likes clothing folds.
even if bioessentialism was real and all trans women had some inherent advantage over cis women in sports you could not pay me to give a fuck because sports are made up. they are games people play for fun. even though we as a society invented careers around sport it is still boiled down to the fun made up game where you kick a ball. or dribble a ball. or swim in a pool. or show people how fast you can run. itâs for leisure. fun. not serious. who gives a fuck. fun. #mygameâœïžđđâŸïž
I feel like sports are also a mix of inherent bodily advantages and practice/work. Some people are physically going to be better at certain sports no matter what, some people are going to be better because they've put a lot of work into it. It's like banning tall people from basketball bc it's where they thrive
For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.
Happy pride month to her and her exclusively
she made a comic about the experience on twitter
happy pride
An Update from back in October I'm surprised wasn't added to this post. lol
#not to woke out on this fun post #but i do find it profoundly weird that it's normalized to react to a person harmlessly expressing sexual desire #for a character KNOWN to be widely considered attractive #with "you deserve violence and jail time for being horny haha. we should beat you with sticks" #like the underlying implications of the whole horny jail and related memes just feels too ominious for me to enjoy #like im glad she finds it funny. but why the fuck is it seen as normal to send a meme like that to a stranger? #"we said no horny" ON THE INTERNET??? ABOUT THE GIANT BIG TIDDY VAMPIRE LADY?????
You're not wrong and you should say it
I think before you're allowed to argue about whether trans people who can get pregnant are vulnerable to state-sanctioned violence in ways that trans people who can't get pregnant are exempt from (even if they are vulnerable to different forms of violence! they are still exempt from this one thing), you should be required to watch a vaginal delivery as well as a cesarean delivery. on video. full video. there are plenty of educational videos online where you can do so. if you have never seen a birth, I do not want to hear about how trivial of a violence you think it is. I really don't.
Also the permanent changes it can cause to your body.
Like yeah, body hair for transfems for some is INCREDIBLY dysphoria inducing. Now imagine if a transfem was banned from ever shaving anything ever, and was forced to have a beard and shag carpet of chest hair. Would make you wanna die right? Now imagine how trans guys who are dysphoric around their hips and waist and chest feel when they're forced to become *more* feminine looking and permanently unlike being able to shave. You can't shave off those changes.
Also I know itâs not the popular viewpoint, but stretch marks related to pregnancy are Also Permanent, for most people. I thought for the longest time that I was a bad person bc I didnât feel empowered by my âtiger stripesâ or my âbattle scarsâ or however cis people try to paint the physical signs your body carried a baby. I genuinely thought I was monstrous bc whenever I look at the stretch marks I specifically gained from pregnancy I experience plummeting, horrible feelings in my stomach. But like. Birth for me was traumatizing. It wasnât easy or magical or fun. I had an emergency c-section for my first child and thought I was going to die. Trauma + dysphoria + social shaming means this is the first time Iâm talking publicly about how it feels to have marks on my body that wonât ever go away unless I elect to have expensive surgery, and if I have that surgery I am immediately ostracized and painted as shallow for not being able to overcome my trauma/dysphoria bc âgirl powerâ or whatever (and no, saying âwell Iâm not a girlâ does not stop this behavior.)
Birth for people who can have it but are dysphoric about it, can be a permanent trauma on their body in so many ways. Itâs okay to acknowledge that and it doesnât make a person bad for feeling those things and it doesnât make us ungrateful when we do feel dysphoric over it.
(Obviously neither of you were saying that, but I have seen many who do and itâs always terrible when I do.)

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The myth that âmasculinity is always privileged over femininityâ has gone so far that people literally tell trans men âno one is stopping you from being a man or masculineâ to trans men/mascs like transphobia doesnât exist.
"We need more weird queers!" You can't handle actual queerness. The only queerness you can handle is heteronormative queerness of top and bottom same sex couples, strict binary trans people and Non-binary folks as a third gender. Don't even get me started how you can't handle anything above monogender, monosexual or monogamous. You can't handle arospec and acespec and any mixture of the two, especially aroallos. You can't handle intersex people just existing to be honest. Anything that challenges your shallow worldview of how things work is 'made up' or 'trying to win the oppression Olympics'.
You can't handle real queer people in the real queer world. If you said any of your shitty takes in real queer spaces nobody would trust you.
To you, being queer is just cishet+
ive been thinking about how some trans spaces and media lack representation of bottom surgery and itd be nice if we could talk about and depict it more. but my attempts to formulate this into a coherent thought lead me to standing in front of the microwave idly thinking "we should normalize men with penises" as if thats a brave new frontier nobody has ever considered.
I like this post. Because it shows that sometimes, what at the surface sounds like reinforcement of the norm, is actually necessary for a minority that's not included in the norm.
Y'all have seen this post, right?
It was a vaguepost of a trans man who complained about feeling pressure to be feminine. Yet people refer to it completely outside of queer context.
Only day you can rb this
This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far
'trans men haven't upheld their weight in the community at the same level that lesbians and trans women have' a lot of those lesbians were trans men and mascs but you're all not ready for that conversation
#a mixed Black transmasc woman very likely sparked the stonewall uprising (storme delarverie)#and yet somehow we never fucking hear about her! even when people talk abt the trans and Black origins of Stonewall!#& when it comes to feminist stuff as ive said before#transmascs often find inspiration in cis women in history who resisted misogyny#yet cis women REFUSE to ever find inspiration in transmascs who resisted misogyny and transphobia#have trans men failed to uphold their weight or can you not tolerate visible transmasculinity
actually adding my tags. ik op also talked about Stormé in the notes but like. i really do find it so frustrating how he has been completely neglected as a historical figure. to the point where there's a lot of people who will, when talking about the erasure of Black trans people from Stonewall history, will immediately jump to talking about Marsha P. Johnson (who, while a vital figure in US queer history who deserves the attention she has started to receive from the community, did not start the uprising and arrived to them later) and continue to credit her with "throwing the first shotglass." but they don't even know who Stormé is, despite again, it being at the very least equally if not more likely she was actually involved with sparking the uprising.
and its even more frustrating because part of the reason its likely isn't just Stormé's own recollection, but because there are other reports that the uprising was kicked off when the cops arrested, specifically, a person seen as female who was wearing male clothing and was being violently arrested for FTM crossdressing. FTM activists were trying to raise awareness about this in 1989. like people specifically saw (even if it wasn't Stormé) a butch dyke getting arrested explicitly for wearing too many men's clothes and not enough women's clothes.
and yet, no one ever. fucking talks about this. no one who specifically is trying to talk about the erasure of trans people from queer activism mentions this. and we should all be asking, ourselves and each other, why? a lot of people don't want to have this conversation because it asks a lot of us, but that's exactly why its so vital to have responsibly.
Stonewall is as much myth as it is historical event, especially at this point in time. and how we choose to narrate it matters, even though we (should) all know that we will never know the full exact story, nor do we need to because, again, much of its importance is serving as a grounded myth of the birth of organized queer resistance in the US. And the fact is, there is every reason for us to tell a version of this myth which highlights that the inciting moment for queer people being fucking done with the constant acts of violence, was a mixed Black transmasc woman, a drag king who identified as a transgender warrior in Leslie Feinberg's book of that name, being violently arrested for his transmasculine presentation.
and not only is that not the version we tell, there's often no trace of transmasculinity at all in how we remember Stonewall or any queer historical events. & op is so. so incredibly right in prompting people to critically examine that absence. because i do believe if Stormé was a femme lesbian, people would be a lot more invested in making sure people know about the lesbian woman who started Stonewall. almost like, on an unconscious collective level, we see transmasculine figures as undesirable when it comes to being community icons, martyrs, heroes, theorists, creatives, etc.
anyways, for those curious, here's Stormé's recollection of Stonewall, from this interview:
The conversation turned to the night in June of 1969 at the Stonewall Inn where she made history. Quite a few friends, writers and historians over the years have identified her as the tough cross-dressing butch lesbian who was clubbed by the NYPD, which evoked enough indignation and anger to spur the crowd to action. She was identified as the Stonewall Lesbian in Charles Kaiserâs book The Gay Metropolis, and her scuffle with the police has been mentioned a few times in passing by The New York Times in the past couple of decades. Then in the January 2008 issue of Curve Magazine she identified herself as the Stonewall Lesbian in a detailed interview with writer Patrick Hinds, an excerpt of which is below: I asked her if she still remembered that night. She answered in the affirmative. After the cop hit her on the head, she socked him with her fist. âI hit him,â she said. âHe was bleeding.â A natural protector, she has worked as a security guard at a few of the lesbian bars in the city. I spoke to her friend, Lisa Cannistraci, who has known her for around 25 years. Now one of the owners of lesbian bar Henrietta Hudson, Cannistraci said that DeLarverie worked as a security guard at the original Cubby Hole, located at 438 Hudson Street, starting in 1985. Cubby Hole eventually moved to the corner of West 4th and West 12th. Then Henrietta Hudson opened at the 438 Hudson Street location, and DeLarverie continued working there until 2005. âUntil she was 85 years old?â I asked her. Cannistraci said yes.
also, just to drive home the point, the community ignoring Stormé was not a harmless act. he developed dementia later in life and did not receive the support that she fucking deserved from the community:
In March, Farrell, who lived next door to DeLarverie at the Hotel Chelsea, found DeLarverie disoriented and, uncharacteristically, asking for help. DeLarverie was shaking and dehydrated, and she was taken to and treated at the nearby St. Vincentâs Hospital. No next of kin has been located, and she no domestic partner. Friends say that she had a long term relationship with an aerialist and burlesque performer, but that was âa long time ago.â With no one in her life legally able to make health care decisions, she was given a court appointed a guardian: the Jewish Association for Services for the Aged (âJASAâ). She remained at the hospital as doctors ascertained her ability to care for herself. When St. Vincentâs went bankrupt and closed abruptly, she was transferred to the nursing home. SAGE, an advocacy group for elderly members of the LGBT community, has also been offering assistance. Her friends say that communication with the aforementioned groups has been inadequate and a source of frustration, and they feel powerless to improve her situation. [...] DeLarverie continued emceeing and singing after Stonewall â at gay events and at benefits. Her friend Williamson Henderson, President of the S.V.A., told me that she hosted an annual gay nightlife event, The Gay Bar Peopleâs Ball, where all of the movers and shakers of NYC gay nightlife would congregate and receive awards. âIt was an event that was well known and a big deal,â he said. In Sam Bassettâs film, DeLarverie said that she continued to sing at benefits for battered women and children, remarking âSomebody has to care. People say, âWhy do you still do that?â I said, âItâs very simple. If people didnât care about me when I was growing up, with my mother being black, raised in the south.â I said, âI wouldnât be here.'â What does the future hold for DeLarverie? Cannistraci told me that she is currently in the process of petitioning for legal guardianship of DeLarverie and hopes to move her into a brighter, more modern nursing home with a larger staff and activities for the residents â and one where a friend of DeLarverieâs already resides. âShe was a protector of the community, and [her situation] is heartbreaking,â she said. [...] DeLarverieâs situation is, unfortunately, not unique, and it highlights some of the issues faced by gay and lesbian seniors. It is unclear whether DeLarverie has no surviving family members or whether she has surviving family members but simply lost touch with them over the years. Many elders become isolated from their families, either because of family disapproval or because they moved away from their families to a big city with a large gay and lesbian population, thereby becoming out of sight and out of mind. If they do end up in a retirement home or nursing home, there is also the issue of whether other residents will have a problem with their sexual orientation. Furthermore, in many states, same-sex partners cannot be legally bound, and if there is no next of kin, one can end up being a ward of the state. If the Rosa Parks of the gay community can end up in a nursing home among strangers like other forgotten elderly men and women, it is certainly a wake up call.
idk not to get on a soapbox here on op's post, but i think Stormé is such a good example of how this "lack" of transmasc contributions to the community is actually a sign of anti-transmasculinity. i want you to think about how Stormé's race and trans*masculinity made the labor she did for the community, for decades, invisible.
#Stormé DeLarverie#this genuinely makes me want to chew glass every time i think about it#like frankly if you don't know about /any trans men contributing to queer rights/ you should Not be bragging about it#bc it just means you do NOT know your history#are you a queer trans person with access to transition? you Better put respect on Lou Sullivan's name#or hell do you have Actual Access to Medical Transition At All ???#Jamison Green WROTE the policy that formed the groundwork for medical transition AND anti-discrimination policies across the US#i mean hell Gavin Grimm's court case aiming to officially classify bathroom bills as discriminatory was only 5 years ago#and he was a fucking /teenager/ when that ball started rolling#if you think trans men and transmascs are not and have not ALWAYS been involved in community activism#you are simply uneducated and you should be ashamed of that
^^^ all of this + Gavin Grimm not only did that, but he didn't benefit basically at all. he graduated before the case was decided, and he only got $1 from it. Gavin was left traumatized and poor and has since struggled with housing. And I personally have never heard his name mentioned in discussions of vital modern trans activists in the US. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Fuck, I've barely heard his name ever, and I'm a queer from the DMV (region in the northeast USA) who has been pretty involved in my local queer community, so there's really no excuse.
You can still donate to his GoFundMe if you'd like. From this article:
As Donald Trump rolled back LGBTQ+ rights, including banning trans servicemembers from the military and authorizing homeless shelters to exclude trans people, Grimm won repeated court victories. But his school district appealed. One court of appeals judge compared Grimm to the historic American plaintiffs who challenged slavery, Japanese concentration camps, segregation and bans on interracial and gay marriage. A 2020 ruling offered a âresounding yesâ in favor of the constitution and civil rights laws protecting trans students from discrimination. Grimm graduated before the case was resolved and never got to return to his schoolâs boysâ bathrooms. In 2021, the supreme court allowed Grimmâs victory to stand, and the school board was ordered to pay $1.3m in attorneyâs fees. Grimm, however, only got a symbolic $1. To secure damages, Grimm wouldâve had to give the oppositionâs lawyers access to his medical records to scrutinize the cause and extent of his emotional distress, a process he couldnât stomach after years of fighting. The idea heâd have to prove his anguish was unbelievable to his mom, who canât shake the memories of her son becoming suicidal. Grimm doesnât regret moving on without damages. But he desperately couldâve used financial help â especially as the trauma of his childhood began to catch up with him. [...]
happy pride! credit transmasculine people or shut the fuck up
while we're here, might as well add on that not only was the Stonewall Uprising likely kicked off by a transmasculine person resisting state violence because of their masculine presentation, but the transmasculine people & other queer (perceived-)women of the nearby Women's House of Detention rioted in solidarity:
"The House of D [was] 500 feet from the Stonewall Inn," Ryan says. "On the first night of the riots, people incarcerated in the prison could actually see what was happening out their windows, and they started a riot all their own, setting fire to their belongings and throwing them down to the streets below while chanting 'Gay rights! Gay rights! Gay rights!'" By the '50s and '60s, Ryan estimates, "around 75% of the people incarcerated in the House of D are queer in some way." In the 1960s, the prison began marking gay prisoners with a "D" for "degenerate," and placing them into solitary confinement because they were considered a "danger to other women."
credit transmasculine people or shut the fuck up.

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I'm sorry but when did we move away from "Access to hrt and surgery is a privilege" because we should probably move back to that one
It's because the term 'privilege' has many different definitions in different people's heads, so this statement is only sometimes true
"Privilege means something you are not owed, you must earn, and can be taken away at any time" - this statement is false
"Privilege means something you have gained from the oppression of others" - this statement is (most of the time) false
"Privilege means something you have, in contrast to those who don't have it and are therefore marginalized" - this statement is true
and because of how different people define it this tends to just make more drama and it can also lead to people saying that if it's a privilege, you should be able to take it away from trans people for whatever reason. So either we need to define 'privilege' a lot more in that phrase or just say that not having access to hrt and surgery is oppression
im not even on hrt yet, but the process is going much smoother than i thought, and i feel like a bad person that its been so easy for me so far đ„Č
it's actually a good thing that you're having an easier time. It doesn't make you a bad person, it means that you're in a position to benefit from something we should all a have available to us anyway