*snaps fingers like crab claws*

sphinx (wall hanging)

Have you ever had on your person a prescription drug for someone else? Held for them, brought to them, picked up for them? If it was on the controlled substance list, you opened yourself up to a felony.

Ever pulled your sibling’s hair? Gave them a nougie? Hit them, tripped them, grabbed something out of their hands? You could have been charged with domestic battery.

Did you play with fire as a kid? Most people do, at least a little. Hope it wasn’t in a place with grass, because burning grasses is a felony here.

Your parents leave you in the car while they went into the store? Felony child neglect, these days.

Ever had a pet die from something that made them lose a lot of weight? I had a client convicted of felony animal abuse resulting in death even though the only veterinarian witness testified he didn’t know what caused the animal’s death and did not do a necropsy.

Ever thrown something at a car? Empty soda bottle, snowball, water balloon? Felony missile at occupied vehicle.

People can be convicted of brandishing a firearm for having it in a holster. For concealed carry of a firearm if it’s on the other side of their body from an officer observing (and therefore “hidden”). Got a knife in your pocket or a brass knuckle keyring self defense device? That’s a concealed weapon.

Did you know that child protective services safety plans are sometimes taken out as protective orders? My client didn’t, when she went to try to buy a firearm to defend herself against an abusive ex. She was under a CPS protective order to not have the ex around her children. Charged with felony fraud in firearm affidavit: attempting to buy a gun while under a protective order.

Had a kid convicted of arson for burning some variant of nerf darts in his room and not even trying to set anything else on fire.

I have seen convictions and charges for everything on this list.

And always remember, almost half (45%) of people are in prison for probation or parole violations, huge swathes of that number for doing things that would be legal and fine for you and me but are not fine because they’re on probation.

That is in fact drug dealing. The defense to it is “accommodation” — as in, I was accommodating someone, not dealing for profit — and accommodation, uh, slightly reduces how bad of a felony it is and does nothing else.

The person who is accommodated also has committed felony possession of controlled substance.

I had a student get arrested and incarcerated for months because his probation officer found a bag of thc candy in his room. We're in California; he shares a room with an older brother. Everyone in that house uses marijuana. And now this kid is shouldering all the blame and guilt for that.

I had a student get arrested for talking back and being 'disrespectful' to his probation officer. An angry, traumatized teenager shouted at his P.O. and the result was him getting hauled away from school in cuffs.

Two students at my school got into a mutual fight - no one was injured. One was on probation and one wasn't. The one not on probation was suspended for a couple of days, and when he returned he's enrolled in our anger managment group. The one on probation was hauled away in cuffs and now he will spend Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas in juvenile hall.