Getting some new followers recently so I'm gonna make a pinned post
my masterpost of transmasc theory
it/its pronouns, no they/them
Late twenties
Not from the USA
Will very occasionally post NSFW (mostly art or artistic NSFW, no actual porn), follow at own risk
I'm bad at tagging most things, sorry in advance but I try my best and if you'd like something specific tagged please let me know.
I am autistic and have ADHD. Please do not tone police me or ascribe intentions to my words that aren't there. Sometimes I'm quite verbose and if this is an accessibility issue let me know and I will try to be more concise or use more plain/simple language.
This used to be an aesthetic side blog but now I mainly use it to vent and add my 2 cents on topics that I feel I can personally speak on due to my own experiences, mostly anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, and other transmasc issues.
As an addendum to this: I'm fucking exhausted from trying to have good faith discussions with people who refuse to listen and refuse to try to understand, and will paint me as aggressive or condescending for straightforward explanations and questions. I'm no longer engaging in these discussions in any serious manner. If you see me posting in the tags or in someone's replies it's because I'm fed up with this shit. A while ago I said transmascs have got to get meaner so I am. Fuck transphobes.
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every single time i look at a transandrobro it's been a non hrt femme. no wonder they feel the need to say theyre oppressed for their gender they don't even live life as men
When I was about 15 I finally convinced my parents to let me go to therapy.
I was vaguely openly queer, as in, I hadn't told my parents I was trans yet but I had an online girlfriend when I was 14 that they knew about, I was publicly identifying as pan, and was involved in my high school GSA, etc. and I needed a private space outside of school and the internet where I could process my traumas while being out as trans. As such it was really important to me that I had a queer or queer friendly therapist. Now that was hard to come by in Indiana even in the 2010's (especially bc a lot of the ones advertised were covert conversion therapists) but we did finally find one that took our insurance. A middle aged, married cis lesbian, who advertised as having experience with trans clients*.
I didn't know this until my early 20's when my mom and I were reconciling her poor reaction to my eventual public coming out as trans at 18, but my therapist was very convinced that I was not trans when I came out to her. She shared the fact that I told her I was trans to my parents and explicitly told all four of them she doubted me in her sessions with them about me.
I'm thinking about this all because the anniversary of my dad's passing was recently and I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my conflicting feelings about the ways he treated me as a teen (that was part of why I was in therapy, and why my parents were having sessions with my therapist without me). Then the memory of a day where he took me to Barnes & Noble and made me pick out several fashion magazines because "he thought I needed to be more feminine" came to mind and it clicked.
My therapist probably told him to do that.
It always struck me as very odd that my dad did that because while he was always kind of a "girl dad" with me growing up, he was also the first parent to fully embrace me when I publicly came out and never had any issue with my general lack of femininity when I was younger - in fact he often encouraged it and was very progressive about my upbringing... Until I started seeing my therapist and suddenly he was very concerned about me being a young woman and not being "feminine enough".
If that isn't a perfect example of transandrophobia, anti-trans masculinity, the gendered correction young people perceived as young women experience when exploring our genders/gender expression, and the private violence cis queer adults in positions of power can inflict on trans youth - particularly that adult cis women can inflict upon trans masculine youth, I don't know what is.
*It turned out, her only experience with a trans client was someone who had previously identified as a trans woman and was detransitioning. She told me this in one of our last sessions. First what a violation of her ethics as a therapist to tell me about that person and second, of course she would lie about having all of this experience treating trans people and then go on to convince my parents I wasn't trans - genuinely leading to serious trauma with my mom that didn't fully heal until a few years ago!!
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I think this is a lesson that applies in pretty much any kind of debate, but I feel the need to say it to people here because people fall for ragebaits and trolls waaay too easily. You need to stop engaging with people who do not actually want to talk to you, and instead just want to yell at you without attempting to have a respectful disagreement.
Non-transmascs and non-trans men, full stop, do not get to have an opinion on whether or not transandrophobia/transmisandry/anti-transmasculinity is real. Stop giving them reasons and sources as to "why" it is. If they were actually interested to know, they would have found the evidence for it already, but they are actively choosing not to because they want to remain ignorant to our realities so their hatred of transmascs and trans men seems justified. That, or--of course--they think our abuse is actually completely fine because they're sadists who feed off of our pain.
Trans women and non-transmasc nonbinary people are not capable of judging how we talk about our own experiences because they still don't know what it's specifically like to be us, and cis people ESPECIALLY do not get to have an opinion. Stop giving people the privilege of your attention when they just want to vent their hatred on men on you.
also the thing about "we need to focus on the people most vulnerable, and transmascs may be vulnerable but not more than trans women!" is that it doesn't consider transmasc erasure as an active force.
its a take from the perspective that trans men are "vulnerable" is some vague abstract generalized way, not in a way which would behoove anyone to adjust their behavior or take action on their behalf. its the erasure of erasure; the assumption is that trans men probably have enough resources and support anyways, which could not be farther from the truth. some local communities may have more transmasc-focused resources, but many others do not. transmasculine people are left out of vital conversations, are excluded from vital resources, are ignored and forgotten when they are abused and killed.
it treats transmasc erasure as something which is passive in itself and which can be solved passively. which is erasure itself in action. i do not really give a fuck about "who has it worse," it is not about that. it is about the fact that if YOU do not make an ACTIVE EFFORT to advocate for transmascs, to make transmasc suffering and oppression visible and legible, it will not happen. it simply will not happen.
erasure is an active force. we all internalize transmasculine erasure and we can all easily contribute to it; we are expected to contribute to it. trans men&mascs cannot afford the model of "well we only need to raise awareness for the most vulnerable" because our vulnerability is defined by being ignored.
this is why unlearning anti transmasculinity has to start from (un)learning erasure. once you start to see it as an active force/tool of the patriarchy you realize it is the lynchpin that holds so much (especially intercommunity) anti-transmasculinity together. transmaculine absence is so normalized people experience our presence as an intrusion, and people genuinely do not understand why we would ever need to be more visible than we are. it is fucking everywhere.
its really interesting how transandrophobic trfs will post shit like "trans men need to kill themselves" and "trans men deserve to be raped and murdered" and then tag them with #trans man and #transandrophobia, specifically so trans men will see violenr rhetoric against us just by following those tags, while we cant even use the #transmisogyny tag when we're talking about transmisogyny or even follow it because then we'll be harrassed by trfs and will have that violent rhetoric on our dashes. like its almost like this isnt "infighting" but is a hate group and victims of a hate group or something
i just blocked someone today who had been posting horrible vile transandrophobic shit like ""trans men are at the highest risk of sexual assault in the community" yeah as the perpetrators" and other shit under the #transandrophobia #transmisandry tags like. yall see what i mean? and theres more whove done it. its almost like this isnt "infighting" but is a hate group and victims of a hate group or something
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there seems to be this really specific notion i keep seeing from trans people who are vehemently against trans men talking about how we are as equally oppressed as trans women, this idea that we are intolerant to facing our own privileges? like we canât sit with this idea we benefit from bad systems?Â
but. thatâs really never been one of my problems. i can point to moments throughout my entire life where i benefitted because of a privilege i have or currently held at the time, i can explain the mechanisms, how it would be different for another in my shoes, and i let those mental exercises push me to be more empathetic and compassionate, and dedicated to paying attention to where i have power so i can use it to benefit the people who donât. that is simply step one i fear, iâve been practicing this since i was fifteen. itâs been twelve years of me doing that often enough to be a normal sort of thought pattern for me. in fact itâs concerning me a little that this is being considered a challenging thing that would be hard to do? i thought this was the basement floor of giving a shit about other people iâm not gonna lie.
the issue here is, i have found absolutely no privileges whatsoever related to my sex or gender. being what i am on this level has not eased a single thing for me, i have not had gender nor sex oppression pass over my house and swoop through the windows of a trans woman, it came through my windows too. from my earliest recollections i was being negatively impacted on a social and structural level by misogyny and sexism, due to socially being a little girl who did not yet understand he wasnât like other boys.Â
it is not like my ability to walk. or my being white passing. itâs not like having a roof over my head, and food in my fridge. and itâs certainly not like living in a country that isnât being bombed. there is no facet of misogyny i have been exempt from. i know my privileges, and no part of me shies away from sitting in the reality of them. and there is no goddamn benefit to be found here, the angel of death does not recognize the blood on my house, and it has come in whether or not i call myself a man or say i am a different kind of transgender than trans women are. itâs done nothing to protect me.
to put it simply. i will not admit to privileges i do not have to make other people comfortable in their own understandings of things at the cost of my own needs and the needs of my brothers.
This viewpoint of invisibility as a privilege is a display of one function of antitransmasculinity that rewards people for upholding the idea that most transmasculine people are white, cis-passing, hyper masculine, educated and able-bodied, as these are the only configurations of a transmasculine person that would receive an invisibility that would be more rewarding than it would be isolating and suffocating. [...]
Invisibility as a term for this dynamic is a fallacy in and of itself as what transmasculine people are suffering from is not invisibility, which suggests accident, but is instead deliberate erasure. Trans men, transmasculine people and transmasculinities have historically been intentionally erased (through not just expunging records but by creating new records entirely) explicitly so that violence against this marginalized group can continue to be ignored.
This ignorance creates a dynamic where transmasculine people who actually do rise to any level of power are then made hypervisible (cough, buck angel, cough) and the general perception of a transmasculine person remains an image of a privileged, white, cis passing transsexual, who âacknowledges biological realityâ, who has lived flawlessly as a man 6 months into t or instead an impressionable young (white) girl who has been infected by a social contagion.
This cycle of highlighting only a few different stereotypes of trans man / transmasculine person further contributes to the erasure and harm done to trans men and transmasculine people who do not fit into those very niche groups that attain all the visibility and are said to represent the entire demographic. This deliberate erasure of the actual majority of trans men and transmasculine people exists primarily so that violence can continue to be enacted against them behind closed doors. It is so often not only transmasculine people themselves that are made invisible, but rather it is anti-transmasc violence, including militant state violence, interpersonal violence and a medical + psychiatric violence, which makes transmasculine people, through a process of essentialization, aggressors without aggression and victims without words.
from "Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure: Antitransmasculinity as erasure" by S.L Void
It is worth noting how members of the community use performance to work within the system to transgress and expand even the categories that are most often delimited and policed. Moreover, as I have suggested, many Ballroom membersâ gender and sexual identities within the system are different from what they live in the outside world. Paradoxically, in The Aggressives, Tiffany identifies as a faggotâa Butch Queenâwho has heterosexual sex with transgender women or those who are âfemale appearing.â She is not attracted to male-bodied men, male-appearing females, or masculine women. Tiffany is represented as a Butch in the film, yet the activities in which she participates in the Ballroom scene are more associated with Butch Queens. She is shown commentating at balls and doing street outreach for HIV/AIDS prevention in the scene. These activities are typical of those undertaken by and associated with Butch Queens in the Ballroom scene.
A slight variation on this example would be Onyx, a Butch, who suggested that his gender and sexual identities are based on his current romantic relationship: âI usually just say Iâm queer, but I identify depending on who Iâm with. Itâs emotionally safer and easier to identify as a Black gay man.â Nevertheless, Onyxâs partner, when I spoke with him, was a female-bodied woman who was, according to Onyx, âattracted to boys.â She, too, identified as queer. In the Ballroom scene, Onyx is a Butch, but it is worth noting that he said that emotionally, in the outside world, it is easier to identify as a gay man. Yet he is not considered a Butch Queen in the Ballroom scene, and it is safe to assume that he can freely identify as a Butch.
from Butch Queens Up in Pumps: Gender, Performance, and Ballroom Culture in Detroit by Marlon M. Bailey (2013)
further examples of how being opposed to "contradictory" queer identities is born from racism btw.
also the terms "Butch" and "Butch Queen" refer to gender/sexuality/performance categories within the Ballroom subculture; "Butch" refers to trans men, transmasculine people, and masculine women regardless of sexuality, and "Butch Queen" refers to queer cis men regardless of gender presentation. gonna pop the full list of all 6 gender categories below:
As noted at the outset of this section, the gender system in Ballroom culture consists of six categories, which I list here again with brief descriptions:
1. Butch Queens Up in Drag (gay men who perform in drag but do not take hormones and do not live as women).
2. Femme Queens (transgender women or MTF at various stages of gender transition involving hormonal or surgical processes, such as breast implants).
3. Butches (transgender men or FTM at various stages of gender transition involving hormonal therapy, breast wrapping or removal, and so on or masculine lesbians or females appearing as men irrespective of their sexuality).
4. Women (biological females who live as women and are lesbian, straight identified, or queer).
5. Men/Trade (biological males who live as men, are very masculine, and are straight identified or non gay-identified).
6. Butch Queens (biological males who live and identify as gay or bisexual men and are or can be masculine, hyper-masculine (as in thug masculinity), or very feminine.
The term gender system is something of a misnomer. Again, it is not about gender only; it is also always about sexuality, which is expressed in either implicit or explicit terms.
Putting dividers in bus benches can make waiting for a bus physically painful for larger people. Removing places to sit by adding spikes to them makes public spaces less accessible for everyone.
Yet despite all that, the primary focus of these things is animus towards unhoused people.
Okay so I think I get it, and I want to reiterate what I think this means so I can hopefully make it clearer for others/be corrected if I'm wrong, but:
Basically, this is an analogy where the idea of hostile architecture which causes public spaces to be less accessible to the homeless is used as a parallel for general transphobia being the driving force behind a lot of social hostility towards trans folk, tma or tme notwithstanding. However, the fact that certain types of hostile architecture makes benches inaccessible to larger people specifically is the 1:1 with how certain types of transphobia are specifically geared towards making trans women/tma folks the target without really being the "intended" recipient of such hostility--its just that the type of transphobia that gets proliferated (or the type of anti-homeless architecture that gets built) just so happens to be the most harmful to tmas (people who take up more space on a bench) because it's assumed that those types of people just don't belong/need to be allowed to exist in the space
Genuine question, how tf does tme and tma work with intersex people, especially forms that show just how bullshit a sex binary is, and systems? Do all u need is a single transfem alter to front once and then boom ur forever TMA?
Like how is it not another binary that you can ask to figure out the genitals someone was born with? At least with people who are openly trans
That's the fun part! It doesn't! I've seen them claim afab enbies are TME, afab intersex folks are TME, intersex people who identify as trans men are TME, intersex people who identify as trans women are TME, intersex enbies are TME.
According to them, the only people who can possibly experience an intersection between transphobia and misogyny are trans women, amab enbies, and cis men. Because apparently the TME is held in the XX chromosomes or some shit.
Itâs easy to make a position sound bad when you outright lie about it.
Cis men are not TMA. Cis men, like all cis people, are TME.
Being TMA is about oneâs societally imposed gender and their relationship to it. TME is anything outside of being TMA.
Being TMA is when society expects and forces you into the male gender role, when that is not who you truly are.
An AFAB intersex person who undergoes an unwanted male puberty? Their parents, doctors, and the medical system is set up to âcorrectâ them back to their AGAB, making them TME. This person may have a better understanding of what TMA people go through, and can face transmisogyny on an interpersonal level, but they crucially does not the experience of systemic transmisogyny.
An AMAB intersex person who doesnât realize it until they start growing breasts at 13, and wants to keep them? Their parents and doctors would be very lately to pressure that person into top surgery to remove them, even though itâs not what they want. This person would be TMA because they are being forced into the âmaleâ box of society in spite of their wishes.
A cis drag performer can present as female on the stage, but when they are done, they take off the makeup and wig, and present to the world as a cisgender man. Yes heâll likely face interpersonal transmisogyny, but he does not face the full brunt of systemic and societal transmisogyny.
hey theres a lot to unpack here and a lot of other posts in this thread worth addressing but imma cut in here right here to talk about this racist bullshit
drag came from ballroom culture trans communities used to be incredibly race segregated and drag queens and drag kings were the terms genderqueer bipoc used for themselves it is not only inaccurate to say that drag performers can take off their makeup and wig and face no systemic societal transmisogyny as there are countless laws passed specifically targeting drag performers and "well if drag just didnt exist it wouldnt be a problem" is a wild thing to say about an entire art form and one no one would dare to suggest about similar art forms like comedy or theatre but it also deeply ahistoric and spits directly in the face of the black and hispanic drag queens who we directly have to thank for the stonewall riots like sylvia rivera miss major and marsha p johnson
and you said that shit during fucking pride month
you can say "oh those were trans drag performers" but they werent allowed that term they were explicitly told that community wasnt for them AND there actually functionally is no difference in the argument that "they could take off the wig and makeup at the end of the day" whether they are trans or cis because they are not judged by society by their internal sense of identity but by their actions and expression a trans drag artist can still take off their makeup and wig at the end of the day and it makes them no less trans
these women werent targeted because of who they are internally the cops couldnt give a shit about that they were targeted because of what they wore like very literally because of the three articles of clothing law and marsha "pay it no mind" johnson very explicitly didnt tell people whether or not she was trans sylvia and miss major both later in life identified that way but marsha never got that chance because she was killed and her murder was covered up by the cops thats why we remember her every fucking year
"drag performers can take the makeup and wig off at the end of the day" tell me how this functionally as an argument is in any way different from "tims arent oppressed if they stopped pretending to be women no one would bother them" i dont actually care about what internal qualifier you spin on that a thing you cannot know or ascertain based on another persons actions the argument full stop is "well if they just stayed in the closet they wouldnt have any issues"
and it sure is funny that so many people are willing to say such ridiculously vile things about drag culture that they would never so boldly say about white transfems
This is intertransmisogyny (directed at what OP said, not who I am reblogging from). And also, the argument of intersex people being TMA or TME falls apart with my life experiences. I am an intersex trans woman. I was raised as a boy for the first 13-ish years of my life, but from age 5 until age 15 I was on forced hormone therapy to try and assimilate me into pericis masculine norms. However, upon my body not letting up and me still having a higher voice and not having much muscle mass and otherwise being more physical feminine, I was then shoved hard in the opposite direction to try and be as feminine as possible and treated like I was supposed to be a cis girl and no room for masculinity was allowed. I was forced into skirts and dresses and made to do makeup that I didn't want, and yet, even when I am an intersex person who was forced to be feminine after masculinizing me failed, I am still transmisogynized. I am an intentended target of transmisogyny even as I reclaim my masculinity as live as a butch trans woman and I have other headmates who are other various genders such as transmasc, non-binary, agender, genderfluid, and a feminine trans woman. I encompass a lot of genders but am a transmisogynized woman who was forced into femininity and am still pressured to be feminine by my parents and doctors. This is why the labels of TMA and TME are ultimately useless, since when people hear about someone who was raised as a boy but had a weak puberty that still left them androgynous and un-masculinized and afterwards they were pressured to be as much of a feminine woman as possible and also that they have a vagina and ambiguous genitalia, they would generally relegate that person to being TME. However, I was bullied as any other trans woman would be throughout school and called all the slurs like tranny, shemale, troon, and all the other terms like femboy and wannabe-female. I am treated at a whim by superiors who confront me as male or female depending on what suits them better. I am transmisogynized. That binary mode of trying to class people based on their bodies and what you think society will do when it doesn't always go that way just doesn't work. Rather than tell other people that they are TMA or TME based on little evidence from what you hear from their personal lives, leave it up to the individual to decide if they are transmisogynized or not or whether they experience transmisogyny even if it isn't to the extent that you do. I don't think it will be an issue as, to date, I have never met a perisex trans man or perisex cis woman who claims to experience just as much transmisogyny as trans women do, be they intersex or perisex.
its also just not a useful way to discuss oppression as a class because it is ultimately a very limiting and flattening way to discuss transmisogyny as only primarily affecting x group when marginalized groups get a lot more out of discussing oppression in the ways it intersects with other axes of oppression and how it affects not just a class but a community as a whole even outside of how intentionally exclusionary so many conversations around it become within this narrow framework (a much larger issue that shouldnt be disregarded) its a bad framework to discuss transmisogyny as if it is the be all end all of trans oppression and not simply a piece in the puzzle especially in so far that it actively disincentivizes people to discuss their actual real lived experiences regarding oppression on the basis of ones gender or sex being non normative and erases the experiences of people who do speak out but whose experiences dont neatly fit into this rigid framework
a social framework for understanding oppression should fit itself around how that oppression is experienced and not instead insist that any experiences that exist outside of the framework are irrelevant or straight up lies
and at the end of the day when we discuss trans people and those affected by transmisogyny that should include ALL trans people
transgender people transsexuals transvestites intersex people nonbinary people neutrois androgyne crossdressers multigender folks genderfluid folks drag royalty and even people who radically do not conform to gender such as femboys and butch women all of our struggles are one and our struggles spread outwards like butter affecting people at all different levels and it makes no sense to just discuss the pad of butter at the center its a very plainly myopic view on the matter
Funny enough I have had people tell me that intersex people are TMA, and that intersex people are TME, with pretty much zero consistency on why that might be. When discussing the bigotry that goes into accusing cisgender perisex women of color like Khalif or Obama of being trans women- including entire governing bodies punishing them for this accusation and drafting rules to exclude them even if no evidence of being transgender is found- or even discussing intersex women of color who were unaware of their variation such as Semenya - I was told within the same discussion that these women both counted as TMA and also TME depending on the specific person talking about them.
When talking about my own intersex experience and how my pre-op pre-HRT body looked quite similar to many trans women mid-transition, which I was punished for by my peers and family, I received harassment from terfs who clearly had decided that I'm a trans woman, while also being called TME.
Even the homeless analogy falls apart when you remember that those who are next most affected by anti-homeless architecture and anti-homeless bias are A: disabled (50-60% of homeless people in this country), B: queer (40%), and of color (40-50%). These structures are very much deliberately hostile to the widest possible margin, meaning that of *course* a disabled person who is not homeless is going to be strongly negatively impacted by any hostile decision regarding homelessness, as they fall under the same net. Not having a bench in the park means both that you don't have any icky homeless people sleeping there and also that you don't have any icky disabled people taking a short rest there either.
You can't be exempt from a system deliberately designed to hurt you đ¤ˇââď¸ the problem people have with this is not acknowledging that the bigotry exists, it's that they themselves are also being targeted by the same bigotry in the same breath they're being told they're exempt from it. "The removal of park benches is about homelessness, not disability" ok well it still means my cardiac disability and mobility disability ass can't go there, so I'm just as affected by this decision as the homeless guy who just wants a safe place to sleep, and the people who made that decision are just as ableist as they are classist, so...
Yeah I've come to the conclusion that if someone's response to "this transmasc person was a target of a harassment campaign and now their blog is gone" is "maybe they just deleted", then that person is engaging in bad faith & has clear anti-transmasc biases that need to be unpacked, whether intentional or not. It's a denial of the harassment we recieve and an attempt at erasing our issues.
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Truly tired of constantly feeling like I'm fighting for my life every time I try to be proactive about communication and constantly asking for clarification instead of just assuming what someone means because far too often I've assumed wrong because there's something I just Didn't Get. Only to be called hostile and emotional over and over again for saying "I don't understand what you mean. What do you mean? What is your reasoning behind saying this?"
Then I call out the ableism and it's all "wow you're overreacting here how is that ableist" christ almighty
Yeah if you can't hold grace for someone who is trying their best to communicate with you and put intentions onto them that they never said or did, that is ableist. Calling someone hostile for not communicating with you in a way that makes you feel fuzzy inside and rolling over and being a good little girl boy is bullshit actually and I'm sick of not being believed when I fucking stand up for myself.
I'm almost never upset or angry or annoyed at the time this happens. But then I think about it a bit more and I go huh. This person really just weaponised both ableism and anti-transmasculinity against me just to shut me up for asking them a question that could potentially reveal their somewhat unsavoury behaviour. Because people rarely like to answer the question "what do you mean" when the answer makes them look like an asshole.
Truly tired of constantly feeling like I'm fighting for my life every time I try to be proactive about communication and constantly asking for clarification instead of just assuming what someone means because far too often I've assumed wrong because there's something I just Didn't Get. Only to be called hostile and emotional over and over again for saying "I don't understand what you mean. What do you mean? What is your reasoning behind saying this?"
Then I call out the ableism and it's all "wow you're overreacting here how is that ableist" christ almighty
Yeah if you can't hold grace for someone who is trying their best to communicate with you and put intentions onto them that they never said or did, that is ableist. Calling someone hostile for not communicating with you in a way that makes you feel fuzzy inside and rolling over and being a good little girl boy is bullshit actually and I'm sick of not being believed when I fucking stand up for myself.
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