Rocky chasing Grace’s ship reminded me of someone keeping pace with and cornering a stray cat to throw a blanket on and take home.
Just picturing him like “oh, oh no come on back little buddy! I want not hurt you statement. Here, just a small bit closer. I have cookies for the good alien! I can make small toy doll of you! Psst psst psst!”
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…okay so what if the problem with the taomeba never happened on the way back home. What if the radiation never got onto the Blip-A. What if Rocky ended up back on Erid, and Grace made it back to Earth. What if they missed each other desperately forever.
What if Grace made a lopsided crochet Rocky and cuddled it every night.
What if Rocky couldn’t stop making xenonite puppets of his alien friend.
What if I made myself cry, what about that? Huh? What then?
Grace and Rocky, giving a tour of the Hail Mary to fascinated Eridian scientists and diplomats.
Pointing at things and explaining what they are and how the ship works, lots of awed and appreciative noises are made.
Until one of the visiting Eridians points out a specific item. “And that?”
It’s a strange, circular thing, a xenonite disk mounted upright on some sort of pivot so it can spin freely, but around the edges it has… spokes? Pegs? Sticking out of it, that hit against a stiff flap that would slow down the spinning.
It is also separated into sections decorated with crude etchings of a human and an Eridian.
“Ah,” Grace says.
“That,” Rocky says.
“That’s. Um.” Grace seems somewhat embarrassed. “That’s the sacrifice wheel.”
The Eridian visitors clearly do not know what to make of that. “We think we misunderstood Savior Grace’s word,” they say, apparently hoping this is a vocabulary mix-up. “Explain (question, polite)?”
“Didn’t misunderstand,” says Rocky, sounding very sheepish. “That is sacrifice wheel.”
“So. While we were on our way to Erid, we might have gotten… anxious about each other’s well-being,” Grace says, which everyone is already very aware is a wild understatement. “And, well, you heard what happened at Tau Ceti, and after. There were a lot of unexpected dangers for the whole trip that required a lot of, at least, attempted self-sacrifice to solve. We ended up almost dying for each other several times. And we had an argument about what we’d do if another crisis like that came up. And we couldn't agree.”
“Grace argued that Grace already was unlikely to survive long-term on Erid, so he should be the one to do any potential deadly but necessary maneuvers to make sure I was able to bring taumoeba back,” Rocky says.
“Which made sense.”
“Did not make sense! Grace already sacrificed so much for me and for Erid, wouldn’t be fair to make you do it again—“ Rocky cuts himself off with a huff. They have obviously had this conversation before. “So sacrifice wheel was compromise.”
“Yeah,” Grace says. He spins it to demonstrate; it whirls around in a blur and a rattle of the flap hitting the pegs, then eventually slows down, and stops—pointing at the segment depicting a very bad but very clear image of an Eridian. “Rocky made the wheel, I spin the wheel, and whoever it lands on, that’s who gets to sacrifice themself to save the other and the other person does not get to argue. This way, we wouldn’t waste time debating who does the self-sacrifice and who survives, it’s just a plain fifty-fifty chance. Or, eighteen-eighteen chance in base six. But the point is it could be either of us and we would have to accept the outcome.”
Rocky started fidgeting while Grace was explaining. When Grace finishes, proud of the equitable solution they came up with to allow them to die for each other fairly, Rocky says, “Now that we are back and we don’t need sacrifice wheel anymore… I have confession to make. About the wheel.”
“What about the wheel?”
Rocky doesn’t answer. Grace frowns, first confused, then suspicious, and spins the wheel again.
It lands on Rocky again.
He spins the wheel again, and again, and again, and it lands on Rocky every single time.
“Rocky!”
“I weighted the wheel,” Rocky admits.
“Rocky the whole point was that it was equal, that was why we even made it—“
“Never was necessary so doesn’t matter anymore!”
“But you WOULD have!”
“And you never noticed because you were hungry and cranky and distracted and so would have done bad job on heroic self-sacrifice anyway!”
“I would not! I would have done fine!”
(The Eridian scientists and diplomats are still here watching this btw. Slowly dawning on them that 1) these two are extremely not normal about each other 2) if Erid ever does another space mission they NEED to send a therapist aboard because this is what happens when they don’t)
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So this comic made me laugh - hah, Ryland had a coma dream of himselfas Ken in the Barbie movie, whose job is Beach, haha - but then I got to thinking about this coma dream of his...
I might be committing to the bit, at least for a fun flight of fancy. There are gifs below.
Some background first: I really liked the Barbie movie, so this doesn't really affect my view of that movie. With that said, not only do I love the idea of Grace dreaming of himself as Ken, I think dreams can go a lot further than that. For this diversion, I'm imagining Barbie as a movie that Grace saw on earth before PHM begins, only in this dream:
1. He imagines himself as Ken, obviously. His job is beach! Also, he does not wear glasses correctly.
2. Ryland is fandom's current favorite aroace, but also maybe feeling a way about gender, too. In his dream, he is also Barbie.
Look at this leaky future space blob:
Plus:
Irrepressable thoughts of death? That's Grace, baby!
Allan is also Grace, no explanation needed:
But not everyone is Grace, others show up, too, including:
Commander Yao (for competency reasons)
Ilyukhina:
Stratt:
Also Stratt:
Carl:
Sasha and her friends are Mr. Grace's students:
And I thought about this, and I think the Mattel guys are all Astrophage itself. I've reached the limit for photos, but look up Will Ferrell in this movie and tell me how tie couldn't be a Petrova line. They're powerful, destructive, and ruining Grace's life, but also a catalyst for change.
...Rocky is Weird Barbie, because there are no rules in coma dreams. I blame @slipperyliz for this realization.
I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.
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