Dream a little bigger

does anyone know how to go to sleep

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

ooh I got pliny of elder

Random stinging pain in my neck 👀

atacked by my #MindWasp

Can you put those things on a leash please

Yeah. a really Long one so they can still get u tho

grug hate two factor authentication. first grug have to remember password. then grug have to point out which cave painting has birds. now they want grug to hunt and gather new thing called numbers. grug won’t do it grug miss the bird paintings grug was getting pretty good at birds.

When cats put their whole body into making a sound. Only to be squeak.

no more media analysis until we agree that all art is a sublimation of the desire to ritually sacrifice the king. yeah all of it. yeah even cars 2 and stuff

the writers thinly-disguised [sublimation of the desire to ritually sacrifice the king]

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

A cinematic masterpiece.

I CANNOT stress enough that in the Spy Kids films, Danny Trejo is literally playing his titular character from the Machete movies, who happens to be the kids’ uncle, because the movies have the same director

what this reply misses is that Machete originated *in* Spy Kids. the Machete movies are Spy Kids spinoffs

I think it’s important to make clear that Robert Rodriguez, the director, says that Spy Kids and Machete are alternate universe versions of each other , while Danny Trejo, the actor, says that what happens in Machete is just what he does when he’s not hanging out with the kids

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

This is painfully American

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

if i made a video game where you get to pick the gender of the player character i'd make both the options be nonbinary and you can either have they/them or it/its pronouns. those are your only options