look… @number1goat - Tumblr Blog

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

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sluttynurse

imagine if public transit ran 24/7........ in my beautiful world

retroactivebakeries

the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.

madeofklay

What I learned not to do in art school

unashamedly-enthusiastic

Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

-

Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose

-

Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"

-

Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

-

Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is

I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself

dungeon-moss

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hometoursandotherstuff

It was painted in 2012… Siesta by Arthur Berzinsh. But, he had a vision and he did it in Renaissance style.

nalivaa

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

lelouch

they couldn't put him in the beer campaign so he was represented by a bunch of berries

dozydawn

cat’s eye emerald

athena-cat-wizard-official

advil (ibuprofen) 200mg liquid capsule

glacecakes

red-garden

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

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cheshire-creeper

get yourself a band that knows the power of horns and brass instruments, that's my recommendation at least

only-tiktoks

blattaro-moved

approachingperfection1984

dogwoodbite

[TEXT: Poem "I'm Sorry I'm Running Late I'll Be There in a Few Minutes" by Nora Rose Tomas.

"the subway door closed / on my leg last night and / now I have this huge bruise / down my thigh probably / five or six inches purple / and red the girl I'm sleeping / with keeps sending me pictures / of this white pigeon / she says she thinks the pigeon / is following her and she gets upset / when I say it is probably a different bird / each time

I understand that feeling though / like something is narrowing in on you / going through the day as if you have just / escaped tragedy / it is temping to imagine / a universe that / is putting in the effort to haunt you"

/End Text]

distractionsfromthefood

wiliecoyotegenius

vice dot com I do not think that's legal

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alagaisia

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

alagaisia

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

alagaisia

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

watermelon-converse

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

emi--rose

Hell yeah moon holiday

hello-delicious-tea

Ooh coming up we should celebrate

ariaste

PITCH: We call it Moon Day, and then every 7 years when it falls on a Monday, that's an even BIGGER deal and we call that Moon Day Monday and go absolutely apeshit about it (the next Moon Day Monday is in 2026 so we have a couple trial runs first)