i bite at the hand that feeds me

every 4th of july I think about the american tourist who was like oh thank god you’re open I wasn’t sure if you’d be open today and I was like why wouldn’t we be and he said because of the holiday. in norway.

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

cmon man, think like a , think like a chuuud, act like a woke *trying to corral a medium sized brown mammal into the corner*

seeing happy people posting on tumblr like shut up. take your ass to instagram.

wedding officiated by adam sandler kind of is gaylor fodder because why would you do that if you aren’t planning to divorce. Adam Sandler???

okay, im "sorry" i tested my dual scythe combos/fever mode on your "smol bean" boyfriend

i think understanding the family as a system of ownership over both women and children will lead you to understand both misogyny and the oppression of children a lot better and also be able to draw informative parallels between both