I Think I'm Funny

Thank you for the clarification

I was told that I’d get used to not having a headphone jack. I still want a fucking headphone jack. I hate that phones don’t have them. It’s stupid and awful and I hate it

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

It just keeps going

Mr. Beast wishes he could pull this off.

It's the dad olympics

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

This is pretty much the only fanon idea I have ever decided to hold personally true. I love it. It is the best.

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

to everyone in the notes saying this is mean or rude or a callout, this post was autobiographical. we're in this together. take my paw

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

Vote for me and I will make werewolves real

Top scientists wil work hard round the clock to make it a reality

Bottom scientists as well

#not seeing your friends in a while like (via somniumaddiction)

This is literally how you actually improve ADHD symptoms btw