happy pride moth

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

A CENTURY AGO

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

the near universal absence of hose in late medieval inspired visual media is so evil not for historical accuracy reasons or anything but bc I think they're hot & I'm offended by the implication that they're too weird or unattractive to include. fake men's legs enjoyers everywhere. I bet they wouldn't even appreciate the eroticism of a little flash of braies where the thigh meets the body if they got it. sad!

Little freaks

this is why you shouldn't swear

let's all go to tumblr and order the deformed erotic visage. the look on the mod's face will be an ecstatic contortion