[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me todayâĻ.[grows grave and guarded] theyâre conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

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[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me todayâĻ.[grows grave and guarded] theyâre conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

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one normal day in british politics thatâs all i ask for . will never happen
The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924
whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible
happy turtle bit off a copâs toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate
A CENTURY AGO

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An evil wizard has cursed you with an additional set of taste buds, but permits you to choose one of the following locations for them. Which do you pick?
Fingertips
Nipples
Toes
Genitals
Inside your sinuses
This is kinda ominous ngl
Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.
[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

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good morning exclusively to the atlanticâs science editor, or whoever it is that titles their animal biology articles
fellas, theyâve done it again
me, weeping openly: potato
DEFECTOR HAS TAKEN UP THE MANTLE
the near universal absence of hose in late medieval inspired visual media is so evil not for historical accuracy reasons or anything but bc I think they're hot & I'm offended by the implication that they're too weird or unattractive to include. fake men's legs enjoyers everywhere. I bet they wouldn't even appreciate the eroticism of a little flash of braies where the thigh meets the body if they got it. sad!
Ugh they are always doing this
Little freaks
Here's the unedited comic for those curious:
The original is from June 18, 1959.
Some have called "they pay me in woims" Sluggo's catch phrase. It's not. He said it once, and folks on Bluesky loved it so much they say it all the time, especially in response to the Nancy Comics by Ernie Bushmiller account. Here's the original "they pay me in woims" from February 22, 1978:
And, another mention of woims from September 13, 1949:
And the Woims Wednesday (aka Woimsday) image that gets posted almost every week because of the popularity of the word:
dying in the hospital with a duel disk on my arm
this is why you shouldn't swear

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can't stop laughing at the idea of someone going on tumblr and searching "deformed erotic visage" hoping to find porn
let's all go to tumblr and order the deformed erotic visage. the look on the mod's face will be an ecstatic contortion
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
Experts* have determined that if elected, in theory he would have to remove the bin in order to participate in parliamentary votes.
*a bunch of randos on discord
Fwiw this is reportedly the precedent set in the 80s:
He's also said on record multiple times that he wants to "destroy the far right" and his non-joke policies in the past tend to lean left: