cat, I farted

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

THE ORIGINAL??

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

always gotta reblog the ‘breasted boobily’ post

THE FRENCH FUJOSHI: and you will put ze tips of your penise togezher, oui? and you will insert yourself into 'iz boyhole, oui?

losing my mind over this

Hi, my name is James Webbony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Space Telescope and I am a telescope in space (that's how I got my name) and I have a five-layer aluminum-coated Kapton sunshield protecting my instruments and gold-coated hexagonal primary mirror segments like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Lady Gaga (AN: if you don't know who she is, get the hell out of here!). I'm not related to the Hubble Space Telescope, but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm an infrared telescope but I am much larger than Spitzer. I have 18 primary mirror segments. I also study exoplanets, and I go to a telescope school in L2 where I'm in orbit (I was launched in 2021). I can see distant galaxies (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly gold. I love space, and I take all my photos there. For example, today I was taking a photo of the Cartwheel Galaxy, which is about 500 million light years away. I was using my NIRcam, NIRspec, MIRI, and FGS-NIRISS. I was walking outside L2. It was around 1 million miles away from Earth and there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I unfolded my primary mirrors at them.

kafkaesque? nah, my dreams have been really kirbyesque lately. I keep waking from troubled sleep, only to find myself transformed in my bed into THE COSMIC TIGER-FORCE THAT ROARS DEEP WITHIN REALITY’S EVER-BEATING HEART

Unmute for unhinged redneck