Ahhhh

dumb ass accidentally painted a train instead of a fire

rene magritte has talent but this is a rookie mistake

“nypd” actually means new york personality disorder

Where is her nipple

It was blown clean off by a US Navy 16-inch gun

Damn, never thought of it like that, god bless our troops for facing these horrors of war.

Okay but whose subjective experience is ontologically correct????

mine

Hers

mine

julia’s

mine

yeah its julias

Julia's

yeah julia's

Hm guess that settles that. This "philosophy" shit is pretty easy.

can't wait for joe biden to tweet about this like he has no power over anything that goes on in the US and he isn't the literal fucking president of that godforsaken country

seriously. he’s not a fucking king, and if we could maybe stop blaming Biden for things Republicans do even for just one day that would be great. 

We see that and we respect the fuck out of you. Thank you.

happy that we're raising awareness but you can't make a post about this without mentioning that they collaborated for the sole reason of combining their last names like this

i think janitor should be the highest paying job in a society

im not kidding im not kidding have you ever been inside a public bathroom

Starter Pokémon in Ohio

world heritage post

Pokemon Heritage Post also

It’s No Snakes Tuesday

It’s Yes Snakes Sunday

obsessed w how none of these are the real origin of the phrase

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it's also evil

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

You meet god

Whole, in one gulp.

Father of the Muffin Boy

Car's haunted

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

into the sky, where it turns into stars

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

....Ah

Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes

The fucking worst is that as I get older i completly understand the interest to catch up an unreasonable long time because turns out adults just dont get enough time to hang with friends, so catch up next to the Aldi cheese aisle it is

Today I literally ran into a CO-WORKER while running errands during our break from the place where WE BOTH WORK and spent too long standing on the street talking. I was going to see her again in like…..half an hour. But we don’t have enough time to compare notes during the work day so that cheese aisle time is invaluable.

does anyone else completely ignore the queue option on tumblr. i’m here when i’m here