Fabulosity at its finest

“you’d fumble some girl asking for your star sign by going Um akshually it’s pseudoscience ☝️🤓” she’d fumble me by believing in astrology ngl

I'm sitting down to make a presentation about the Scooby Doo movies and I am now realizing that I am going to struggle not to make this a full 2 hour lecture

I'm sure everyone was dying for an update on this but I have timed my presentation and it is 43 minutes long (and 50 slides)

Oh! Uh....no I'm good actually. I'm comfortable with my current living situation. Thank you for thinking about me and all, really! But I'm like...good. No yeah, you can go ahead and use that third wish.

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

Day 180 since Craig moved in. he clearly thinks he’s dating one of us but we can’t figure out who. it’s possible one of us is lying about it for some reason but so far our efforts at inquisition has led nowhere. we would kick him out but he’s been doing the dishes for us. we’ve decided that for the sanity of the polycule we’ll keep up the charade. if all of us continue to be flirty with him, he’ll project his attraction onto whoever the hell he thinks is into him. this house of cards is delicate but necessary

It got funnier

This is how cats domesticated themselves

a person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff . however , a duck from 150 years ago would just be all like ,still got lakes? yes ? okay cool

Reblogging again because I thought they changed the quote so I decided to look up the actual quote and it’s not fake that is very much the actual quote