✨Copy, Moon Joy✨

puppy cut flan 🍮🔪

incredible puppy cut the flan technique

badass flan slice performed by small type dogy

Jumping from child care to private security really messes with you. I keep saying "oopsie daisy" and encouraging drunk folks to "go home, drink some water and take a nap, and let's try again in 24 hours, okay?" Best part by far is that it's working. Guy went like he was going to fight me the other day and his buddy said "you leave the nice lady alone"

The flip side of "children are human" is that hey a bunch of things that work on kids also work on adults who would've guessed.

I have a folder on my work computer labeled "approving GIFs" and when one of the project managers or engineers does something helpful (or does something correctly the first time I ask), I send them an approving GIF. When I had to work in an office, I gave out actual gold star stickers for the same reasons.

if your response to, “I wish there was more sex repulsed asexual representation,” is to point out not all aces are sex repulsed, maybe first stop and ask yourself why you are doing that. We live in a society that’s constantly telling us we need to have sex and I’m so glad there are aces who aren’t bothered by that, but it doesn’t invalidate those of us that do not want to. This isn’t a competition, I want to see all kinds of aces, being upset with a lack of respect for sex repulsed aces doesn’t mean I think the rep that’s already there for sex positive aces should be changed. I am capable of wanting both, why aren’t you?

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

i bet that mario and luigi dont get pussy

And? Do you?

we’re not talking about me right now

great minds think of dykes

a lot of writing is sort of watching the film in your head like oh sorry can’t write the chapter yet i have to repeat hallucinate the dialogue first

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

i like it when people compliment me. i like it... when people like me. (looks around to make sure nobody is about to shoot me)

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis