Unfulfilled?

but i abort again

I call this phenomenon Jack Sparrow Syndrome because Jack Sparrow in the original POTC trilogy is Not The Protagonist; he's more akin to The Trickster or Mastermind or The Cunning Fool archetypes or some combination of these, which is what made him so compelling in the first 3 movies. None of these are compatible with being a Protagonist (at least not in the conventions established by POTC as a franchise) because the audience has to know what the protagonist's motives are to have any interest in the plot. a huge part of why Jack Sparrow *WAS* compelling in the original trilogy was that we (the audience) and characters around him never quite knew What His Deal Was.

a huge part of why the last two POTC suck ass (apart from the fact they're Just Bad) is because they made Jack Sparrow The Protagonist, and in doing so had to make him legible to the audience in a way that requires fundamentally altering the character's function in the story, and therefore fundamentally altering the character altogether. Often, for the worst. Jack Sparrow is far from the first or only character to suffer this fate.

I'd argue an early significant example of Jack Sparrow Syndrome is Lestat De Lioncourt, who was so fundamentally altered by becoming The Protagonist between IWTV and TVL that reading the books back to back had me seriously questioning if they were even written by the same author. Earlier still, one could make an argument for later Sherlock Holmes stories. Another example is Loki in the MCU, who went from being the literal god of mischief to a fucking COP for all of reality in his own show. I would also argue Spok suffers from this in many Star Trek reboots/spin-offs. There's another, more recent example, which is actually what inspired me to make this post, but the author doesn't deserve the attention.

When I explain this concept to people, they often suggest that I am talking about Flanderisation. While there can be some crossover, Jack Sparrow-ing is not reducing a character to their surface-level mannerisms, but it can appear that way. Often the character's typical mannerisms are ramped up to cover for a drastic character overhaul that places them in a more prominent role than they were designed for. Jack Sparrow-ing is taking a character who was never meant to be the Audience Way In. making them thus, and completely changing them in the process. While there are *some* examples where taking a Side Character and making them the Main Character has worked, it is my opinion that those are exceptions and not the Rule. It is also my opinion that this is one of the more tragic things that can happen to a character you love very much. thank you for coming <333

i decided to try a romcom i somehow missed i the 2000s 'head over heels' and i got 3 and a half minutes in and we're introduced to the lonely MC with bad taste in men as evidenced by her extremely short list of ex boyfriends, including her first boyfriend when she was 11 or something because i guess that's still relevant in her adult life.

so she's resigned herself to never finding love and prefers to ignore men to focus all her energy into her career.

this job is immediately presented as though it's for spinsters with no hope of ever finding a man.

the mc's lesbian bestie (whose first line involves her being scolded for being too sexual in the workplace, but moving on) points out their colleagues as evidence that they're doomed to a romance-less, sexless life if they don't switch up their shared career path. the colleagues are three old women, so-dubbed "the menopause triplets":

these women are presented as if they have no idea what's going on at any given moment. this is 2001, and presumably this is an entry level job requiring low effort and no experience.

then their boss bursts into the room, unceremoniously bumping a large painting into the door jam and walls, announcing that it's a new project for our MC.

our MC is thrilled to see the painting. apparently it's a light in the daily slog at her dreary job for loser women with nothing going on in their lives.

And that job is? Conservator of paintings (specializing in Renaissance) at the New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art.

The painting being handled like an old couch on its way to the curb?

The Bacchanal of the Andrians by Titian.

Her lesbian colleague who is presumably also a a highly trained & skilled curator finds it depressing that the MC is so excited about the painting.

But like. Functionally it serves as a way for live experience testing to be done on a game. It’s a way to dial it in on what people want, and on how to best make the game.

This means that, stars above, you don’t need to fucking review bomb it the second there’s a problem, you have avenues for giving feedback, stop saying the game is doomed because there’s been one bad update ffs

She also could not be bothered to remember Ryan Gosling's name which made the conversation even more funny

My Mom sent me this very important email earlier today and I need to stress that outside of the occasional recipe this is the first email she's sent me since I was in college.

I am working on it

(She complained about the lack of Rocky merch SO I am fixing it myself)

An old, decrepit laundromat gets replaced by an upscale bakery? And people are mad? It’s not that the poor hate organic vegan cupcakes, it’s that most of us don’t have a way to do laundry in our own home.

Run-down corner stores replaced by hand-made designer clothing boutiques? We don’t hate your eco-fabric shawl, but I can’t eat that for dinner after work like I could have a can of beans I grabbed from that corner store when I don’t have time to take the bus to the real grocery store after work.

What gentrification brings in and of itself is not typically bad, it’s that gentrification brings institutions of leisure and pleasure and makes it so that the poor have to go farther out of their way for basic necessities. It turns low-income living spaces into local tourist attractions. It can even create food deserts by putting restaurants, grocery stores, etc. in that the majority of the lower class cannot afford.

I need you to understand that I have, like, an anthropological level fascination with this comic. From the perspective of someone who is also a comic artist and writer, two things delight me about it:

the fact that I understand completely how an artist gets from “the fans can have a little hint of skirted asscheek” to “the pussy is completely out on center page” over the course of 18 years; and

the way in which the pussy being out is treated by the characters and diegesis as being utterly unremarkable.

In chapter 299, the main character unleashes a special attack (???), and immediately after, her boobs DEFLATE BACK DOWN TO A REASONABLE SIZE

And then later in the match, she has to use another special move

And now she's completely flat-chested