When D. Yaps

But they are done, and edited, and I can go nap now.

Sometimes the only way is to push passed the dread, the anxiety, the irritation and immerse yourself into that au again.

I don’t mean writing level because I’m confident in how I write and remember “don’t compare someone’s last draft to your first.” But I’m currently writing a fantasy/romance, and when I read that genre, I can’t help but feel inferior to the magic systems, plots, world building, and characters that I’m reading about. Kind of like “why would anyone read my simplified world when there’s others like this out there?”

I find it hard to enjoy well written fantasy/romance books because I’m jealous of them, which sucks cause I love them.

I never stop comparing myself. I compare my writing to everything I read and consume, and I let it fuel me.

When I feel a work is better than my own, I sit in that bitter pool of jealousy and I examine the reasons for it like a bug. Why am I jealous? Why do I think this writing is better? Is it the dialogue, characterization, worldbuilding, marketing etc? I find the things I like better in their work, and then I try to replicate them. I practice dialogue when I think I'm bad at it (this was the one most recently) or change the pacing of what I'm working on... the list goes on. I treat the jealously like the want it is. I want my work to be as clever, or complex, or what-have-you as what I'm reading, so I use the negative emotion to force myself to practice it.

When the writing is worse I let myself feel superior (momentarily). I look at how much I have improved, how I used to be this terrible/boring too and mwahaha I am now slightly better! I'm growing! If the work is still more popular/valued/profitable than my own, I try to evaluate why (is it luck? is it reach? what is this author doing right?) and remember that if even this nonsense can do well, I can too!