Damoiseau in Distress

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

Intelligent alien species based on bugs but specifically those moths that don’t have mouths and only live for a week after they pupate. This species’ whole conscious life is actually in the larval phase; larvae are the ones considered people, larvae are the ones with conscious and complex brains who build society, and each instar of the larva is treated as a different phase of life. Larvae become emotionally and socially and cognitively mature without ever becoming sexually mature. When they pupate, they metamorphose into something different and strange and close to mindless, with no mouth and no digestive system, whose only instincts are to mate and then quickly die. Metamorphosis is treated, functionally, like a person’s death, and the imago phase is a kind of proto-afterlife of majestic flight and the continuation of the species. Birth and death inextricably intertwined. Sex is not something people do during their lives, it’s a thing that is done as an imago after you’ve passed on from your life but before you return to the soil in death. Resultant eggs are collected by family members to raise. I think this would be fun.

Can I hit or do I have to pay tribute to the rest of your polycule first

Twenty bushels of millet to milady with the neopussy. Twenty five to the it/she because it does the dishes most often.

it really is quite bad for your military to have an image of itself as a warrior class. what you really want is for your soldiers to think of themselves as boring professionals who will fill out a report form if someone gets a little too warrior ethos out there

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

dean sucks cas good and hard through his jorts

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is

I have to say I forgot the onceler’s thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.

the forest is also a metaphor for his bush

how does this post have almost 20k notes and senshi isn’t even winning. the poll is not over he needs your help!!!!!! do it for the fat boys

Apolitically killing bandits and savages in my video game with no messages

asked the skyrim bandits why they were living in a cave and they explained the war effort has buried the economy so they can't find work and lost their homes. I use my shout to blast them across the cave and find a preeeetty nice sword among their belongings

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

atheists call it project hail darwin

agnostics call it project hail maybe

Satanist call it Hell really!

A lot of you on here sure don’t like the idea of making any kind of sacrifice for the benefit of others huh

Some of you act like doing minor inconvenient acts of kindness is equivalent to donating a kidney as if it’s not those acts that form our communities and make the world go around.

Return your grocery cart. If you’re able-bodied offer your seat to someone who is not. Help your friend move. Drive your sister to the airport. Make sure drunk people have a safe ride or walk home. Pet-sit for your coworker. Participate in a meal train. Volunteer in your area. That’s what friendship and community is about.

Wear A Fucking Mask