have you noticed how there is no acceptable thing for a trans lesbian to be, even within queer and feminist spaces? everything that is applauded as progressive, subversive, and powerful for tme queers to do, transfems are hated for.
you can't be a strong, aggressive woman, you can't speak your mind and be openly feminist, you certainly can't be angry, or the same queers who will praise outspoken tme women will turn around and call you a dangerous man. and god forbid you be a man-hating feminist dyke while butch, any touch of masculinity in your presentation will be further snatched up as proof that you're really a man trying to invade women's spaces.
you can't be sexual, you can't be proud of your body, you can't enjoy women's bodies, you can't be a lesbian who likes being a lesbian, or else the otherwise "sex positive" tme queers will accuse you of fetishizing womanhood, of being a predator, a straight man in disguise. and don't you dare commit the cardinal sin of actually liking having a penis, because everyone knows that penis is the ontologically evil weapon of the enemy!
but then, you can't be femme either. you can't enjoy feminine presentation, you can't want to be small and cutesy, you can't like makeup and spinny skirts, otherwise you're accused of reinforcing patriarchy and gender roles, of making a mockery of women, of wearing stereotypes like a costume. these accusations will all be thrown at you by tme queers who tag transmisogynistic caricatures as "gender goals", and who applaud the "femboy" but only before she comes out, only so long as they can say she's just a progressive role-smashing cis boy.
of course it goes without saying that the conservatives, the cishet men who want us to be their dirty little secrets, their lifeless sex toy, an object of desire and target for violence, of course they hate us. but it's not just the conservatives. no matter how you act, how you present yourself, how you feel and express your relationship to womanhood, to femininity, no matter how meek or outspoken you are, tme queers will criticize and ostracize and attack you for doing the very things they praise each other for.
there is no way to earn a way into their good graces, no way to be progressive or subversive in the "right" way, so long as they view the inherent fact of our transfemininity as too subversive, too perverse, to exist the first place.
my fellow tgirl sisters you cannot use this post for doomposting, you as a trans woman are worth more than anything else in the world
girls. I love all of you with my deepest heart. I promise your life can be wonderful. I promise that it already is wonderful for the sole reason that you are a part of it. because you are a trans woman. and I will claw and bite and kill for all of you with my last breath. the world doesnβt see us as worthwhile, and in doing so reveals that it is not worthwhile. we will kill the world that hates us. I will see to it. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
hold each other up. save each other. itβs not true that no one has our backs because I have you, and you have me. we must live and love for each other, and I have found my deepest joys in doing so. I spend every day holding my sisters up and telling them that theyβre worth something because they donβt believe it god they do. I love you. save yourselves, and if you canβt do that, save each other.
