Not Your Enemy So Don’t Make One Out Of Me

alternatively titled, “how to be a decent human being to people who are suffering enough as it is to help your supposedly entitled ass”

1. get off your cell phone.         - cashiers ( not to mention the people patiently waiting in line ) don’t need to hear about how little Kelsey’s doing on the soccer team, or how your mother-in-law is coming into town for her birthday and you’re just SO INCONVENIENCED by having to purchase paper plates and cheap napkins before her arrival.  just tell them you’ll call them back when you’re done.       - if you can’t be assed to think about other people, at least acknowledge the cashier with a smile or a wave.  if they speak to you or ask you a question, don’t shush them.  tell your BFF Tanisha to hold on for what might be a total of four seconds. 

2.  when an item doesn’t immediately scan, please say anything but “oh, it must be free!”  please, dear god, anything but that.  you’re not being funny.  or clever.  or original.  they hear this at least ten times a day.  

3.  the number of items listed on the express lane is not a suggestion.  if you know that you have more items, don’t go there.  it’s that simple.  the express lanes have to be kept open for people who have small orders, so they’re not stuck behind someone with a cart piled high with what’s maybe a week’s worth of food and clothes you’ll inevitably be returning. 

4.  while unloading your cart, put the big items ( i.e., packages of toilet paper, crates of water bottles ) last.  there’s very little room for the cashiers to work with.  when you’re done unloading your cart, pull it up to the loading space and start putting the bags and other items into your cart instead of standing there and staring off into space or fiddling with your phone. 

5.  when you ask a cashier a store-related question ( i.e., how many coupons are allowed per order, whether or not you’re getting the right BOGO deal, etc. ), and they answer you politely and confidently, don’t challenge them.  they work there.  you don’t.  they know the way the store works.  you don’t.  if they’ve forgotten something or made a mistake, by all means, ask them about it – but do it politely.  we all make mistakes.  

6.  do not – i repeat, do not – put your money down on the counter or conveyor belt, especially if the cashier is visibly ready to take it.  hand it over to them.  if you need to count out some change, tell them so they can wait.  oh, and if they’ve already cashed you out, don’t hand over some random amount of change after the drawer’s open.  

7.  if your card’s declined, it’s not their fault.  don’t ask them why it wasn’t accepted.  they don’t know.  and don’t get angry or impatient with them, or insist you have money because you just deposited a check – they do not care.  they cannot help you with problems that are clearly on your end.  

8.  do not yell at a cashier.  once again, for the people in the back:  do not yell at a cashier, especially someone who’s clearly new to the job.  would you appreciate being yelled at for something beyond your control, or a simple, fixable mistake?  no.  so don’t do it to them.  

9.  if you get an answer you don’t like from a cashier and ask to speak to a manager, guess what?  you’re most likely gonna get the same answer from them.  here’s a news flash: the customer is not always right, the company will not always pander to your temper tantrums, and making a scene in front of a line of people with quickly-diminishing patience will not change their minds. 

10.  overall, please just be polite.  these people are working their asses off to help their customers, most of which don’t appreciate their efforts at all.  they’re constantly ignored, mistreated, questioned and degraded, and over time, it really does a number on their emotional state.  just be kind and courteous.  they’re human beings, not mindless drones.  smiles and nice conversations go a long way.