You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

#extradirty
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occasionally subtle
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@majorsarcasm19
You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

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The amount of slavery in Ancient Rome was legitimately terrifying tbh
Y’all know that I’m into ancient Roman history and I do a lot of research on it but even though I should be used to it by now sometimes I read an anecdote about how an individual slave was treated and I’m hit with the realization that like a third of the population was living like that and I just need to put my head in my hands for a second
Emperor Hadrian randomly stabbed a slave in the eye in a fit of rage and he was supposedly unusually sympathetic to slaves.
There’s other instances of people randomly punching slaves that they didn’t even know because they got in their way or something. This was just normal behavior.
And slaves didn’t rebel en masse because if even one slave committed an act of violent rebellion it was common practice to kill every slave and former slave in the household.
People only took notice for posterity when these mass executions got into the hundreds of people. One of the few recorded for the history books is of over 400 people being killed because one guy stabbed his enslaver.
Like how many people throughout history were beaten to death because some rich asshole was angry and there was no legal or social consequences for doing so? We don’t know.
When you study ancient history you’re reminded that slavery has never once been kind or justified. It just takes on different forms of evil in every time and place that it infects.
Lurking under this is also the fact that most Roman mining operations were done by slaves in conditions that were far more brutal than those of household slaves, to the point that sending a slave to the mines is a threat I’ve read leveraged multiple times in separate texts
why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable
Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….
Finally, we have them all.
In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.
Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.
It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.
Imagine for a second that you're an interstellar microorganism. I'm not doing that.
Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord & Chris Miller
Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

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Women can write m/m. Men can write f/f. Asexuals can write filthy smut. Lesbians and gay men can write m/f. It's all arbitrary anyway. Who give a shit.
"Oh but they don't have an experience of-" I don't have any experience committing or solving murders either but that's still mostly what I read and write about.
I've never banged an alien but here we are.
You've never banged an alien yet! There's always time!
My mind contains alternate universes.
Plot Twist Ideas!!
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The mentor who trained the hero turns out to have trained the villain first, and taught them the exact same lessons.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A character's entire memory of a key event turns out to be false, planted or altered by someone they trust.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The "chosen one" prophecy turns out to have been fabricated by someone with something to gain from it being believed.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ Two characters who've never met turn out to be working toward the same goal from opposite sides of the conflict.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The narrator has been dead, dying, or not present for events the entire time, and the story reframes around that fact.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A minor character mentioned once in passing turns out to be central to the ending.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The hero's victory turns out to have been orchestrated by the villain, who needed it to happen for their own plan.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A character believed to be protecting the group has actually been the one leaking information the whole time.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The "safe" location turns out to be the most dangerous place in the story, and everyone walked into it willingly.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A character's greatest strength turns out to be the exact thing that dooms them later.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The war, conflict, or crisis turns out to have been avoidable, and someone chose not to prevent it.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A character thought to be an orphan or outsider turns out to be directly related to someone central to the plot.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The information the protagonist has been risking everything to protect turns out to be false or outdated.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ An ally sacrifices the protagonist's trust intentionally, knowing it will cost the friendship, because it's the only way to save them.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The rules of the world (magic system, technology, law) have an exception that's been hidden from the reader the whole time, and it changes everything retroactively.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A character's "happy ending" in an earlier flashback or preview turns out to be a lie the story was setting up to break.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A repeated object, phrase, or setting turns out to be a loop the character has lived through before, unknowingly.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ The villain's plan succeeds completely, and the "twist" is watching what the world looks like after, forcing a new goal entirely.
⋆.𐙚 ̊ A character's death earlier in the story turns out to have been faked, but they've become someone unrecognizable in hiding.
"I can't believe humans would hunt the thylacine to extinction, humans are fundamentally evil" Hey, did you know that extinction was long thought to be impossible, and within 50 years of humans realizing that extinction via overhunting was a possibility it practically stopped happening? Did you know that humans are so desperate to prevent more losses that they're funneling millions of collective hours and billions of euros into helping other species? Hours and euros that could be spent on humans, and species on whom humanity's own survival does not depend? Did you know that due to an accidental introduction of rats, the Lord Howe Island stick insect population was brought down to 24 individuals and now there are tens of thousands of them?
This bug. This bug that, to most humans, is utterly useless, relatively gross, and completely foreign. Humans saved it because humans do not want to cause another extinction ever again if they can avoid it.
@crabussy
as someone in the field of ecological conservation, I can promise without a shadow of a doubt that people DO care. SO MANY people care.
I have to race to sign up to volunteer trips because even with dozens of spots available, people rush to devote their unpaid free time to helping the environment. these trips often fill up within hours. people care.
you will see a lot of bad news because that is the kind of news that people pay the most attention to. I know this more than you'd think from my optimism- not only do I live somewhere facing some of the most extreme ecological issues on the planet, I also spend my time studying the Bad Stuff every single day.
to see all of this firsthand and stay hopeful is proof enough that there IS hope. I promise there is good news, brilliant news, all the time. it's just less visible. but it's no less important or impactful.
James T. Kirk:
-Graduated in the top 4% of his year -was bullied by jocks -Is a history nerd -was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it -Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”
Jean-Luc Picard:
-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards -broke more hearts than he can remember -started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart -likes to explore dangerous ruins of ancient civilizations for fun -wouldn’t even have become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead
And yet people still manage to get it backwards???
I think it’s a problem of First Officer, really.
Jim Kirk seems like a wild man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*
Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some thought into it” Riker*.
* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuck itself, while Riker plays the trombone.
The Federation is a confusing place.
It’s definitely also a casting thing, to be fair. Shatner got a SCRIPT that said “play a giant gay nerd” but he played him like a jock fuckboy, and Stewart’s script said “play a jock fuckboy” and he played him like a giant gay nerd. Both of these were inspired decisions and I love them for making them.
It’s age, too. We see Picard after he’s grown out of his nonsense. In the first episode, he has a talk with Riker like, “Hey, just so you know? I hired you because you got written up for calling out your last captain when he was being a dumbass. I consider calling me out when I’m being a dumbass to be an important part of your job.”
Meanwhile, Kirk is young and apparently hot (if you’re into that sort of thing) and all the alien ladies, through no fault of his own, want to bang him 100% of the time–this isn’t a thing he does on purpose and indeed is something he’s often horrified and baffled by.
I personally like that every Starfleet Officer ever seen has ‘Shenanigans’ as one layer of their personality, all that varies is how far down it is and what prompts it.

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May we all know decadence such as this
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
THE VAMPIRE LESTAT | RED
Have you guys noticed how much the internet/technology just does not listen to you anymore? I click “don’t show this artist” on Spotify and I get recommended a music video by them on the front page. I click “skip this update” on a pop up every time I open a file organization app and it’s right back there every time. I click unsubscribe on a newsletter and it keeps showing up in my inbox!! I click “delete my account” and the next time I open the website they suggest I “reactivate”.
I realize this is an animal crossing meme but as an astrophysicist I was really excited for a second that someone was finally seeing the light on how fricking difficult and a huge waste of time it would be to try to terraform Mars
Remember, kids! Martian soil is loaded with perchlorates, arsenic, and chromium, and therefore super poisonous to humans and plants! We cannot grow potatoes using our own poop there like in ‘The Martian.’ Mars also receives significantly higher radiation than earth due to its thinner atmosphere, so to not die miserably of space cancer and other radiation fuckery, we would basically have to live in a vacuum-sealed tube underground on Mars, which would mean generations of people living miserably without a sky overhead but also regularly exposing themselves to radiation if they’re going to devote themselves to trying to make the soil not-poisonous, which, let’s be real would take a cataclysmic amount of Earth resources and be unlikely to even work.
Elon and the other billionaires are full of shit and Mars cannot be our “backup.” Earth is all we got.

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This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!
Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:
Or this preferred Tumblr announcement system:
whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight
The grip that Burger & Big Drink has on the American People cannot be overstated