Poprocks

A: Love it. Spend my time combing AO3 for it.

B: Like it. Not one of my bigger cravings, but it can scratch a certain itch if I’m in the right mood.

C: Neutral. A good author might be able to sell it, but a bad one will kill it deader than dead.

D: Not my favorite. I avoid it if I can, but it won’t necessarily put me off reading something.

Hmmm OKAY yes I think I have a few more:

- "Luca come here. Let me see. Open your fucking mouth, kid. Okay yeah, he's bleeding, tell them to give that fucker double, Ilya--"

- "Yeah so like...you eat the food with your hands. No forks. No, they give you this bread. Yeah it's good. Kind of spicy."

- "Hey buddy. Nah, not much. Jackie and the kids good? That's good. Surprised you're not part of the scrum. Yeah he told me he was gonna try to fight you tonight."

- "Ha, no, stay there. I don't wanna hear it. No, I don't want you to whisper it either. Save it for the power play."

- "Can you do this with your pinky? Yeah. Huh, maybe it's because I've broken mine. Hey, Bood, can you do this with your pinky? Huh. Chouinard--tap Chouinard--hey, try to do this--"

- "That ref fucking hates me and you know why--you fucking KNOW why--no I will not calm down!"

- "Yeah it was nice, but I don't think we'll go back. I dunno. It rained the whole time and Ilya said it made him feel homesick. No, like, for Russia. Yeah. Big sad Slavic eyes the whole time. And he's, y'know. My guy. When he's sad, I'm sad. Nah, that's not sappy, that's just marriage, man."

- "Hey, did you know that the point of hockey is actually to keep your blades on the ice? Yeah it helps. You can't go as far skating on your nose."

- "Aw shit, buddy, did he get you? Did my husband use his big stick to put you on your back? Aw man, bud, I dunno. Sounds kind of gay."

- "No, it's fine, not broken. Don't fuss. I'll tell you what I said later. No, later. Uh-huh. You get it. Eyes on the game, Rozanov."

- "Aw, fuck, he threw a blade. Oh you are not serious. Why is he crawling. COME ON, THIS IS WHAT WE LEARNED THE POWER PULLS FOR--"

- "Oh, kiss cam. You know, I asked them not to--helmet, Ilya. I said you could kiss my helme--mmm. Fine."

- "Say that again about my fucking family, motherfucker! Say that shit again! I'm not gonna let you fuckers play like that anymore!"

“Haas, where are you right now?”

“The club by the hotel.”

“And he’s not in the bathroom?”

“No.”

“Not on the roof?”

“No.”

“Not trying to access any of the dancers poles?”

“What? Why would- Oh, Troy says no.”

“Is he hanging out with drunk girls in the women’s bathroom?”

“Umm, one sec. Harris, can you ask her if Ilya is in there? … Harris says no.”

“Ok. What were you talking about before he disappeared?”

“We were trying to figure out where to eat.”

“Did anyone bring up sushi?”

“He didn’t say he wanted-“

“Just answer the question.”

“Uh yeah, someone suggested it, but he said he wanted-“

“He’s at the pier.”

“What?”

“He got bored, sushi put fish on his brain, which made him think about water, and he likes going to piers, and the hotel is walking distance from a boardwalk by the water. He’s there, most likely trying to look at fish going under the dock.”

“… How do you know that?”

And like, Ilya expected them to get stopped a little. He got recognized and stopped in Boston. But he wasn’t expecting to be recorded pretty much all day. Photos, video, the second anyone recognizes them - and everyone recognizes them - phones are out. Shane is repeatedly apologized to and told not to pay for a single thing all day. He leaves like a 300% tip on each of their purchases, but still. No one will let him pay for anything.

And everyone wants a picture. People are not shy about coming to him and asking for a picture or an autograph and Shane just - gives them whatever they want. Grown adults, teenagers, parents with small children… Shane and Ilya take a photo with each of the business owners to hang on their wall. The owner of the cafe almost cries when she sees him and gives him a big hug. She doesn’t need to ask for his order; she remembers it and she gives him a special energy breakfast ball thing she’s been perfecting with him in mind.

The bakery made his favourite cookie in the approximate shape and size of a puck because they heard he was in town and hoped he’d swing by.

“Hollander, you own a bar here?”

“Uh, nope, they just… changed it after I left. Used to be called Chez Serge. Hayden told me there’s a winebar called 2481 in the village now. Or maybe Saint Henri? I can’t remember.”

It’s fucking insane. And Ilya knew it was insane, but this… this is actually fucking crazy.

The only place that isn’t quite so bad is Schwartz’s. And after Ilya gets over the fact that Shane used to come here alone late sometimes (smoked meat sandwiches are NOT team dietician approved), he boggles over Shane having a casual chat with the guy making their sandwiches. It’s 11:30 at night. There’s a photo of Shane and this guy on the wall, and Shane’s grinning widely with two thumbs up because he is a dork. “Hey Ilya, c’mere I want you to meet someone.”

They get bagels after. They just - drive to the bagel place that is open 24h, get a dozen, take yet another photo, and pick at them on the way back to Pike’s. They’re so fresh they’re still steaming.

Ilya looks at Shane from across the console. He’s been doing this the whole time? Even with the added pressure of their whole thing before it was a thing? Christ. “It was always like this?”

Shane shrugs. “I mean, not always. This was pretty bad, but it was like this every year we made the playoffs. It was similar on years we didn’t do as well, just a little less, you know? I could at least go places without being stopped all the time. I’d still be filmed, but I think people were less proud to be seen with me? So less pictures with fans. But during the playoffs? Yeah, always like this. Why? It had to be similar for you in Boston.”

“Ah, no, Hollander. This is fucking crazy.”

“Yeah,” Shane shrugs. “Metros fans are passionate. The worst were the game day look paps. I always failed miserably at those.”

Ilya takes a breath.

“heh… remember strawbebby…. And ranibow spramkle… always made me laugh”

“Don’t talk like that man. We’re gonna get out of here i prommy.” [mortar fire sails overhead and land nearby] “christ its like a childrens hospital out there”

[through shallow breaths] “I always loved…… the color of the sky…………”

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

But if anyone needs an example of a good Pest creature who coincidentally also played in Boston, look no further that Brad Marchand, aka The Rat. Little shit behavior all around, he’d even lick or kiss other players to goad them. But at the same time, even though he started in the fourth line, he proved to be a very good player.