im wasted on cross country

jurassic park is legit so good

i once met a woman who loved jurassic park so much she said she's watched it over 800 times. she literally keeps track of the number of times. i ran into her again some months later & i don't think she recognized me initially. but i recognized her. i asked her "hey, random question, have you ever heard of the movie jurassic park?" and she's like "yes i love it so much! ive watched it over 1000 times”. unstoppable

i miss u so much (pre ai internet)

they should invent an 8-9:30 pm that's seven hours

sexually repressed people be like “i have an ancient evil stirring within me. no one can know” and its literally just craving intimacy

bringing a sort of "slavery is still alive and well in US prisons" vibe to the office Juneteenth post that my higher ups don't really like

From what I understand slavery was never actually abolished in the us. It is still legal and all.

the amendment that "ended" slavery specifically left permission for slave labor as punishment for convinced criminals and our inmates have been legally exploited ever since, yes

*to a klingon* call me 9/11 the way i wanna hit those twin towers

transfem klingon bottom surgery is also a 9/11 joke but i’m not smart enough to figure out how to word it

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”