en garde, dickhead

car is a sentient beast that eats dollars and can tell when you have money in your bank account

Horses are also expensive horses that love to die aren't they

recently rediscovered a zest for life and it has me thinking the most asinine thoughts. i used to stare at the ceiling agonizing over my insignificance in the universe and now i’m like “the creamer looks so pretty going into the coffee.” “isn’t it amazing i can listen to all the music ever made anywhere i want at any time.” pathetic.

I must not delay task. Delay task is the mindkiller. Delay task is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my task. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the task has gone there will be nothing. Only completed task will remain.

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.