Me today

Fuck small talk.  Let’s talk about how your day was, the weather, or the big game last night.

all the heterosexual women i went to school with are getting engaged to their dogshit boyfriends because they need to secure new health insurance before aging off their parents plan its so bleak and scary. slip poison into his code red mountain dew and get out of union kentucky girl you are in fucking peril

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

weekend? more like weakened. let me rest

Sometimes you gotta make yourself drink water and sit in direct sunlight, like some kind of wilted houseplant

stop worrying about protein and start worrying about fiber