TOA Why brainrot

@corporatebanana and @chimneyschewinggum tagged me this week. The "Fuck It" stands for i have too many WIP, but here's another one anyway.

Based on the idea proposed by @stricklandermewmew of the characters swapping origine stories. I threw in that Buck wakes up post lightning strike...

Buck grabs the chair, and breaks through the viewing window to his real life.

***

He comes to in fits and starts. He opens his eyes to bright lights, and the sound of monitors. Looking around the room, there's no one there. It must still be night. He closes his eyes again.

***

The next time he wakes, the nurse is in the room. She notices him awake, and tries to say something. The words sound like static. He falls asleep again.

***

There's a strange man sitting by bed. Buck doesn't recognize him, but he's reading outlook from a book, sitting uncomfortably in the chair in his room. The man doesn't notice Buck is awake, so Buck closes his eyes again.

***

Bobby's in his room, the rosary beads are suspiciously absent. Bobby looks lighter than Buck remembers, reading something out loud off his phone. He doesn't notice Buck's woken up.

"B…" Buck tries to get out, but his voice feels hoarse.

The noise attracts Bobby's attention. He stands up, holding a hand out. "Don't try to talk! I'll go get the nurse."

the way Bobby looks at him doesn't sit right.

"Bobby, don't go," Buck gets out, quiet and strained, but Bobby hears it.

Standing, startled, Bobby turns to him,and there's no recognition in his eyes. "How do you know my name?"

Buck/Tommy, Buck/Others Rated: E Word Count: 2,627

Summary: This must be what a roasted turkey feels like on Thanksgiving.

If someone had told Buck two years ago that he'd be here—on his back and blindfolded, completely naked, and surrounded by men of all shapes and sizes—he'd've laughed himself into another coma. But now, he's practically vibrating out of his skin with excitement. His belly's tight. His nipples are pebbled from the air conditioner. His dick is so hard he thinks he might pass out. "All right," he gasps with a grin. "All right, let's go."

Read on AO3.

re: Tommy being at the gangbang:

I think Tommy was invited by one of the other guys. Buck had specified during the planning stages that they could bring someone(s) they trusted and I think Nwole was the one who extended the invitation. Nwole's a hedge fund manager but he also does other types of investment work, and Tommy's been going to him for years (at this point, Tommy doesn't actually need to work a day in his life, which is why he's always up for potentially throwing away his career). Nwole was like "I'm going to a thing in a few weeks and the guy has strict rules, but I can bring a friend.... if you're interested. You'll need to get tested first." And Tommy hemmed and hawed and wrestled with guilt because he still feels like he belongs to Buck and that fucking someone else—even anonymously—would be a betrayal, but then he decided that it had been a year since he'd heard from the man, who'd obviously moved on, and what the hell. And then he walks into the room that night to see Buck laid out like a feast and is like "well, fuck me, I guess."

do I have werewolf bucktommy thoughts :) alex :)

take my hand 🫴 we're going quasi-urban fantasy, quasi-teen wolf territory. during the truck crush, buck is way worse of than in canon, and the only thing on hand to save him is someone in the crowd offering the bite. buck's delirious in pain, but he begs for it, and bobby and acting captain chim agree to it both so fuck it, buck's got a new furry little problem.

in their guilt re: changing buck's life forever, bobby and chim beg tommy to come help buck get used to the lunar-charged life. they don't know exactly what got tommy to become a werewolf, but they do know he wasn't born a 'wolf, so he's gotta know what buck's going through, right?

tommy's a great werewolf mentor! he has buck used to being a werewolf stunningly fast. he is weirdly like, soft about it? he tells buck it's okay to have feelings about the change, but obviously it's okay to have feelings about the change! being a werewolf rocks!

bucktommy inevitably happens. buck gets territorial over tommy similarly to canon and maybe even still twists eddie's ankle :( but it's okay :) because tommy kisses buck about it :) and now his boyfriend is his werewolf AND his gay yoda! wow buck is so lucky!

meanwhile tommy is mayor of guiltshamefear land. he hates being a werewolf. his CO made the decision for him even though he was begging to just bleed out and die in that fucking desert. it took him years to keep from popping his claws out any time he hears a car alarm. everything smells so much and the only time he feels peace anymore is when he's focusing on flying. and now, with evan.

evan, who took to werewolf-dom like a duck to water. evan, who lept into being queer headfirst and with a smile on his face. evan, who is somehow both everything tommy wants to have and wants to be and he looks at tommy like he hung the fucking moon and what do you mean they have the same ex and evan wants him to move into the loft he doesn't even have a yard and tommy's fur is growing out and his bones are cracking and reshaping and he's running out the door.

Markup for the SCREEN ACT and KOSA is going to the Senate on WEDNESDAY AUGUST 5TH 2026. That's in TWO DAYS.

You need to contact your representatives and senators. We need to stop this nonsense unless we want to wind up like the UK.

Call them. Send emails. Write letters. Use these resources to figure out who to contact and what to say. Let them know we will VOTE THEM OUT if they vote in favor of any of these bills.

Jessssssica! I hope you like this. It's 737 words of very awkward!

Buck didn’t go out drinking alone. He might go to a bar alone intending to pick someone up. He might go out drinking with friends or family coworkers. But this? Several shots on a too-empty stomach for the express purpose of obliterating his thinking processes? Not his usual.

A bad day at work plus a bad series of calls multiplied by a too quiet house after equaled a noisy bar full of strangers and alcohol becoming very appealing.

And so he did. He lost himself in a handful of shots and the anonymous noise of people he didn’t know living lives he wasn’t invested in. They paid him no mind and that was just fine by him. It wasn’t about him. He wasn’t bucking it up. He was just a guy with a barstool and a wonderful, thought-obscuring buzz.

Then.

“Evan.”

All his perfectly scattered thoughts reorganized into one: Tommy. 

“You’re not s’posed to be here.” Buck was maybe pouting. It wasn’t fair. He hadn’t specifically been trying to dodge Tommy-thoughts today but they were in that permanent category. The man wasn’t supposed to materialize when he was avoiding all those things that made him sad or tired.

“Sorry,” Tommy answered, taking the stool next to him. There’d been someone there just a few moments earlier but Tommy must have made them vanish when he suddenly appeared. 

Maybe Tommy was magic. Maybe that’s how he could remove himself from Buck’s life so easily. 

Except for that one time, Buck thought. The alcohol in his belly turned sour at the memory. “Don’wanna think ‘bout that,” Buck complained. 

“About what?” Tommy asked. He waved away the bartender, barely sparing any of his focus on Buck to do so. 

“Bad stuff. Things I said. Bucking it up.” He laughed miserably and checked his most recent shot, hoping he’d missed something. 

“Okay.” Tommy’s tone was that familiar one of easy acceptance, the one that said he’d go along with whatever. But his eyebrows pulled down as he studied Buck.

Buck frowned back at him. “Why’re you here? You’re only around when I don’t want you.”

Tommy drew back, his face going empty. 

“I hate that,” Buck said, waving his fingers at Tommy. “Th’empty face. You’ve got such a good face. Not fair to use it like that.”

“Sorry,” Tommy said again. But this time it was quieter. Sad. 

Buck hated that more than the empty face. “Wait.” Frowning in concentration, Buck tried to remember everything he’d said, tried to figure out why Tommy had the empty face and the sad tone. 

When I don’t want you.

“Wait,” he repeated, gasping a little. “Fuck. No. I… that wasn’t…”

“It’s okay, Evan. I know. I keep showing up when you haven’t called. I’ll go. But… is there someone I can call for you? I… I need to know you’re going to get home safely.”

“Don’t wanchu to go,” Buck muttered. He pushed up from his stool and fit himself closer to Tommy. “Want…” He huffed. “Want you to stop going.” And then, half stumbling between their stools, he lurched into Tommy, his mouth landing hard against Tommy’s. 

Tommy tried to catch him, his hand landing on Buck’s shoulder and gripping there tight enough there might be a bruise later. Buck hoped there was. He didn’t know if Tommy was holding on or just surprised or maybe wanting to push Buck away. Buck adjusted the kiss into something more kiss-like. It still wasn’t right though.

It wasn’t right because Tommy wasn’t kissing him back.

Buck straightened. He blinked at Tommy.

“Evan…”

“Tommy. Don’t… don’t say whatever you’re gonna say. Don’t… don’t go. Please. Kiss me. Stay. Stop… stop leaving.”

“Evan. I…” Tommy scrubbed a hand over his face. “I wish this wasn’t however much you’ve had to drink talking,” he said, the words so soft Buck didn’t think they were meant for him.

“It’s me talkin. I keep saying the wrong things. Just… pretend they’re right things for once?”

“How about I take you home and if you remember this tomorrow we can talk?”

Buck grabbed Tommy’s arm. “But you’ve gotta stay,” he demanded. “Stay until I find the right words?”

Looking away, Tommy blew out a breath. His face wasn’t empty now. His face was full of so many things that Buck couldn’t keep himself from reaching up to touch him, sure he’d feel all those emotions under his fingertips.

or: what i was yapping about earlier

rating: teen & up (catfud-typical profanity), no archive warnings apply (tho please read the tags!!) word count: 5k

summary: maddie has an unexpected encounter in the baking aisle at the grocery store, then formulates a plan.

why you may want to read it: you're in the mood for a s8a fix-it!!!, you like song fics, you like orville peck, you like awkward encounters in grocery stores, you like meddling that also has an attempt at boundaries, you neeeeeeed bucktommy back together PRONTISSIMO

featuring: pop culture references, chimtommy bestieism, chivalry, get-along shirt mentions, puns, no character bashing, two-part harmonies in awkward three-part arrangement

There are two great problems with what happened to Margaret (and that her parents are trying to do to Juliet). One is easy for modern people to spot (but was also a common response back in her own day). And that’s the moral implications of what was done to her. She was too young to be married, and it was horrifying that she was forced into it so young. Every one of the adults around her either acted immorally or failed to protect her. They were wrong. This is what modern people see, and it’s important to remember that people back in her day mostly agreed with it. You’re supposed to think it’s fucked up! When girls were married that young (and it didn’t happen often!) it was a formality 99% of the time. It was for dynastic or financial reasons (the girl has lots of money and/or land and/or a title that her husband wants), but the “couple” don’t consummate their marriage for years. And it’s not just that they would have separate bedrooms. They might not even live in the same country until the girl was in her late teens and physically and mentally mature enough to bear and raise kids. Hell, a lot of times they didn’t even meet until the girl was older! They had this thing called “proxy marriage” where you would have two separate ceremonies, in two separate places, with each party saying their vows separately, one in one city and the other in a different one. So, yeah, sure, the girl was technically married at 12, but she didn’t actually meet her “husband” in person until she was 17 and they didn’t start sleeping together until she was 20. That was a thing they did.

The other problem, the one that modern people don’t notice, is dynastic. See, marriage wasn’t generally because you loved someone. It was because you had the resources to support a family, and you or your family wanted to pool those resources with someone. It’s about “our family has these resources, and we want that to continue.” It’s about continuity across generations. It’s about making sure that your children and grandchildren have the best possible resources to survive and thrive, whether those resources are land or a trade or a title or money or whatever. In order for this to work, you have to have kids! The family and the family’s resources depend on the married couple having children. If the couple doesn’t have children, the marriage is a failure. And that failure affects not only the couple, but both families. This is a really big problem. And you can’t have just one kid to pass on the family name, because half of all kids die in early childhood. If you want to be safe, you need several kids, to be sure at least one will survive to adulthood (when they can marry and pass on the family name and resources.

You know what happens when a girl has her first pregnancy too young? She is very likely to either die in childbirth, or have complications that destroy her future fertility. Just like Margaret Beaufort. Just like Juliet’s mother. In other words, the marriage is a failure, not just for her, but also for her family, and her husband (who can’t divorce her, it’s not allowed except in extremely rare circumstances), and her husband’s family. So even the people who didn’t have a moral problem with adult men having sex with pubescent girls had a practical problem with girls married too young because you are very likely to destroy the entire purpose of the marriage by doing it. As Shakespeare reminds us in the play through Juliet’s mother having been married too young and only having one child.

another thing i noticed, the year my local community shakespeare theater did r&j, and i made the costumes so i got to watch the show every night: part of why capulet is telling paris, take your time, get to know each other, no rush, is that he still has his nephew tybalt as his heir. as long as tybalt is in the picture, there is no pressure on juliet to go further with paris, than get acquainted. once tybalt is killed, then suddenly capulet needs an heir, he needs a husband for juliet, now, this week. (the role of capulet is best given to the actor in the company that can do over the top apoplexy, you need to believe his urgency comes at least in part by how clearly he could drop dead any moment from giving himself a stroke)

i feel like this play is often taught in middle schools as if it was somehow relevant to, or about, teen hormone storms. really it's got more to do with the social structures around family and inheritance. leaving that context out makes it confusing, why is capulet suddenly flipping from nice dad to evil dad?