excuse me, sir

Jiang Cheng is his uncle, any last words? - Iconic. Masterful. Ominous. Also a great one-liner. Shows off his fashion sense well. 9/10, point deducted because he can do better and we know it.

A-Qing in Yi City - She deserves so much credit for making a room full of teenage boys piss themselves in terror. 10/10, make the boys cry, girlfriend.

Meng Yao, with a sword, on the steps of the Nightless City - Sneaky, surprising, and true to form. Maybe they all should have learned something from the fact that he showed up out of nowhere to shank a dude. 7/10, effective but not terribly stylish, execution could be improved (pun absolutely intended).

Nie Huiasang's conference meltdown - Also true to form, but in exactly the opposite way, as is appropriate! Ridiculous and overwrought. 8/10, points deducted because I want to know what his fake problems are. I bet they are creatively absurd.

The Tortoise of Slaughter - Humans always fall for the "pretend to be a submerged rock" trick! The score is unknowable because I would not dare judge an ancient being out of song and legend who has to spend the last days of its momentous life watching Wei Wuxian try to flirt.

Xue Yang watching over his work from the rooftop - Suitably dark and ominous. There are a lot of bodies and he is having a grand time. It's not his first appearance but it is his most effective character intro. 8/10 only because he immediately gets captured and that's awkward.

Wen Ning outside the window - He did not understand the assignment. 50/10 in the cuteness contest.

Wen Ning in the grass - Still does not understand the assignment. 1000/10 in the Halloween costume contest.

Wang Lingjiao says girls do it better - Looks good showing up to do some wartime sacking and plundering. She's terrible but she has style. 7/10, scores higher than her man because all he did was interrupt high school show and tell.

Wen Ning actually understands the assignment better than you think - Amazing. Stylish. A++ cosplay opportunity. Good hair. Nice chains. Mysterious origin. 10/10, would summon him using LWJ's secret boner song again.

The Yiling Laozhu makes an entrance - Too hot. Hot damn. Call the villain police and the villain fireman, then ignore them, because we are Into This and we are Not Ashamed. Combine the lurking on rooftops with the slow-stepping torture and we are feeling just fine. 13/10, change nothing, all judges award extra credit, this routine is going to the Olympics.

Xue Yang reveals himself in Yi City - As a society we do not talk enough about Song Jiyang's Xue Yang smile and the fact that it gives us all both chills and thrills. Combined with Xue Yang’s pet fierce corpse crashing through the roof a few minutes earlier, and the spooky musical conversation with the undead, this is a very strong entrance that is precisely as dramatic as it needs to be. 10/10, slay on, my murder prince.

Lan Wangji saves the kids - Glorious. Iconic. Solves a problem with minimal effort but maximum flair. Power move in every way. We are all excitedly chirping, “Hanguang Jun! Hanguang Jun!” in our hearts. 11/10, extra credit for the jazz hands.

Jiang Cheng, in the rain, with an umbrella - Magical. Stylish. Extra hot when you realize he killed like ten dudes with his purple kink weapon on the way in. He's there to save his nephew and maybe his not-evil brother and you can all fuck off and die. 12/10, I am not deducting but am in fact giving him extra points for the fact that he immediately trips into a humiliating public emotional breakdown.

Wei Wuxian's hot villain breakdown on the roof - Iconic in every way. Terrifying. Tragic. He's just here to laugh-cry and murder thousands and he's not leaving until he does. The scenery matches his outfit. Homicidal mental instability never looked so good. 12/10, I have to give him the same score as JC above because I’m not Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. I don’t have to pit them against each other.