i'm a medical doctor

Yo mama the tin man

we have a very healthy victim/abuser relationship, actually, thanks for asking

*eating balsamic that’s too strong* they laced my shit grand son

she took my weewee in the divorce

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

zendaya wearing real 3000-year old ancient iranian earrings with no known track of provenance to the odyssey premiere. nasty work. even worse than the kim kardashian marilyn dress to me. they could have promoted modern greek jewelry designers but chose to do this instead. very tacky at best. especially in this geopolitical climate

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in