Random, in small amounts

Some examples;

Don't be afraid to break the pointless and sexist rules society has imposed upon you, especially if they stand between you and your dreams.

Learn to recognise your self worth beyond the trappings of success.

Recognising and working to correct your white privilege, is not only the right thing to do morally, but will also lead to a more diverse and exciting playing field.

Lightning Bolt NB Emojis!

“There was a significant national response to the shootings: hundreds of universities, colleges, and high schools closed throughout the United States due to a student strike of 4 million students,[10] and the event further affected public opinion, at an already socially contentious time, over the role of the United States in the Vietnam War.[11]”

Student strike of 4 million students! Let’s do that again lol

Another picture from Kent State.

But it was not just Kent State, eleven days later Mississippi Police fired 150 rounds into a dormitory at Jackson State College, killing 2 and wounding 15 black protesters.

Thot

- majestic - good hair - straight ally - total feminist - Better Than You - best brother

America’s Ass

- t h i c c - disaster bisexual - literal golden retriever - n i p p l e s - sad about the bae

Tony Stank

- the literal definition of adhd - runs on coffee and cocaine - judging you - terrible boyfriend, pretty good husband - “3000? thAt’S cRaZy”

angry grinch

- weed dealer - always angry - anxiety - too tired to be stark’s best friend

bird 1

- actual disaster - weirdly nice arms - married?????? - actually not in love with black widow - probably has tried to steal a dog at least once

mama spider

- will kill - terrifying - somehow always looks amazing - steve rogers’ relationship advisor - love? for children

bird 2

- supersoldier babysitter - everyone’s favourite - done - to the left - hates his bestie’s boyfriend - not problematic in the slightest - actual angel there is nothing wrong with him whatsoever

quippy black best friend

- somehow hasn’t killed tony stark yet - was just put there for comic relief but now everyone loves him - the best character in endgame - troll

bonky

- chaotic gay - sad - good hair - still annoyed at his husband for something that happened in 1943 - power bottom

spiderling

We’ve got pillow forts.

Reblog to join.

Reblog to enjoy.

ONCE A CULT-MEMBER~

ALWAYS A CULT-MEMBER~

Do they not realize that our coven has surpassed them long ago?

Quickly, my coven! Reblog to enter the pillow fort vault!

Those imbecilic, barbaric cultists cannot burn steel!

Also there are fresh mallows inside with choccy and gram grams for s’mores!

NO CULTISTS ALLOWED~

“Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep” – Mary Elizabeth Frye

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

LOL

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Most students don’t have a lot of cash to spend on food, but that doesn’t mean you have to go hungry. With the right recipes and some kitchen savvy, you can eat great even on a student’s budget. Here we’ll share 100 tasty recipes that you can make on the cheap. Along with saving money on meals, budget-savvy students can also save big on a college education by attending inexpensive online colleges.

Breakfast

Get a good start to your day with these cheap-o breakfasts.

Hash browns: Hash browns are cheap and easy to make, and cheaper than a trip to IHOP.

Puff pastry chicken and bacon: You can make bacon and chicken in puff pastry using this recipe.

Microwave scrambled eggs: Make scrambled eggs in the microwave with this recipe.

Breakfast burritos: You can make these burritos ahead for a quick microwave breakfast.

Onion quiche: This quiche makes a delicious, incredibly cheap breakfast.

Omelet in a bag: Boil eggs and some handy ingredients for this simple, cheap omelet.

Frittata: Add eggs to cheese, vegetables, and herbs you have handy in your fridge to make a frittata.

Ramen

A college staple gets dressed up in these recipes.

Antipasto ramen salad: With ramen, pepperoni, black olives, onion, and Italian dressing, you’ll find yourself with a great ramen salad.

Beef & Broccoli Stir Fry Ramen: This dish makes a delicious stir fry from ramen.

Chinese style ramen with veggies: Make your ramen a little bit healthier with some vegetables added in.

Ramen noodle alfredo: Turn your ramen noodles Italian with this recipe.

Beef & Broccoli Ramen: Add some meat and veggies to your ramen to make this dish.

Spring ramen salad: Take a fresh approach to ramen with recipe.

Hamburger ramen: Ground beef with ramen makes for a great meal.

Chicken hollandaise ramen: Add chicken and hollandaise to your ramen for this meal.

Egg drop noodle soup: You’ll combine ramen, eggs, and flour to make this tasty soup.

Lo mein ramen: Follow this recipe for ramen lo mein style.

Creamy veggies and ramen: Add celery soup and vegetables to ramen, and you’ll have a great meal.

Pasta ramen salad: Use ramen as the base to make this delicious pasta salad.

Sandwiches

Use these recipes to step up your sandwiches.

Hot Dog Egg Sandwich: Get a good portion of protein and flavor from this sandwich.

Egg Salad Sandwich: Cook up some hard boiled eggs for a cheap, tasty sandwich that’s really versatile.

Monte Cristo Sandwich: This sandwich is a delicious hybrid of grilled ham, cheese, and french toast.

Grilled chicken and apple sandwich: This hot sandwich is healthy, affordable, and delicious.

Canned salmon sandwich: Add celery, horseradish, and swiss cheese for a delicious, healthy meal from a can.

Turkey, chutney and avocado grilled sandwich: This sandwich is an exotic, cheap treat.

Grilled Cheese Sandwich: The classic college staple, grilled cheese sandwiches pack a lot of flavor for very little cost.

One Pot

These simple recipes can be pulled off in one pot.

Creamy cauliflower soup: This vegetable soup is cheap, easy, and surprisingly tasty.

Cheap chili: Use chopped beef, tomatoes, and more for this cheap chili.

Butternut Squash Soup: Take advantage of cheap winter vegetables with this soup.

Slow cooker BBQ chicken: Combine cut up chicken with your favorite barbeque sauce for this recipe.

Crockpot lemon chicken: Get inexpensive cuts of chicken and make this lemony meal for lots of flavor without lots of money.

Minestrone soup: Eat this classic soup for a healthy, cheap meal.

Cheeseburger soup: This soup is hearty enough to be a meal.

Slightly Italian crockpot chicken recipe: With chicken, artichoke, onions, and spices, you’ll get an Italian chicken meal in a slow cooker.

Cranberry pot roast: Beef roast and cranberries offer a lot of flavor in this crockpot meal.

Crockpot potato soup: Make this soup from chicken broth and potatoes.

Corn, Bacon, and Potato Chowder: This hearty chowder is great for winter eating.

Chilled avocado soup: Check out this recipe for a healthy, refreshing treat.

Slow cooker pulled pork: Make pork shoulder in the crock pot using this recipe.

Middle East Chicken Soup: This ethnic chicken soup is a cheap, tasty, treat.

Bean soup: In this bean soup recipe, you’ll find lots of protein for just a little money.

Salads

Use these healthy recipes to make cheap, delicious salads.

Caesar salad: Combine romaine lettuce, parmesan cheese, croutons, and dressing for a classic salad.

Simple spinach salad: In this tasty salad you’ll find sweet pears and spinach.

Bowtie Pasta Salad: Throw together some pasta, tomatoes, and other vegetables for this salad.

Cucumber salad: This salad is fresh, delicious, and cheap.

Caprese salad: This caprese salad is simple and delicious.

Chicken Caesar salad: Eat this recipe as a salad, or put it into a wrap for a healthy, cheap treat.

Simple green salad: Here you’ll find a simple, inexpensive salad with great flavor.

Pecan mandarin orange salad: Get a bright and sweet salad from this recipe.

Cucumber salad with sour cream: This salad is cheap and refreshing.

Salmon orzo salad: With salmon filets, or even canned salmon, you can put together this salad treat.

Casserole

You’ll find delicious casseroles in these recipes.

O’Brien Casserole: Use O’Brien potatoes, beans, lean meat, and some veggies for a great potato casserole.

Baked Tuna Chow Mein Microwave Casserole: Pop this tuna casserole in the microwave for a quick meal.

Easy cheap casserole: This casserole combines easy, affordable ingredients.

Penne Pasta Casserole: Make this tasty pasta casserole for $3 or less.

Meatloaf: ground beef combined with ketchup, onions, and more makes a great meal for less than a dollar per serving.

Four Bean Casserole: This casserole is popular at potlucks and with barbequed meals.

Tuna casserole: With canned tuna, you can make a healthy, delicious tuna casserole on the cheap.

Pizza & Pasta

Get your grains with these recipes.

Microwave Mexican pizza: Use tortillas, cheese, salsa, and sour cream for this pizza.

Bagel pizza: Use this recipe to make pizza on a bagel.

Spaghetti: Pick up multigrain pasta with tomato sauce and mushroom for a big meal without a big budget.

Feast of Pasta: Create this casserole with pasta, onions, and other simple ingredients.

Shrimp with ricotta sauce on pasta: Upgrade your pasta dish with this recipe.

Easy calzones: Use cheese, vegetables, and pepperoni in these easy calzones.

Olio e Aglio Pasta: This side dish combines angel hair with oil and garlic.

Pasta salad: Combine your favorite pasta with salad dressing, and olives, vegetables, or herbs you have handy.

Pasta and Ricotta Cheese: This pasta favorite is a crowd pleaser.

Entrees

These recipes offer affordable main dishes.

Baked potato: Often served as sides, a baked potato can be the main dish-just add lean meat, beans, or chili.

Mexican hot dogs: This twist on hot dogs is extra delicious.

Chili: With beef, tomatoes, and beans, you can make a delicious chili.

Tuna patties: Put tuna, egg, relish, crumbs, salad dressing, and other simple ingredients together to create yummy tuna patties.

Cheap beef stroganoff: This recipe offers a cheap version of beef stroganoff.

Vegetarian chili: Use soy protein, tomatoes, and beans for a protein and fiber packed chili without any meat.

Eggplant parmesan: Eggplant parmesan makes a cheap and delicious vegetarian meal.

Vegetarian sweet and sour tofu: If you’re looking for a great vegetarian meal on the cheap, check out this recipe.

Parmesan chicken: With breadcrumbs, parmesan, and chicken, you can make this very tasty main dish.

BBQ chicken: Slather chicken with barbeque sauce, pop it in the oven, and enjoy.

Lemon Herb Roasted Chicken: Make some delicious chicken in a slow cooker with this recipe.

Salmon patties: Use canned salmon, bread crumbs, and other simple ingredients for this healthy, cheap dish.

Meatballs and orzo: Make these easy meatballs instead of using store bought frozen ones.

Sides

Use these recipes to complement your entrees on the cheap.

Buttered baby carrots: Sweet, tender carrots make up this side dish.

Roasted asparagus: Follow this simple recipe for a healthy, cheap vegetable side.

Spicy mac: Make macaroni and cheese with Taco Bell hot sauce.

Garlic toast: Use this recipe for delicious garlic bread that will please any taste.

Microwave macaroni and cheese: Make your own homemade mac and cheese in the microwave.

Pesto stuffed cherry tomatoes: Pesto, ricotta, and tomatoes come together for this delicious side that’s great for potlucks.

Scalloped potatoes: These scalloped potatoes are easy and creamy.

Bean and rice salad: This salad is delicious and cheap.

Green beans amandine: With this recipe, you can omit almonds for even more money savings.

Onion scones: In these simple scones, you’ll find lots of flavor.

Potato croquettes: These croquettes are a great way to use your leftover mashed potatoes.

Twice-baked potatoes (microwave): Make this cheap potato classic in the microwave for easy cooking.

Broccoli and cauliflower salad: This salad is cheap and packed full of nutrients.

Desserts

Satisfy your sweet tooth with these affordable dessert recipes.

Chocolate chip cookies: Create cookies with chocolate chips, M&Ms, nuts, or even pretzels with this recipe.

1 step brownies: Turn a chocolate box cake into simple, cheap brownies using this recipe.

Balsamic strawberries with marscapone cheese: A few delicious ingredients make for a tasty, cheap treat.

Cheap and quick cookies: This recipe will show you how to turn cake into cookies.

Lemonade pie: Simple ingredients go into this delicious, cheap pie.

Easy baked apples: Apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, butter, and raisins come together in this microwave recipe.

BTW, here’s an unusual tweak for one of them: Desserts #3, Balsamic strawberries with mascarpone (link is a dead website, so here’s another.)

Finish off with a sprinkle of coarse-ground black pepper. It works!

Here’s another strawberry-balsamic-pepper recipe, this time with no mascarpone.

He had started the research looking into “hysteria” which at the time was really usually referring to women’s symptoms of PTSD. It turned out that the reason so many woman had these symptoms is because so many of them had experienced sexual violence– especially CSA and incest at the hands of their fathers. 

At first he was making real progress, and it was through working with these women that he discovered that talk therapy could be used to treat trauma. The symptoms of PTSD were lessened when women were able to safely speak about their experiences out loud and be believed. 

But it wasn’t the women who paid for the therapy. It was their fathers, husbands, the same men who were perpetuating the violence in the first place. And Freud didn’t want to validate his patients (the women) if it meant making his clients (the men) unhappy.

So he came up with a new idea. These symptoms weren’t from trauma. The memories weren’t real. These women were just sexual beings as children and had penis envy and it made them lust for their fathers and fantasize about the rape that they had reported to him. That’s where the shittiest parts of Freud’s theories emerged. Another part of it besides just the monetary aspect, though, was that there was a feminist movement on the fringes starting up at the time and by publishing work about women’s CSA he would be aligning himself with it and therefore losing support, respect, funding, prestige from his male peers and from the psychological community at large. He literally made that gross victim blaming shit up to keep his own reputation with these fucks and to make sure he still got publication and fame.

By coming up with fake theory about little girls fantasizing about incest he not only fucked over generations of women, the feminist movement that was arising, and the entire psychology field for years to come, but he also completely swept away any progress made in understanding trauma and so we didn’t have any clue why men coming back from war had “hysteria” like women during WWI.

And our research on PTSD and trauma is still lacking to this day, especially because of the stigma that maybe traumatized people deserved it or wanted it or imagined it. People don’t want to believe it’s real. Perpetrators of traumatic violence want everyone to forget about it, not acknowledge it, or trivialize it.

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0959353596062015

If you don’t have access bc paywall, here’s a decent summary on Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Freudian_Coverup

Some vague proof:’

http://www.nytimes.com/1984/01/24/science/freud-secret-documents-reveal-years-of-strife.html?pagewanted=all&mcubz=0

An essay on the topic:

http://socialistreview.org.uk/404/whats-wrong-sigmund-freud

Anyway, props to Vladimir Nabokov who never missed a chance to call Freud out when his theories had utterly overwhelmed most of academia.

“I think he’s crude, I think he’s medieval, and I don’t want an elderly gentleman from Vienna with an umbrella inflicting his dreams upon me.”

This has led to many English papers positing that Nabokov is repressing his own admiration for Freud!!! Nabokov putting inside jokes about Freud in all of his novels is clearly a sign that he doesn’t really detest him as much as he wants us to think.

“Throughout, we will operate under the premise that Nabokov’s combativeness toward Freud is compelled by a deeper respect for his writing, and that Freud’s often aggressive rhetoric and sweeping claims disguise a current of artistic thought that could be called Nabokovian.” (X)

harry: that’s fine i used to sleep under the stairs at the dursleys

She was always better with the household potions than the high-level fancy-effects ones, but she took a NEWT in Potions and she can brew polyjuice.

And she takes his place.

Perhaps she overhears this at the Burrow, and has a year to prepare. Or perhaps she hears this in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, the daughter Harry saved from a basilisk and Lord Voldemort lying so pale and unconscious next to her, and she spends a month brewing the potion and so arrives to replace Harry the evening Aunt Marge shows up.

The place is a horror, a bland and soulless house (not a home) with lawn and garden pruned and weeded in a manner that speaks of much labor (there are calluses on Harry’s hands) and the boy yells at her, insults her, shoves her, and his father laughs. The woman (this, a mother?) purses her lips and sneers and orders Harry to weed the back garden.

Several hours later, exhausted and thirsty, hungry and hot, Molly comes back in and goes to Harry’s room to change clothes. The pile of Dudley’s broken or forgotten things is still here; there is nothing of Harry’s save the bed (no one spent money on this, but even she, with seven children to house and feed on a low-level ministry employee’s salary, would never have this lumpy thing for one of her children to sleep on) and a pile of clothes that look like they were bought for the other child (hand-me-downs are a fact of life, but never, never, like this).

When she comes down the stairs, she opens the cupboard under them. Imagines a child growing up here, amid the dust and the spiders, and sees red. The boy comes up behind her and pushes her in, laughing and calling out “Harry wants to go back in his cupboard!”

Perhaps Aunt Marge arrives at this juncture, and adds her own brand of contempt and viciousness to the mix. Perhaps the dog bites Molly, and the humans laugh, deriding the absent-mindedness that caused Harry to forget to run. Perhaps the response to the meal she cooks astounds Molly, who has never in her life dreamed that anyone would react to a meal she cooked with such an absence of thankfulness. Perhaps she innocently takes what seems to her a fair helping, and is lambasted for her greediness (”They were starving him, Mum!”, her poor manners (after theirs!), her general entitlement and ungratefulness (Harry Potter, ungrateful and spoiled?).

Perhaps, it is when Marge says “If there’s something wrong with the bitch, there’ll be something wrong with the pup” about Molly’s dear friend Lily, with no word of defense from Lily’s sister, that Molly’s rage is finally set free. But, still, there is more to come: perhaps Molly corrects this apparently-misinformed woman (misinformed how, though, and by whom?) on the manner of her friends’ deaths, and.

Well.

“They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on your decent relations” or whatever of it she manages to get out, because Molly has put so much effort into maintaining her temper that she has forgotten to maintain her disguise, and is growing, Harry’s messy black hair growing long and brightening to red (Petunia’s first thought is that he is turning into Lily, and no curse could paralyze her better than her sudden terrible fear), growing to tower over the seated Dursleys with a scrub sponge in one hand and a frying pan in the other, dripping soap onto Aunt Petunia’s pristine floor.

Molly Weasley has never heard or seen the muggle story Beauty and the Beast, but no revealed and vengeful fairy transformed from plain, poverty-stricken beggar woman to youthful and terrible magician could ever strike awe and terror into foolish, selfish hearts than Molly’s transformation in the other direction. She is the sort of woman that Petunia would scorn as low-class, that Vernon did—would—will—call “a dumpy sort of woman,” that Marge would sneer at and treat like a servant, that Dudley would dismiss as no one important—and they stare at her with that particular horror endemic to horrible people realizing they have made a very significant mistake.

What she does is scold them, in the tones of a disappointed and angry mother, about what sort of person Harry is. Vernon is the one who tries to argue, and she silences him. She tells them (such an unwilling audience, she notes with something very like sadistic glee, to hear good things said about their least favorite person) about how he somehow defeated Voldemort, about how he was kind to her son, about how he was good at Quidditch, about how he faced near-certain death to rescue a girl from two monsters, about how polite and hardworking and grateful he is, all the time, and how amazed she is that he turned out this way in spite of the truly deplorable example set for him by the four of them.

Aunt Marge, who has been cowed by shock and by this woman’s effortless shutting up of her brother but has no knowledge of magic, nor of the great and measureless power of anger born from love, to tell her why she should fear this woman, stands up and slaps Molly across the face and snaps, “Shut up, you delusional slut!”

(”Slut” has a historical use as a slur against servants. Marge, with her veneration of aristocracy and her pride in her own class status, knows this. Molly, with working-class heritage, Muggle and wizard alike, in her and her husband’s ancestry, knows this as well.)

Molly pulls her wand out and blasts Aunt Marge into the wall.

It happens to be the stairwell wall, and on the other side of it is the cupboard where they once stored an unwanted nephew. Molly waves her wand again, and bars appear, trapping her.

Marge has the sense to be given pause by something she can’t understand, but only momentarily. She opens her mouth to bellow with rage, and Molly casts again, and nothing comes out; Marge gapes like a frog and stares at her with hatred.

Molly continues. She tells them, now, about her friend Lily, and her friend James, and when Petunia sneers she finds herself paralyzed again, this time by magic that feels like she’s numb and freezing all at once. (This is not the standard body-bind curse, but something a Death Eater once used on her; the man was stupid enough to use the incantation out loud, and she has since given several Death Eaters reason to regret their comrade’s foolishness, though never with such satisfaction as she feels now.)

She launches next into a stinging list of everything they’ve done to Harry Potter in the last few hours, and everything she suspects them of doing to Harry Potter the rest of the time, and everything she worries that he’s never received from them. Vernon goes purple at the first time she mentions a lack of physical affection, and tries to bluster something out about why they should fake loving behavior to an unwanted burden. Midsentence, the sounds he is making stop being words, and they stop coming from his mouth; instead, a tremendous ripping fart makes the windows rattle in their panes, and Dudley, next to him, gags at what Molly is certain is a truly terrible smell.

“I curse you,” says Molly. “Henceforth every nasty thing you try to say will come out in the form of flatulence, and every nasty thing you think to yourself will stink up the air around you. I recommend you make yourself a more pleasant man, or your digestive problems will become a significant embarrassment to you.”

She turns to the furious form of Aunt Marge in the cupboard. “I curse you,” she says. “Why don’t you say something? Call me a slut again.” (I dare you.)

Marge starts off with “I dun’ know hoo ye thinks ye are—” and shuts herself up, horrified, at the distinctly lower-class accent and pronunciation and word choice that might have come from an illiterate scullery-maid or perhaps a street-going flower-seller. Molly has no ear for any difference in how the two might talk, but she knows low-class accents and high-class ones, and Marge’s is now certainly, thoroughly, the former.

“I imagine that won’t keep your mouth shut for long,” says Molly Weasley conversationally. “But in case it does, that’s not the only thing I did. You’ll slowly become every harmless thing you despise, and maybe somewhere along the lines you’ll grow a little humility.”

“Dudley Dursley,” she says, and Petunia lets out a screech that manages to be pleading. “Not my son … please.”

“I’m glad to see you have at least one redeeming quality, Petunia,” says Molly. “But I’m sure your sister would have said that to you, every time you ever interacted with her son.”

Petunia’s eyes fill up with tears.

“Luckily for you, I’m not you,” says Molly. “And luckily for him, he’s still a child. I won’t curse him.” Relief on Petunia’s face for an instant. “But I think this is fair.”

She waves her wand at Dudley, and then says, “Look at your mother.”

He does—with eyes as brilliantly green as his cousin’s.

“If you love your son, Petunia Dursley, you will learn to not despise the memory of your sister, whom you loved once.”

Petunia’s eyes are defiant, pained, relieved, sad.

“I’m also connecting this house to your behavior,” Molly tells her. “If you are cruel to anyone, the house will grow filthy. If I had done this when Harry was in your care, you would be living in squalor. Furniture rotting away, mold growing in the carpet and the walls, vermin of all kind. Tomorrow if you so much as address a cutting remark to a neighbor, you’ll think half a dozen stray cats came in and peed here, and cleaned up after themselves by evaporating it with a hairdryer.” 

(Arthur’s fascination with muggle objects is occasionally useful. She’s never really gotten the hang of the Drying Charm, but this is an even better use for the knowledge.)

“Harry will be staying with my family the rest of the summer. If Headmaster Dumbledore chooses to send him back next year, I trust you will appreciate that I can do much, much worse.”

She turns to leave; behind her in the doorway is the real Harry Potter, watching the scene play out with his green eyes as wide as owl’s eyes.

She retrieves his trunk through the bars of the stairwell, leaving the bars intact. “Key is in the toilet bowl upstairs,” she tells Vernon. “Have fun.” A truly wicked person would have put a snake in there along with it; Molly is, rather, a truly angry person, and as such, it’s a wad of spiderwebs, unicorn hair, and thin, stringy jellyfish tentacles of a magical species that stings mildly at odd moments in the middle of the night for a few days. She tells as much to Harry, and he grins.

So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist

We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.

I love Kat dearly

but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile

so one day she throws her back out

bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright

“But also I needed Tampons and like.  A Burrito, real bad.”

she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this

and, in an

impeccable

leap of reasoning, decides

“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.

But I can ARCH my back just fine.

SO 

I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,

And amble on down to the 7-11”

“And get me that Burrito”

It is, 

for context, 

after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.

Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.

Whatever.

Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.  

Fucking around in the burrito section

It’s also worth mentioning that Kat

1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention

2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so

tonight’s song is something from veggietales.

DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND

and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway

Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons

She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire, 

exactly 

how she used the shelves to climb up the counter 

like one of the boston robotics beasties

dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.

“Register’s broke.”

“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” "Really?  I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh!  OK!  Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”

Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about  "A Suspicious Individual" at tle 7-11. 

It took her 

FOUR

FUCKING 

YEARS