Disaster

Painland / Payneland Week Day 2: Old Married Couple

My respective headcanons are:

In the early days, Charles would always fix Edwin's bowtie whenever the former noticed it got a bit crooked, since he knew Edwin was pretty particular about that sort of stuff. But during cases, the bowtie would get crooked every 10 minutes that Charles just gave up. But he'd still fix up Edwin's bowtie before setting off on cases, out of habit.

Whereas for Edwin, Charles seemed to like having his collar popped up. That's it. That's the reason. Edwin doesn't quite understand the appeals of 80s fashion, but if it made Charles look cool and happy, Edwin would keep Charles's collar popped up by whatever means necessary.

Day 1 of @painlandweek 2026: Dancing Together/First Date

The first year Shane and Ilya live together, when the season ends, Shane goes to sleep and then just doesn’t wake up for a full day. Ilya, obviously, freaks the fuck out, tries to wake him and then when that fails, goes to check his pulse.

Unfortunately for Ilya, because Shane is a ridiculously fit athlete, his resting heart rate is shockingly low (hey Sid Crosby and your 36-38 bpm) and in Ilya’s panic he legit thinks Shane’s dead or at the very least experiencing some kind of heart issue and is in a coma.

Cue Ilya calling an ambulance, convinced his husband is a goner, only for Shane to wake up extremely confused with a room full of strangers and a stretcher next to his bed.

This is not metaphorical. I mean actual, literal pieces of paper/plastic/metal/whatever explicitly erected to inform the public.

“How did you know this was the right trail?” I read the sign.

“Wow, how did you know what that flower is?” There’s a SIGN.

“How did you know we needed to use the side door?” THERE IS A SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Just…why are we having such different experiences of the world? People can read. I KNOW they can read. There’s nothing wrong with their vision.

Just. READ. THE. GOD. DAMN. SIGN.

This also applies to:

Syllabi