I Am Gay*

Ground Control to Major Shlong

ever since I was little I knew I wanted to dedicate my formative years to imagining fictional scenarios

I do not want the ai overview. I want to read six wikipedia pages as god intended.

all cyberpunk stories are like “If you wanna crack open a cybercroissant this nasty, you’re gonna need a real top notch e-driller. i know a guy- Toledo Killswitch- he’s got the frag ordinance you need to grizzle this bocce ball.”

hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative

hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly

this is how eve got expelled from Eden

I like how bong can mean both penis and that big vertical disk that makes a lot of noise.

that's dong and gong. bong means neither of those things

This edible (fruit from the tree of knowledge) ain’t doing shit.

I’m naked.

get out of the fucking garden

$0

I’d buy that for a dollar.

Deal. 🤝

Im gonna hold an egg in my mouth for 2 hours to challenge myself.

OGAHAGSIGf

buddy that is beyond monkey brain, you went all the way back to reptile brain. These are real Dimetrodon hours.

This is the funniest fucking post on this site.

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

World Heritage Post

Everyone here is dead.

You bad bad boy. Where are mommy's nuclear launch codes

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

just here to say i started using this joke on middle schoolers and it completely disarms them in every situation thanks so much

Numbers don’t lie but people can sure as fuck pick and choose the numbers they give you and phrase things to make them sound like they mean things they don’t

learn fucking stats or at least how they can hurt

As a wise man once said: There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Incredibly lifelike

He’s squaring up alright

there is no fucking way is this may 2022

Being nice to someone you don't like is not manipulation btw it's being civil

Mmm no, this is like seeking validation. Ofc it's best to be nice but if I don't like you or we both dislike eachother, then there's no reason for us to communicate or be around eachother. It's not about being immature, I would much rather not put myself in such a situation.

Have you ever had a job

wheres your whimsy. wheres your fucking whimsy