advantage, varnsen!

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

The funniest part of A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker is a 19 year old who has not locked in yet and plays with toys and sleeps in his childhood bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house and Leia Organa is a 19 year old with a mission to save the galaxy from fascism. Luke has never left his hometown, Leia just watched her planet be blown up. He’s peeved his uncle is asking him to do his chores, she’s imprisoned for resisting the government. You relate to them both but they’re on complete opposite sides of the 19 year old life stage spectrum.

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

punk is rock

punk=meat

punk =ham

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

when you think about it, unleashing a plague of frogs is fucking hilarious

God said “let’s do a silly one”

if a girl sends u saucy pics u gotta lose ur shit and act like u never seen a titty before its jus etiquette

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

"she thinks this is bonding behavior" my friend this has BECOME your bonding behaviour