The Heart

Amy gapes at him. “We were in the middle of dinner with your friends!”

“And you didn’t think to tell me about it later?”

The question surprises her, quelling her defensives. “No, honestly,” her tone softens. “I don’t think about Scott that much.”

Nathan scoffs. “You put me in position where I was out of the loop at dinner—with Scott, with Lyndy—”

Amy retracts. “With Lyndy?”

“Yes!” He stands from the truck and takes a step closer. “You should have seen the way Scott was looking at Lyndy—interacting with her—it was so delicate, like she was so precious to him and he was trying to soak up every moment with her…like,” Nathan cocks his head, emphasizing his point, “Like she reminded him of someone that meant a lot to him—and I watched them together, and I totally didn’t get it.”

“Okay. So,” She works hard to keep her body calm and her voice soft. “What would you like me to tell you Nathan? Should I go around the ranch with you, pointing out people and places that meant something to Ty?” She raises her flat palm as if she is presenting something, her voice changes to mimic a tour guide. “‘This is the truck that meant the world to us and here’s why,’ oh and ‘this is Clint, here’s why he’s so important to Ty,’ and oh ‘here’s where he—’”

“Okay, Amy,” he puts his hand out. “I got it. I only meant that Scott already came up between us and you didn’t say anything.  You knew my history with Scott and you didn’t mention that it was similar to Ty’s history with him during or after the dinner with Josh.”

She shakes her head. “It’s really not that similar.”

“Amy…Come on…” he warns incredulously before turning his back to her and returning to his truck.

She follows him. “Why does this matter so much to you? Please tell me why you’re picking a fight with me just because I didn’t tell you that Scott had a history with Ty.”

He turns back to her and they stand facing each other parallel to the truck’s flatbed. “It matters to me that Ty and I have something in common other than you and Lyndy. And it matters to me that you left me out of the loop at dinner with Lou and Scott.”

“Okay,” Amy relaxes and surrenders. “Okay. I hear you. I’m sorry.” Nathan nods his acceptance of her apology. “I just—” she surprises them both by continuing what seemed like a finished conversation. He places a hand on his hip. She takes a deep breath, “I thought we just agreed the other day that we were talking too much about Ty. Nathan, I don’t want us to talk him all the time.”

“For who?” He challenges her lightly. “For you or for me?”

“Honestly, Nathan,” she speaks gently. “For both of us…and he’s been coming up a lot lately—and I’m happy to tell you about him and give you a few key points in my history with Ty—but not everything. I don’t want to live in the past, I don’t want to be in that headspace all the time. I want a relationship with you and I want to build our own history together.” She lets the words sink in for a moment. “But look at us—we having our first fight—and it’s over Ty.”  She steps back in reflection. “Really? I don’t want that.”

He shakes his head. “This isn’t about Ty,” he clarifies with confidence. “This is about you not telling me relevant information.” He pauses to make his point. In the silence, he figures out the best way to express himself. Softening, he starts, “I meant what I said when I told you I want you to feel like you tell me things. Amy, I want to know what’s important to you, what you’re thinking about when things come up—and not be out of the loop, lost on the important subtext or implications in a conversation.”  

“Okay,” she agrees softly. It takes her a moment to realize Nathan’s concern over her withholding information from him is something Ty would repeatedly get upset with her about. She takes a single step closer. “You’re right. That’s fair.”

“Thank you,” he reaches out to touch her for the first time that day, resting a hand on her shoulder. “And for the record, I never minded hearing about Ty.”

“Why?” She asks, amazed at his kindness and empathy. “Why don’t you mind it?”

“Because,” his thumb strokes her shoulder and he smiles. “I love hearing about your life and I love getting to know you. I don’t think you know how incredible you are, but I do know that Ty is a big part of that, so that’s okay to acknowledge.”

"Ah, Lou," Scott puts a hand on the small of Lou's back. "I was Nathan's rodeo captain."

She narrows her eyebrows at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You came to practice all the time, Lou."

"I don't remember this—"

Nathan watches their interaction and remembers he had the same reaction to Josh at dinner the other night. He notes the irony and then parts his lips to explain.

"Mommy," Lyndy interrupts. "I'm hungry."

Scott crouches down to meet Lyndy. "Lyndy Borden," He reaches out and starts tickling her. She bursts out laughing. "Did you say you were hungry?"

"Yes! Ahhh!" Lyndy giggles. "You're tickling me!"

"Well, you must be hungry," Scott stops tickling her and gives her a hug. "You're a growing girl," he combs his fingers through her hair and tucks a strand behind her ear. He lowers his voice. Emotions fill his tone as he whispers, "Every time I see you, you're bigger."

Nathan's brow wrinkles as he watches the interaction. He notices a certain love and melancholy in Scott's tone and expression that he can't quite place.

Lyndy holds onto him, keeping him crouched beside her. "I'm going to be eight soon."

As they talk, Lou directs the rest to bring out different food dishes and drink options. Nathan hardly notices the commotion, though, still somewhat transfixed and confused by Scott and Lyndy. He thought Lou and Scott had the most history in the room.

"I know," Scott assures her. He adjusts Lyndy's shirt, realigning it after his tickles had twisted it around. "On September 29th."

Lyndy's eyes grow bigger. "You know my birthday?"

"Hmm," Scott nods. "I know your birthday."

"Lyndy," Amy re-enters the kitchen. "Guys! Dinner is served. Are you coming?"

The Canadian summer night serves as the perfect backdrop for Nathan's first dinner at the ranch. Dishes pass hands and he serves himself, enjoying the company and natural chatter that comes with a bigger family. Even without Jack, Tim, and Lisa, Nathan understands why Scott would rearrange his schedule to have dinner here when he could.

"So, Scott," Lou starts. "You were Nathan's rodeo captain in high school?"

Scott and Nathan glance at each other before answering. "Only for a year. He was a decent bronc rider, even better student."

"Thanks," Nathan takes a sip of water and then his brow furrows. "I think."

"No, no," Scott laughs. "I mean…you're a really good listener. Sure, you had good instincts in the shoot, but from what I remember—you incorporated feedback really well. You listened to, not just me, but the whole coaching team, and took your time to think about how best to do what we advised you to do."

The whole table is silent for a moment at Scott's high praise. After another moment, Nathan recovers and is able to say, "Thanks, Scott."

Lou turns to Amy, and the two share a meaningful look. To avoid noting the irony of how Scott had mentored both Ty and Nathan, they look away from each other. Amy turns to help Lyndy and Lou takes a bite of her pasta salad.

"So, Amy…" Scott fills the silence. "I looked over the upcoming dates for the youth clinic fundraisers you sent me. I think I can make the fall one work."

"Oh, great." She perks up. "Thank you. That means a lot."

The mysterious image of Ty and his youth clinic sends a jolt through Nathan. He tilts his head from side to side, trying to figure it out.

"I didn't know you asked Scott to speak." Lou nudges Amy. "That's actually pretty perfect."

"I'm happy to," Scott shares.

"Why?" Nathan blurts out before he can help himself. When everyone looks at him in surprise, he watches Amy's eye drift down. He tries to recover gently. "I mean…sorry," he catches himself. Then, his expression softens along with his tone of voice. "Why is it perfect for Scott to speak?"

"Oh, sorry," Lou starts, "Scott was also a foster kid and he was really close to Ty, so—" She stops and looks at Scott.

Nathan turns from Lou to Amy. "What?"

"It's not a big deal." Scott takes a drink of water before turning to Nathan and explaining. "I, uh, was one of Lou and Amy's Mom's strays. Marion took me in when I was in high school with you guys and I had nowhere to go and she taught me about horses. Years later she did the same thing for Amy's husband Ty." Nathan nods in the information he already knew about Ty. "I obviously stayed close to the family and ended up bonding with Ty and mentoring him as a vet throughout most of his time at Heartland. So, Amy asked me to speak because I'm close to both foster youth and Ty."

"Ah, okay." Nathan blinks in the information. "That makes more sense."

He turns to Amy. She notices the hurt in his expression, he notices the regret in hers. "Sorry," she whispers.

"Yeah…" he responds under his breath. "You could have said something at Josh's."

Amy turns further towards him, blocking off the rest of the table. "I didn't want Ty to interfere with our night."

He shakes his head. His eyelids drift down and he adjusts his napkin as a distraction.

"Oh," Scott's gaze darts between Amy and Nathan. "Wow. You two?"

Lou breaks into a wide smile. She gives Scott a playful nudge. "I said the same thing!"

Scott engages with Lou, sharing a smile between them. "Really?"

"Okay," Amy reaches for the bread basket, purposely blocking off Lyndy and Katie. "Kids at the table."

Katie looks up from the drawing with Lyndy that she picked up to distract her from the conversation almost as soon as they all sat down. "We didn't hear anything. We working on drawing the barn at sunset."

As the rest of the table turns to praise Lyndy's art skills, Nathan's face falls.

"It's not my concert, and it's not a big deal, and," she gestures to his truck, "You said you had to leave tonight, so why would I—"

"Come on," Caleb tilts his head as if the answer were obvious. "You're an amazing singer and-"

"Okay…that's a bit of a stretch there, cowboy." Amy rolls her eyes and downplays her talent. Caleb, she thinks to herself, thinks I'm amazing at everything, so it doesn't mean much.

Caleb ignores her. "I love hearing you sing—"

"It's not just me, Caleb. Katie wants to try leading for a song—"

"Yeah, I heard her practicing. She sounds great."

"Caleb. Do not make a big deal out of this. I just want to go have some fun for an evening, blow off some steam."

Nathan notes the diametrical ways Amy and Caleb describe the same event. Caleb's high praise and excitement stand in stark contrast to Amy's quiet humility.

"Yeah," Caleb promises. "So do I."

Amy rubs her temple, unsure. "Caleb…"

"I can postpone my drive for a few hours." He quickly offers. "They said you guys are going on at 9?"

"Yeah." She pauses and then adds, "If you're coming, you're not driving back tonight. Ask Lou for a dude ranch key."

Caleb breaks into one of his wide, over-excited smiles. "Thank you!"

As he climbs down the fence, Nathan can't help but speak out. "Caleb, where is this thing?"

"No—" Amy tries interjecting.

"At the Blue Bull Bar, downtown," he says, jumping off the second railing pole and turning back towards the house.

With Caleb's back turned, Nathan returns to Amy's side, riding closer and resting an arm on her leg.

He tilts her head at her, teasing, "Anything you want to tell me?"

"Uh..." Amy decides to ignore Caleb's interruption and picks up where they left off. "I did actually put Lyndy to bed. But, as it turns out, I don't think I'm free to do anything with you tonight, so…"

"No, apparently, you have very amazing plans for tonight."

"No," she pulls her leg back from his hand. "Not amazing. Blow-off steam, low-stakes kind of plans."

"Hey," Nathan points to himself. "I like low-stakes kind of plans."

"Nathan," Amy's head drops. "Come on. My whole family's gonna be there—"

"It's a public place. I can hide in the crowd."

"You haven't heard me sing before…and I wasn't planning on like—I don't know—having you there tonight."

Nathan retreats. "Do you really not want me to come?"

"No, it's not that," Amy clarifies. "I don't want to worry about you being there."

"Because of your family?"

"No, because…" She can't find any new words to express her hidden vulnerability and secret desire to impress him. Her repeated words come out as a breathless whisper, inundated with meaning, "You haven't heard me sing before."

"Okay," Nathan raises his palm, warning, "Let's not get overly dramatic here."

Amy defends him. "Nathan likes to insist he is only friendly competition."

"Oh, I see," Josh teases. "And you buy that?"

"Hey," Nathan interjects, standing up for himself.

"I like to stay out of the beef business," she tells Josh.

"How diplomatic of you." Josh puts the last steak on the grill. "And what does your family think of this whole—" He motions between them for a second time. "Situation?"

"Uh—" Amy starts, but is thankful to be interrupted by Hannah rejoining the group.

"So, Amy," Hannah passes out the beers to Josh and Nathan before taking a swig of her own. "You don't drink?"

"Hannah." Nathan's eyes widen in warning.

"It's fine," Amy smooths the moment over with a smile. "Yeah, I don't drink."

"Recovering alcoholic?"

"Not me," Amy says simply. "It just tore my family apart when I was a kid."

Hannah's eyelids fall over her in regret. "I'm such a jerk. I'm so sorry."

"No biggie," she brushes it off and takes a sip of water. After a few moments, true silence enters the group and Amy realizes she is the best person to break it. "Josh, you grew up with Nathan?"

Relief floods over the group as Josh replies, "Yeah. We participated in the rodeo school together as kids."

Amy nods. "Oh, fun."

Josh continues, "We did rodeo all through high school together too—well, until he left—joined the high school team and everything."

"Was the rodeo school different than the high school team?"

"Well," Nathan starts. "It was led by a captain, a peer, rather than a coach."

"Oh, right," Amy looks between them. "And did you prefer having a captain or coach?"

"A peer captain was nice," Nathan shrugs. "More of an equal."

"I liked our captain," Josh adds.

Amy asks, "Who was your captain?"

"Uh…" Josh tries to think. "Scott Cardinal, I think. At least in Grades 9 and 10."

Nathan notices a wide smile break on Amy's face. He's both enchanted and mystified by it. "What? What's so funny?"

Amy shakes her head. "Scott's a close family friend. He dated my sister for a while."

"Really?" Josh says in disbelief.

"Oh, no way," Hannah joins in. "That's wild."

Josh tries to think back. "Oh, my, gosh, your sister is Lou Fleming?"

Amy nods and raises her eyebrows. "The one and only."

"Wow, I remember now," Josh shares. "She would come to watch practice sometimes. They were really an item."

Nathan scrunches up his face. "I don't remember any of that."

"Man, it was after you left." Josh nudges him. "That's why. I think they were seniors at that point."

"That sounds right," Amy confirms.

Josh turns his attention back to the steaks. He tests them out with a fork one by one and then declares. "Steaks are done." He plops each one on a serving plate. "Honey, is the salad on the table?"

"Brought it out with the drinks."

"Perfect," Josh says. He makes his way to the picnic table and the rest of them follow with drinks still in hand. They take their seats and start passing around the food.

"The steak is really good, Nathan," Hannah says, already eyeing her second bite.

"Hey," Josh speaks over Nathan's thanks. "I cooked it."

"Yeah, but," Hannah points her fork at Nathan. "He produced it."

"I think you pay compliments to the cook," Josh teases.

Hannah teases back, "I think you pay compliments to the guests."

Josh smiles and then changes the subject. "Amy, Nathan tells me you work with horses. How long have you been doing that?"

"Uh…a long time," Rather than do the math, Amy answers, "Since I was fifteen."

"Wow," Josh exclaims, finding new respect for her. "When Nathan and I were fifteen we spent our free time racing tractors and trying and failing to do wheelies with our dads' trucks."

Amy turns to Nathan, amused, "Did you really?"

Nathan shakes his head, "Trying and failing. You heard him say failing, right?" Amy chuckles.

Josh picks up the conversation. "You've really trained horses since you were a teenager? What—you didn't go around chasing around farm chickens with the rest of us?"

"Hey," Amy raised her hands and then gestures to herself. "I have chased my fair share of farm chickens."

"Huh-uh." Josh teases her. "What else do you do for fun?"

"For fun?" Amy challenges him. "On a busy working ranch with multiple family businesses in full swing?"

"Come on." Hannah insists. "You must do something just for fun, just for you."

"Um," Amy thinks. "Fun for me. Um, I have a really cool daughter who is fun to hang out with. I ride my horse out in the foothills all the time…and other than that—I don't know, I enjoy singing whenever I get the chance."

"You sing?" Hannah exclaims excitedly. "That's so cool."

Nathan rapidly blinks in the new information and then stares at Amy in awe. "I didn't know that. I wish—" he tries to search for a word to describe his new amazement and new longing to hear her sing.

Hannah continues. "Is your singing more of a private thing? Or do you ever sing in front of people?"

"Well, I'm not going to sing in front of you now," Amy's eyes widen and tilts her head playfully. "But, yeah, I sing in front of people, sometimes at weddings and a couple of local spots, mostly with my grandpa."

"Really?" Nathan manages to ask.

Amy turns to him. For the first time, she sees the amazement in his eyes. "Not very often. It's not a big deal."

"That's so cool, though," Hannah says.

"Thanks."

"So, you're a part of your big family ranch, you have a cool daughter, you sing, and you've been training horses since you were a teenager," Josh summarizes. "Would you say we've got a pretty good idea now of who Nathan is dating?"

Amy shrugs. "Sure. Pretty good…But I wouldn't really call what I do horse training. I—uh—I work with horses who have behavior problems and try to get the root of their issues."

Hannah sits up straighter and looks at Amy with new eyes. "Oh, my, god. You're Amy Fleming. You're the Miracle Girl."

For Amy, who has experienced similar responses to Hannah's over the years, navigating the moment comes naturally. She neither confirms or denies the title, but rather offers a reserved smile instead. After a moment, she tucks her chin, letting the smile fade quietly.

"Nathan!" Hannah playfully hits his shoulder. "You didn't tell us you were dating the famous Miracle Girl!"

For Nathan, Amy's Miracle Girl status still feels new to him. To see her reference as that in a third-party promotional material was one thing; to hear people refer to her as that in person—especially his friends—was another. The mixed feelings of pride, awe, and reverence at her talent and skill juxtapose everything about her that he fell in love with: her kindness and empathy, her humbleness and respect for all creatures, and her strength and integrity. "It's just not how I would describe her," he shares honestly.

Amy's heart swells at Nathan's response. Under the table, she reaches out to give his hand a simple squeeze.

Josh watches Hannah's excitement and notices the contrast to both Amy's and Nathan's hesitant reserve. In an attempt to bridge the gap, he chimes in, "I think we saw one of your clinics once. I was visiting some family up in the foothills and my nieces were dying to see you."

Amy can't do much with the vague memory. Having no desire to dwell on the subject, she replies simply, "That's sweet."

"Nathan," Josh redirects the table's attention. "Have you been to one of Amy's clinics?"

"Oh, um," Nathan and Amy turn towards each other, feeling the other out. He's unsure of how to respond until he notices the levity in her expression and the playfulness in her eyes. He matches her lightheartedness in his tone, raising his eyebrows and teasing, "I haven't been invited to one yet."

Amy laughs and Nathan smiles at her. Josh and Hannah watch them together, enchanted by their interplay. "I had no idea you wanted to go," she teases.

"Oh," Hannah jumps in before Nathan can respond. "You have to go."

"He's seen me work, Hannah," Amy assures her. "He knows the deal."

"I'm sure it's not the same," Hannah proclaims. "You're great in front of a crowd."

"No." He grows quiet. "I stopped when my mom took me to Montana after she divorced my dad during grade 10. I just didn't have the same friend group anymore."

Amy takes a moment to digest the information. "That must have been hard."

"Yeah…" Though he's always appreciated Amy's kind and thoughtful responses, tonight is the first time he notes how soft, kind and understanding they are. Her empathy prompts him to continue. "Especially moving in the middle of high school. I was already a shy and sort of withdrawn kid—plotting me down in the middle of strangers expecting me to make friends didn't help."

She nods in agreement. "I'm sure it didn't."

He leans down to kiss her shoulder as thanks for her understanding. Rather than the silence filling the space between them, the sounds of dusk come to life around them: crickets chirp from their hidden spots among the grasses and the birch trees, the brook babbles as the water runs through it, and an owl hoots far off in the distance.

"So, Amy, tell me—" he starts and she turns to face him. Instead of continuing, however, he sees the brightness in her face and can't help but lean down to kiss her. She smiles as she meets his lips, once, twice, before they lose themselves in each other. She turns further into him as he tightens his hold around her. When he does, she falls back on him and he slowly lies down, guiding her on top of him. He deepens the kiss and they move together in unison.

Still gripping each other, they turn on their sides, only to be stopped by Amy's: "Ahh!"

"What?" Nathan quickly releases her. "What happened?"

"I'm fine," Amy pulls a small rock from beneath the blanket. "Stupid rock."

Only when he sees her smile and the rock in her hand does Nathan start laughing. Amy groans and tosses the rock aside. She turns back to him, sees his wide smile, and matches it. They share laughter with each other, caught in the moment. When it passes, Amy leans in to give him a quick kiss.

"You know," she sits up and adjusts her shirt, moving back to the edge of the blanket. "I was collecting firewood before you showed up and it's starting to get dark—so…"

"That's—uh—" Nathan sits up and gets his bearings. "That's a good idea. I'll help you."

"Thanks."

The two work together to start a fire. It does not take them long since both have spent nights in the wilderness constantly throughout their lives. They put the safeguards in place and kindle the fire together, watching the flames grow to a stable point where they can feel the heat on their faces.

Amy returns to the blanket and Nathan takes a place beside her. They watch the fire together, letting the flames dance in front of them.

Amy turns to him, "Did you want to ask me something?" she whispers, careful not to ruin the moment. "Before?"

"Oh…" Nathan nods and reaches out to entwine their fingers. "You seem to have a real gift at this empathy thing—not only with me—but especially around horses. And I was just wondering if that's how you got named the 'miracle girl.'"

She laughs out loud at his question. He watches her face light up again as she sits up straighter and squeezes his hand.

"What?" he asks, bemused. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"We've known each other for—like—a year," she shakes her head with a smile. "And you ask me this now? If people ask me, they mention it like—within the first five minutes of meeting me."

"Well, I'm not most people," he leans in for a quick kiss. "Now am I?"

"No, you most certainly are not." She kisses him again.

When they break apart, he gives her arm a squeeze. "Seriously, what's the story with the name?"

She sighs. "People started calling me that in high school."

"In high school?" He clarifies, shock evident on his face.

"Yeah…" She debates for a moment on whether to tell him the whole story. "Uh…My school bus was involved in a multi-vehicle crash on the highway." She notices the concern on his face and then adds, "No one on the bus got hurt…Anyway, one of the vehicles was a horse trailer and it was tipped over and was wrecked pretty badly. Once I saw the trailer, I started franticly looking for the horses out the bus window. I see a horse—Caesar—trapped in some barbed wire on the side of the road, freaking out. So, against everyone's protests, I get off the bus to calm Caesar down and try and get him free from the wire…I must have been so focused on Caesar that I didn't notice everyone staring at me…and then I found out someone was filming me as I was trying to just get this horse to calm down…on top of that, I also found out Caesar is this big famous Olympic hopeful and soon afterward his famous owner is asking me to work with him. Someone gave me the Miracle Girl name from watching the video of me calming down Caesar and then it just turned into this huge thing that I did not want or ask for...but I wanted to help Caesar and the name kind of just stayed around…So…"

"Wow…that's quite a story."

Amy scoffs. "I don't know about that. I just wanted to you to know—with obviously too many details."

"No," He puts his arm around her and squeezes her shoulder. "I like the details. Thank you for the details."

She rolls her eyes. "Uh-huh."

Nathan goes over the story in his head. "You were working with Olympic hopefuls in high school? That's a lot of pressure for someone so young."

"Yeah," she nods. He watches her eyes grow to saucers and realizes how big a deal his observation is. "It was a lot of pressure—and not just with Caesar. I worked with a couple of really big-name horses in high school…looking back on it—" She takes a deep breath, realizing, "It was actually crazy."

He turns to her and his voice softens, "Was this all after your mom died?"

"No," he tells her softly and she can see the sincerity behind his eyes. "I don't know…" Nathan looks down and tries to find enough courage for his confession. "I guess I'm just scared."

Amy's heart swells as his words sink in. Compassion seeps from her as she reminds herself of how long it took him to be open and ready for a new relationship with her. Her voice breaks as she whispers, "I know."

"It's not just my previous fears about relationships. It's—" He finally looks at her. "Amy, every day, I'm falling more in love with you—and then I keep hearing about how great your relationship was with Ty—"

"We have been talking about him too much—"

He shakes his head softly. "That wasn't my point."

She blinks. "Okay…"

"I'm scared," he reiterates. "Because I love you. Because I want to know you and I want to be with you. And you were with Ty for almost half your life. That's a long time, Amy. And part of knowing you means knowing what Ty meant to you." Nathan pauses for a moment to emphasize his point. He tries to look for clues in her expression to indicate how she's receiving his grand declaration: her chest rises and falls as if she needs more oxygen. He continues before his courage to be vulnerable runs out. "So, when Caleb and Lou describe you and Ty together—how deeply in love both of you were, how strong you were together—I can't help but want that for us. But, with Ty, I'm afraid that we can't have the same type of space in your heart."

Only when he finishes pouring his heart out does he look at her again. She can't meet his gaze. She focuses on everything around them, except him, before settling on a bluebird in the distance. Her chest has stopped rising and falling and now holds still, permanently expanded like a balloon filled with too much air, stretching itself out far past its own popping point.

He waits for her to speak. Regret and humiliation rise in him when she stays silent. "I'm sorry, Amy. I know that wasn't fair to say."

As Amy watches the bluebird, she exhales, remembering how her mom believed bluebirds brought happiness. She smiles to herself and only when the bluebird flies away does she turn back to him. Her small smile offers him hope.

"It is fair," she finally says breathlessly. "There's nothing wrong with wanting a strong and loving relationship. I want that for us too."

The quick shift in mood, from regret to joy, happens too fast for Nathan to fully process. He looks at her from the corner of his eyes with happy disbelief on his face. "Really?"

She shrugs, relaxing him further. "I mean, we're not going to have the same type of relationship that Ty and I had, and I don't want the same type of relationship. That was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of relationship," she explains and his faces falls. She notices his discouragement and adds, "Honestly I'd rather avoid some of really high highs and the really low lows that Ty and I had to go through to have the type of relationship we did…But Nathan," she reaches for hand and entwines their fingers. "I have as much space in my heart for you as we're able to create." She takes a deep breath. "The depth and strength of a relationship just builds with time." Amy pauses to look at him with empathy, "You know that."

"Well, I told you—I'm in this. I'm not going anywhere."

"Hmm," Amy leans in for a kiss. "That's one of the things I love about you."

"The fact that I like being at home alone, on my ranch?" He raises his eyebrows and then takes a risk by adding: "Caleb said Ty was restless, always off on adventures." He takes a beat. "Is that true?"

It throws Amy off for a moment to hear Caleb's descriptions of Ty through Nathan. "Uh," she scratches the back of her neck. "Not always, but he could be."

"Haven't you described yourself as a homebody?"

"Come on," She tilts her head at him, asking for a little credit. "I can love that he loved exploring the world and I can love that you love staying home. Ty spent his time the way he wanted to spend it and I want you to love how you spend your time. Just because I love spending my time the way that you do, doesn't mean that I wanted Ty to spend his time any differently than he did—it could be hard, sometimes, but that's part of who he was."

Nathan nods in the information. "Okay."

"Nathan, honestly," She starts seriously. "I don't think this comparison thing is healthy. You don't have to worry about Ty—"

"But I do, Amy." He meets her seriousness with his own. "He matters to you and he matters to Lyndy and he matters to your friends and family. I want to be able to hold my own and have some reference points when the topic comes up."

"Fair enough," she agrees halfway. "But that doesn't mean you should compare the two of you or our two relationships. I don't think that's fair to anyone."

"Yeah, but," he looks at her. "Don't you?"

"Only when you ask about it," she retorts sharply.

Nathan bites his lip at her curt reply. For a moment, he doesn't know what to say or do. They sit in an awkward silence before his curiosity forces him to speak. "Okay. I have one more question," he confesses and her head falls in defeat. "It's the last one I've been wanting to ask you and then I'll really stop, I promise."

Amy narrows her eyes at him, playfully doubting him. "Really? One question?"

He nods and then takes a deep breath. "Do you ever wonder what Ty would think of me…of us?" He lets the question sit between them before continuing, "I mean…Caleb says one thing, Lou says another. I hear opinions from them, but you haven't really voiced anything regarding me and Ty." He pauses to give her a chance to speak. When she chooses not to take it, he continues. "I keep telling myself our relationship is our relationship and I know it is. But I just wonder how you think about it."

She meets his gaze. He holds steady while she searches him, wondering what to do, what to say. When she notices the sincerity in his eyes, she takes a deep breath and starts. "Ty and I never talked about it."

Slightly confused, Nathan's forehead creases. "About what?"

"What would we want to happen if either of us weren't here anymore. We talked about godparents for Lyndy in case both of us died—not one of us."

Nathan nods, not knowing what to say, hoping that she'll continue without him having to push her or say something he'd regret.

Amy takes her time before speaking. "It's not like he was sick—had some cancer or some other illness. Then, maybe we would have had a moment to talk about what he wanted me to tell Lyndy or if he wanted me to find someone or not. But it wasn't like that. He was here, talking to me one minute, and the next—he was on the ground, unresponsive."

Nathan digests the information quietly. He has trouble trying to imagine the scene she describes.

She continues quietly, "I sometimes wonder what conversations we would have had, what we would have said, what we would have done if we knew he was gonna go…I have my own guesses." She sighs and shakes her head. "But I'm not sure if they actually matter at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know…" She reminds herself of his original question. "He would have liked you as a neighbor. He liked people that treated animals well. Though he would done anything to be loyal to Grandpa with the cattle business. As for us together…I know there's part of him that would hate the idea of any other guy in my life. Part of him always felt like that, even when we weren't together. He could be jealous and overly protective but he matured with time."

"Okay…" Nathan notes that her description aligns with Caleb's words about Ty.

"I also know there was another part of him, the best part of him, would have been so grateful to you. All he wanted was for me to be happy. And you make me happy, Nathan. So, Ty really would be happy that I found someone who I can love, who loves me and treats Lyndy so well. You are probably better than he could have ever imagined—because you're better than I ever imagined, Nathan."

"Amy…"

"But what you need to understand is—we'll never actually know. So, I don't want to make you or I crazy by wondering too much about it." She pauses for emphasis. "Ty doesn't get a say in our relationship. And I can't control other people's opinions. They're going to say what they're going to say. That doesn't mean that they know what they're talking about. The only people that matter in our relationship are you and me. Okay?"

"Okay." He agrees, blown away by her maturity and thoughtfulness. "You and me."

"You and me," she repeats with confidence. Then she softens, "Does that help quiet the busy wheels turning in your head?"

"It does, actually," he smiles. "Thanks."

"So…can we enjoy the time we have together and try not to make ourselves crazy worrying about people that aren't here and unanswerable questions?"

"I would like that."

"Good…because," she reaches for him and slides herself closer. "I know many other ways that we can make ourselves crazy."

He follows her lead, wrapping his arms around her. "Oh, really?" he teases with a kiss. He guides her down to the blanket, never breaking their kiss. He adjusts himself above her and then tightens his hold around her.

Lou laughs uncomfortably and raises her arms in an I-don't-know expression. "What? I don't know. I'm surprised. I had no hint from Amy that this was going on, so I just don't want to put my foot in my mouth or say something out of bounds." When Nathan does not respond right of way, Lou adds, "Believe me, holding my tongue is growth for me."

Nathan lets out a small chuckle. "Okay." Lou's small joke allows relief to settle back in his body for the first time since she found him with Amy in the barn.

"I'm happy for Amy…if you know, she's happy. I need to talk to her. But I'd be really happy for you guys if she was happy—and you too. I know you're a good guy, Nathan."

"Thanks." A smile tugs at Nathan's lips. "I want her to be happy too."

Lou nods. "Good."

He looks at her, still hesitant in the seat beside him. "But you have questions."

She turns him with a warning look. "I wouldn't be me if my mind didn't fill up with questions when I see my sister with a guy in the barn…but I can talk to Amy later, I don't have to ask you."

"Ask me," Nathan shrugs. "It's okay."

A new-found respect for him floods over her. "Okay." She adjusts herself in her seat with growing anticipation. "I know you guys have been friends…but how long has this—" she interlaces her fingers together. "Thing been going on?"

"Uh…" He can't help smiling at her interlaced fingers. "Not long. Less than a month."

"Okay…" Lou tries to recall any recent changes she's noticed in Amy. When nothing stands out, she remembers how long Amy can take when making decisions. "But you've probably talked about it for longer."

Nathan hides his smirk by looking over his shoulder to enter the main road. "Probably."

Lou chuckles and shakes her head, "Of course."

"What does that mean?"

"I just know Amy can take her time making decisions."

Nathan bites his lip, now unsure of how much to share. "It wasn't that. It was a lot of things."

"Oh. Okay." Lou's voice raises in surprise. Silence returns to the truck for several moments as Nathan continues to drive down the highway. "You know my dad and Grandpa are going to have a problem with this?"

"Yup." He keeps his reply short, having no desire to discuss potential issues with Tim and Jack at the moment. "I know."

"They can be pretty brutal, and not just because you're—well—" she motions to him and then to the 'Pryce Family Beef' sign in his truck. "You. They're unjustly hard on—" she catches herself, not sure how to describe Peter and Ty to Nathan. "The guys in our lives."

Nathan was expecting—almost waiting for Lou to mention Ty. He thought it would come sooner. He turns towards her and catches her eye. "You mean Peter and Ty."

"Not just Peter and Ty. But, yeah…" For the second time, Lou examines him with a mixture of surprise, impressment, and respect. "Did you and Amy talk about Ty?"

Nathan takes a deep breath. "A little."

Lou nods. "Okay."

Nathan bites his lip when Lou keeps her response short, unsure of how much he wants to talk about him. Fighting against his instinct to keep quiet, he asks, "Is there anything you want to tell me or that I should know?"

"Those are two different questions. I'm not one to talk about him. He, uh, he's hard to describe to someone who didn't know him. He was a really good guy who had more than his share of demons. But, man, he was so in love with her. Even being married myself, I was jealous of what they had." She looks over to see deep emotion in Nathan's face hiding under his blank expression. "I said too much. See, I told you—I put my foot in my mouth."

"It's okay, Lou. You didn't say too much."

"It's just…He was really like a brother to me and they were together a long time. He died suddenly out-of-blue, so it was a real shock."

"I'm sorry," is all he can say.

Lou waves off his apology. "It's really okay, Nathan."

They let Lou's words hang comfortably between them. Lou relaxes against the truck door, watching the Alberta hills pass by them.

Nathan tries to quiet his mind like it seems Lou has done beside him. One question keeps circling in his mind, though, and he knows he'll never have another chance to ask it. "Can I ask you something?"

Lou perks up and turns to him, curious. "Sure."

"You said you were surprised to see me with Amy. Was it because of me or was it a surprise to see her with someone else?"

"Oh, definitely you. Even knowing you guys were friendly, I did not see the two of you…well—I thought I had a radar for that kind of thing."

"It's not hard to see her move on?"

"No. I want her to move on. And just talking to you now—it's clear you care about her and you're respectful about Ty. So, you don't have to worry about me. I'm just sorry Dad and Grandpa already see you as a threat—and not the good-natured, quiet guy I know you to be."

Nathan nods as he pulls into a parking space. "Any advice?"

Amy pulls back, surprised. Her forehead creases. “We knew each other for that long before we got engaged. I wouldn’t say we were together that long.”

“Really?” He recalls Caleb’s words: even when they weren’t together, they were still together, and works to keep them to himself. “What would you say?”

He watches emotions play across her face: annoyance, frustration, confusion before she tears herself away from the intensity of his gaze. She focuses on the stream beside them, letting that focus calm her emotions.

“Amy?”

She turns back to him. “This is the part where I don’t know how much to say. I don’t know what you’re actually asking. Do you want to hear the brief history or the long history or just how many years I would say that we were together—which I don’t even know if there’s a correct answer to that, Ty might have said a different number…”

“Okay…You’re right,” Nathan raises a hand to her shoulder and strokes it twice before releasing it. “It’s not about the number.” He sighs, frustrated that he is not expressing himself the way he would like. He takes a deep breath and tries again. “You’re important to me, Amy, and I care about you. I guess I’m just trying to get a sense of who the most important person in life was for so long…So you’re not gonna scare me off or say too much. I just—” he stops, waiting to catch her eye. “Ty is a part of you…and I really want to know you.”

Amy sighs. She picks up another piece of grass, twiddles it, and then returns to him. He waits for her to speak with an understanding look on his face.

She takes a deep breath. “My mom died in a car crash when I was fifteen. I was with her in the car,” she starts in a matter-of-fact manner and he’s taken aback, not expecting the direction she took. “She died saving Spartan from an abusive owner.” Nathan tries to voice words of sympathy, but she doesn’t pause her story. “Mom was a big believer in giving people second chances. She sometimes hired stable hands that were lost in life, in foster care, or on probation. A couple days after I was released from the hospital, Ty showed up—her newest stable hand hire on probation. He was there as I tried to move on from losing her and took up her job of working with horses and their problems on the ranch. Ty was always there to help me. Over time, he grew up too, and eventually he graduated vet school.”

She pauses for the first time, but now, Nathan doesn’t know what to say. When she doesn’t either, she reminds herself of his original question. “Because I was a confused, mourning teenager when we met and he was battling his own past, it’s kind of hard to say how long we were together—there were a lot of starts and stops…But I guess one way of looking at it would be he was the most important person in my life for thirteen years and we were married for five of them.”

Nathan remains quiet as he takes in her story. He looks at her with awe as she shrugs the story off with a hint of a smile.

When he finally speaks, all he can say is, “You’re incredible, Amy.”

She shakes her head, “That really wasn’t the point of me telling you all that.”

“To have a positive outlook on life, to finishing telling me that and have a smile on your face, after everything you’ve been through…I could never do that.”

Amy sighs, “It happened a long time ago.”

“Still,” he says seriously, “You’ve been through more than I could ever handle.”

“Nathan,” she reaches out to him. “I don’t think it works like that.”

“No, seriously, Tristin cheats on me, and I shield myself off from the world. The world takes and takes from you and you still here with open arms and a smile.”

“It doesn’t take everything from me. It keeps giving me things too.” She turns to him and watches him focus on the nature around them. A bluebird flies from one tree branch to another.  “You’re here, with me, making me happy…giving me a chance to start falling in love again.”

“Me too,” Nathan whispers. He smiles to himself and Amy misses it. She nudges his shoulder with her own, prompting him to turn back to her. She waits for him to say something more. He doesn’t. Instead, he leans in to kiss her.

“So,” she raises a palm to his cheek. Her thumb slowly strokes his face. He closes his eyes at her touch. “The world gives you things too.”

Nathan nods quietly, but says nothing. With his eyes still closed, Amy can freely watch the emotions travel through his face. She raises a second hand into his hair and he leans in closer. Up close, it feels like she can see his pain and sadness consume him and then wash over him. New curiosities bubble up in her as she watches his process.

With Nathan curled up beside her, Amy doesn’t know what to do. She breathes with him, in, then out, and then looks away, trying to decide. Once she does, she nods to herself and then sits up straighter.

She leans in, places a long kiss on his forehead, and then releases him. “Nathan,” she whispers. It takes him a moment find her again. When their eyes meet, she somehow knows he won’t be surprised by her request. “Tell me about Tristin.”

He continues to look at her. He takes another deep breath in, out, and Amy watches his chest expand and contract. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“It doesn’t matter where you start,” she tells him gently, her voice full of compassion. “I’ve told you about Ty. I don’t know anything about Tristin.”

“Tristin isn’t to me what Ty is to you.” He shakes his head. “Ty is still an important part of who you are.”

Amy frowns with sympathy. Once again, she brings a palm to his cheek. “And Tristin isn’t a part of you?”

“Not anymore.” Nathan quietly shakes his head. “I don’t want her to be.”

“I know,” she strokes his cheek. “But she is. And,” She waits until he looks at her. “I love who you are.”

“Okay,” he finds inner strength and comes up with a forward direction. He sits up straighter and adjusts himself. Amy does the same, pushing herself up with both hands against the ground. “We met in college, in one of my business classes. We were paired up on a class project to design an ad for some cleaning supplies and we approached it in two totally different ways. She was flying off the wall with a million ideas and I just sat quietly, trying to find two ideas that would connect together.”

He notices Amy’s lips upturn at the story and he pauses for a moment, encouraged. “Um, I don’t know, her whole life was kind of chaotic like that. She always had a dozen things going on at once—countless different social groups, a handful of committees, a dozen different goals she wanted to accomplish. I thought it would calm down once we graduated. It didn’t. She just found new things to do. She’d step foot in a new city and have ten new friends within a week.”

“Huh,” Amy processes the information and tries not to make any assumptions. She reflects what she hears. “A real-life energizer-bunny, huh?”

“Yeah,” Nathan nods. “I guess the opposites attract thing is obvious now. I didn’t see then. I just kind of went along for the ride.”

Amy continues to watch her words. “It’s hard to see anything when you’re in the middle of it.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Nathan scoffs. “I think part of me knew it was too much for me.”

“Hey, come on,” Amy reaches out to him. “Cut yourself some slack. Isn’t college a place for people try on different sides of themselves?”

“I guess.” He shrugs. They sit comfortably together as he regroups. “I hated college. Tristin aside, I’m glad I went. It helps me now with the business side of the ranch, but I actually hated it. If it wasn’t for Tristin and our relationship, I don’t think I would have graduated.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?”

“I don’t know.” He pauses, remembering what she had said about her relationship with Ty and doing it all again if she could. “I wouldn’t ever do it again, even if I still use my degree.”

Amy nods, digesting his point of view. “I know. But now, after all that, you know who you are and what you want—the quiet ranch life suits you—your land, your cows, and Molly.”  

“And you, Miss Sunshine,” Nathan teases. “How did you enjoy college?”

“Oh,” Amy takes a moment as her mind jolts out of thinking about Nathan and Tristin to thinking about her own life decisions. “I didn’t go to college.”

Nathan turns his whole body towards her and looks at her for the first time since talking about Tristin. He smiles with a mixture of surprise and amusement. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Amy sighs. “I was actually offered a full ride to Colorado State University in their Equine Science program.”

“Wow,” He looks at her with fresh eyes. “Amy, that’s a big deal. That’s a great program.”

She nods. “Thanks.”

He searches her, growing contemplative. “Why didn’t you go?”

“Lots of reasons…”

“Okay…” Nathan juts his chin out. “Like what?”

“Like, I don’t know,” Amy sighs once more. “I guess emotionally, my mom had died three years before. My dad had re-entered my life after disappearing for ten years. Ty and I were in a good place. I just didn’t really want to leave home…But more importantly and practically, I really wanted to devote myself to working with horses full time and really see what I could do. I didn’t have the time in high school and I really couldn’t do it if I went away to college. So, my desire to focus on my work is really what made the decision easy.”

“You knew what you wanted,” he observes. “And you trusted yourself when making a big decision—even when you were young.”

Amy takes a deep breath and pulls him closer. He scoots around her and she takes his arms and wraps them around her. He gives her a squeeze as she sinks into his embrace.

"Oh, yeah," Caleb confirms. "That horse has come to Amy in some of the happiest and saddest moments in her life. It's spectacular to watch." He looks at him and then nods towards Ghost. "You're in for a treat."

They both watch as Amy approaches Ghost. The appaloosa horse turns to her as she nears, allowing her to touch him briefly.  When she walks a little ahead of him, he follows her willingly.

"You've seen her do this before?" Nathan asks, incredulously.

"Many, many times." Caleb delights. "She isn't called the Miracle Girl for nothing, you know."

Nathan nods. "You've called her that a couple times now."

"A lot of people call her that, mostly clients and a couple newspaper headlines," Nathan raises an eyebrow. "And she hates it, as to be expected, modest woman as she is...But she tolerates from a few people--me and Ty and her family--just because we are half-serious and half-teasing her. And," Caleb shrugs, nodding towards Amy, "We were all there when she got the name."

Still watching Amy and Ghost, Nathan shares, "I've never seen her do anything like that."

"Then maybe you haven't scratched the surface of how amazing she is," Caleb shares his observation as if it was an important fact.

Caleb's bold claim hangs in the air between them. It takes a minute, but when Nathan turns back to him, Caleb can see big emotions swirling in his eyes: admiration, amazement, love, and true fear at the prospect at being with her.  Despite calling him out moments ago, Caleb now sees the depth of Nathan's feelings for Amy. For the first time since Amy told him they were secretly together, he realizes the seriousness of their relationship--at least on Nathan's side.

Now wishing for a beer instead of the plain water he was drinking, Caleb looks down as his own heartbreak hits him: even playing the supportive friend wasn't going to help him out of the friend zone. Whatever small chance he thought had left, he felt it vanishing as his gaze darted between Amy and Ghost and Nathan, still watching them.

Somehow, he swallows his emotions and forces himself that Ty would want the best for Amy, he always did.  "Ty told me once: I had no idea what Amy can do."

Nathan turns back at the name. "Ty?"

"Hmm," Caleb takes a final sip and then puts his drink down. "I had only worked at Heartland for a couple months at that point and Ty had returned from his latest soul searching journey and...I don't know--I must have said some stupid comment to piss him off because, back then it was so easy to get him worked up--which, honestly--just tempted me to do it more--But he retorts by telling me that I didn't have a clue about how amazing her gift with horse was, and—” Caleb gestures to Amy and Ghost who seem to be dancing in the field together. "He was right."

Nathan takes a deep breath and crosses his arms. As he tries to digest the information--how much it scares him, how much he craves for Amy to tell him more, to show him more, for him to know all there is to know about her, yet to still keep their new relationship new, and quiet, and slow--he realizes Caleb must see the emotions play across his face.

He jolts up straighter from his position and tries to wipe the emotions that he can off his face.

Caleb watches his self-consciousness and kindly offers remedy: "I don't mean to keep talking about Ty. I won't do it anymore if you don't want...I just, I don't know," he shrugs. "Maybe I wanted to pass on Ty's words to me about Amy...to you...if that's okay."

"Amy doesn't talk about him much," Nathan shares.

"She does. She will," Caleb assures him.  "If you ask. If you want to know...She'll tell you. She doesn't like to ruminate about the past like I do. And she probably just doesn't want to scare you off."

Nathan narrows his eyebrows, questioning: "To scare me off?"

Caleb turns more serious. "She was so in love with him. They were a strong unit together."

Nathan shifts uncomfortably. The words pierce his heart deeper than he would have expected. Then again, remembering Tristin, he also knew what it was to love and commit to someone so deeply.