I wish I was a writer, more specifically a horror writer, because I had a banger idea for a fic that could be really gripping, but uh... I don't think I've grinded enough xp to unlock that level of writing, champs.
To be honest, my abilities to sit down and write structured things, not just fiction, feel as though they have degraded since I finished school. It might just be the executive dysfunction, but I'm looking at the two course works I was given a whole goddamn university year to complete that I'm still avoiding, and that I'm too ashamed to talk to my professor about, precisely because she's always saying 'it is alright, take your time', and I just feel selfish and greedy and lazy.
That's a tangent. In any case, I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to write more, fiction or otherwise, but I don't have the skill to do so, or the focus. I could try to make comics to communicate my ideas, but that requires coming up with backgrounds and shit, and I am very much more of a character artist
I just feel stuck, I guess. Nobody really needs to know about it, but if any other people who have been in this situation see this and have a word or two to offer, I think that would be nice
It's just a problem in general. It might be perfectionism or something else, but I hesitate to throw myself into anything at all if I'm confused about how to do it - which includes situations where I have tons of theoretical knowledge, like writing, where I've looked up so many fucking tips and tricks and plot stuff and everything. Knowing about something doesn't get rid of the confusion around it. If there's a feeling of confusion, I'm stuck.
It's so weird putting my thoughts out on the internet, honestly. These aren't light-hearted things like 'lmao I saw a big unit of a cat today' either (though I actually did, the unit was beautiful and big boned)
I dunno man, just weird thoughts I guess
