Come, flail with me about fandoms and random other bits. Currently a giant swirly whirl of Critical Role and D&D geekiness. Find my fics on AO3 at AnaliseGrey
As a chronically-ill person, there’s often the seemingly-constant irritation of ‘normal’ bloodwork results, to the point where you kind of wish (to a point) for the results to show something- anything- to explain what you’re experiencing, and that’s if you can get the bloodwork orders in the first place.
I managed to finagle bloodwork orders from my PCP- I asked for B6, B9, and B12, as well as homocysteine, in-part because I’m supposed to be starting a new ADHD med and while it’s non-stimulant, it still has the potential to cause cardiac issues, and I’ve been noticing more palpitations than I’m accustomed to. PCP humored me and placed the orders, along with magnesium (since that can affect heart rhythm as well), though she made a point of saying that based on certain factors (you know, being fat, female, and over 40), it might just be that this is how I’m going to feel now. I said I knew that, but it was mostly just to make sure.
Well.
Magnesium came back right smack in the middle of normal range, which is in line with previous results.
The other stuff, tho-
I’m still waiting on B6, but B9 is flagged as low, and B12 is low-enough that when I told my medication manager what it was, she briefly paused, then asked if I’d ever had B12 injections before. The homocysteine was also elevated, which is likely a result of the low b-vitamins, but can also lead to increased cardiac risk.
I can’t help but think that if I hadn’t pushed about it, we wouldn’t know. The only reason I even thought to ask was my gf had gifted me a 23andme kit a few years ago, and I found out I have one of the MTHFR mutations, which can affect b-vitamin absorption among other things. I’ve been reading what that can affect, and SO MUCH OF IT could potentially apply to me… I’m going mildly insane right now waiting for the last results, and to see what my PCP says, especially since I’m supposed to leave town on Thursday for a music festival. My brain is hungry for information, and I don’t have a good source for it at the moment, so it’s just sort of going in circles while I wait for answers/a plan. Part of me though is still at least a little happy that- finally- my bloodwork showed something.
Update: b6 was also low, as it happens. Doctor is having me start supplements for b6 and folic acid, since they’re out of normal range. She didn’t so much as mention b12, but I’m supposed to take the supplements, eat a diet that sounds suspiciously like a taco salad with guacamole (leafy dark greens, lean meat, avocados, beans, citrus fruit), then retest in 4-6 weeks.
I’m still annoyed that I had to go on a hunch, and find workarounds to get a dr to humor me enough to order the bloodwork that actually DID show something wrong, instead of just being able to say, ‘hey, I’m experiencing [X], seems weird, can we maybe do some bloodwork about it?’. I hate that the general initial take from the medical field is, ‘weeeeell, you’re over 40, so that may just be How You Feel Now…forever. Also, have you tried to lose weight?’.
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As a chronically-ill person, there’s often the seemingly-constant irritation of ‘normal’ bloodwork results, to the point where you kind of wish (to a point) for the results to show something- anything- to explain what you’re experiencing, and that’s if you can get the bloodwork orders in the first place.
I managed to finagle bloodwork orders from my PCP- I asked for B6, B9, and B12, as well as homocysteine, in-part because I’m supposed to be starting a new ADHD med and while it’s non-stimulant, it still has the potential to cause cardiac issues, and I’ve been noticing more palpitations than I’m accustomed to. PCP humored me and placed the orders, along with magnesium (since that can affect heart rhythm as well), though she made a point of saying that based on certain factors (you know, being fat, female, and over 40), it might just be that this is how I’m going to feel now. I said I knew that, but it was mostly just to make sure.
Well.
Magnesium came back right smack in the middle of normal range, which is in line with previous results.
The other stuff, tho-
I’m still waiting on B6, but B9 is flagged as low, and B12 is low-enough that when I told my medication manager what it was, she briefly paused, then asked if I’d ever had B12 injections before. The homocysteine was also elevated, which is likely a result of the low b-vitamins, but can also lead to increased cardiac risk.
I can’t help but think that if I hadn’t pushed about it, we wouldn’t know. The only reason I even thought to ask was my gf had gifted me a 23andme kit a few years ago, and I found out I have one of the MTHFR mutations, which can affect b-vitamin absorption among other things. I’ve been reading what that can affect, and SO MUCH OF IT could potentially apply to me… I’m going mildly insane right now waiting for the last results, and to see what my PCP says, especially since I’m supposed to leave town on Thursday for a music festival. My brain is hungry for information, and I don’t have a good source for it at the moment, so it’s just sort of going in circles while I wait for answers/a plan. Part of me though is still at least a little happy that- finally- my bloodwork showed something.
I hate medical questionnaires that seem written to aggravate neurodivergent people on purpose.
Some of these questions require NUANCE you motherfuckers. Making everything both a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question, and also required, when I don’t have a yes or no response to give you, means I get stuck on pretty much every other question (more more).
“Do you have a problem with sex?”- Only if someone is trying to make me have it (not a yes or no answer).
“Do you have vision problems?”- Yes, BUT they’re corrected by glasses (not a completely yes or no answer).
“Do you use birth control/contraceptive?” Not at this particular moment, but the day I start my next period I will, to help treat perimenopause (not a completely yes or no answer).
And the list goes on. And every. Single. Time. It’s so intensely aggravating knowing that none of these were written with neurodivergence taken into consideration. They could practically be used as a screening opportunity for people who got missed previously.
You have been offered a full-ride scholarship to get a four-year degree in this field, specifically. Upon graduation, you will be guaranteed a job in this field at the 75th percentile of average salary for the field, with the possibility of further advancement as the years go on.
However, you will never be able to get a job in any other field.
Do you take the offer?
100% yes!
Probably yes
I'm honestly torn, this is a hard choice
Probably not
Absolutely fucking not
Random other option for people who want to ramble in the tags
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It has been THIRTEEN (13!) YEARS and I just remembered the Toasterverse exists!
By: Scifigrl47
Set in the halcyon days of 2012, just after The Avengers movie came out. Back when we all dreamed of found family, superhero community, and everybody living in The Tower. Some of the best character writing before mcu shat the bed - built out Coulson and Barton’s personality from the blank slates they were at that point, let’s Stark have a personality made of more than chronic anxiety and misplaced guilt, gave Rogers a personality that didn’t entirely consist of self righteousness…. You get the idea.
Toasterverse splits between three series:
In Which Tony Stark Builds Himself Some Friends (But His Family Was Assigned by Nick Fury)
Phil Coulson's Case Files of the Toasterverse
&
Tales of the Bots
There is a recommended reading order in the series notes. These stories will have you crying one moment and laughing the next. 100/10, absolutely recommend.
Sort of general for the last year or so, but more intensely today specifically.
I've been trying for over a year now to find a way to learn Korean that will be effective for me. I tried The Owl ™, and while it worked for some things, their major 'update' a few months ago made it next to useless to use. I've tried using LingoLegend, which when I use it is a little helpful. There are still letters I have trouble remembering, and I know some of them sound different depending on where in a word they appear, but I couldn't tell you which ones and what they sound like in either case.
I've toyed with the idea of actually taking a class, and I keep running up against anxiety about it. I'd thought it was about the idea of being in a class of people, but one of my partners sent me a link today to a relatively-local option that offers one-on-one tutoring in languages. While it would be a bit of a trek each time, it's not super duper far away. So other than possible distance, and actual cost, I've been trying to figure out why I'm still feeling hesitation about it.
I can remember being younger, and at the start of the school year being excited at the prospect of learning. It always felt like there was so much possibility- knowledge in potentia. Somewhere along the way, that changed- from excitement at the prospect of learning, to nerves, and worry about failure. I'm not sure when it happened, though I have a feeling it was somewhere around grad school. Up until that point, while I'd had some issues in various classes prior, there were many more classes where I found myself struggling.
I know a lot of it is that I had ADHD, and didn't know.
I didn't know that I should have been medicated. I didn't know that I should have gone to writing center for help. I thought it was just that I was lazy, or just bad at what I was trying to do. I was so convinced that I should have been able to do the work on my own without help that it didn't occur to me to ask for it anyway, despite the fact that in the few instances where I taught, I would tell my students that if they were having trouble for whatever reason, they could go and get help.
Because of course for myself, the standards are different, right?
So, I've been trying to figure out where the specific hesitation is coming from. If someone gave me the time and money necessary to take the class, removing those as issues, what would actually be stopping me from doing it?
And I think I've narrowed it down.
The excitement at the prospect of learning has been replaced by the expectation of difficulty. I'm expecting to have trouble. I'm expecting to not be able to do it. I've never gone to school in any capacity while being actively treated for ADHD, so all I have for reference is the experiences I've had before- frustration, difficulty focusing, not knowing how to study, procrastination, etc.; I haven't known anything else, so it's what my brain is expecting to happen.
That paired with a deeply-ingrained anxiety response to failure (because when growing up if you identified strongly as 'one of the smart kids', then who are you without being 'smart'), means that it's difficult to find a willingness to invest in something I'm not guaranteed success at. Which on the surface sounds…not shallow, but definitely not great, but when you look at it as- 'It's difficult to invest the energy/resources in something that may not give the necessary dopamine, which my brain requires to hold interest/stay engaged', then it makes a bit more sense (at least I think).
I don't know how to change perspective, how to get that excitement about learning back, the feeling that anything is possible, that I could learn a wholeass language (or at least get a good start at it), instead of the feeling that it's just a matter of how I fail to succeed rather than if I will or not.
Do not read under the cut until after you've voted; it's my thesis and the reason for making this poll, and I want to see if it has any merit. I'd also appreciate a reblog to escape my circle on this one, because I know which one my immediate mutual group falls under.
When you make character playlists, do you...?
Base it off the Direct Lyrics (analyzing how the lyrics fit for the character)
Based off the Theme of the song (The lyrics might not fit, but the idea does)
Base it off "Vibes" (ie; you can imagine how hard an anamatic would go)
I make my playlists based on what I think a character would listen to
Other/Mix of the three (Put in tags??)
I don't make character playlists/See Results
Voting ended onSep 29, 2025
I have a speculation that a lot of people do character playlists based off of the vibe of the music rather than the lyrics. I think this is especially true in ""younger"" fandom spaces, around an age where people aren't inclined to actually be paying attention to the meaning of a song.
(Honestly, I think the average person that listens to music In General doesn't pay attention to the lyrics of the song in as much as they are paying attention to beat and melody - I do think that this is a valid way to listen to music, for the most part, and a lot of people that do music as a hobby forget that not everyone does even basic analysis of the song. This is why you get the "You didn't know this DARK FACT about PUMPED UP KICKS" style videos and it goes over like. The basic messaging in the music)
I think this is why you get a lot of people baffled about the fact that things like Mother Mothers's Hayloft or any lemon demon song on the playlist despite it "Not Fitting"// the music having very hyper specific scenarios that otherwise wouldn't fit any character; I think to these people, it's not about the lyrics in the song itself, but rather about the fact that they can stare off into space and imagine a larger project involving the character. The song is on the playlist because they can stare off into space and think more about the character while they listen, not because it situationally fits.
Me and my friendgroup is largely made up of people who base it on lyrics or theme analysis, but I'm curious if my hypothesis holds any weight.
No, but that’s exactly something that should be put in a museum.
Imagine seeing this two, three, eight hundred years after the fact. Imagine this little girl through centuries of time holding up her hand to show you her most precious rock. It’s potent enough now, this intimate knowledge of a complete stranger, this tiny insight into what was explained to her and what she thought was important and who listened to her long enough to let you see it, but imagine centuries in the future. Imagine this little bit of rock that looks like every other bit of rock, with no context and no explanation to it. And then imagine finding/seeing this little sign, and realising that it was Bethan’s rock. That it was a rock that a little girl loved the look of , and picked up, and carried around with her, and when it was explained to her that museums were places where precious things were shown so that other people could see and enjoy them, the precious thing she wanted them to show, that she wanted to show you, was this rock.
This is what material history is. These windows through time into a person’s life and beliefs and mundane treasures, these bridges across centuries where a child a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand years ago can show you her favourite rock.
That is, in so many ways, what museums are for. And well done them for following through.
it always bothered me that I didn't actually get to see the rock itself, so I looked it up and
it has a website!
they decided to actually share the rock with the world, with all us strangers, so please do me a favour and check it out. There's also close up and high resolution pictures of it, and i have to say
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I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.
Hi everyone it's trans day of visibility!! If ya feel like it, I'd love if you shared my work.. My name is Rachamim and I make personal queer fantasy work inspired by my Greek Sephardi background.
It's what always kept me going through my hardest periods of illness and instability and I feel very lucky to still be here sharing with y'all.
If ya want links of where/how else you can support my work they're all here!! Thank you!
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.
