~(=^ΦωΦ^= )~

It's silly how every year as summer approaches I'm like ''aghhh i must have some version of seasonal affective disorder, what's wrronggg with me I feel so badd :('' when really, if I think about it, everything just comes down to heat management. I have to sleep on the floor half the time because the bed is too hot even with no sheets on it. Must have fans constantly going in the background, which is a noise that I loathe, so I'm sensory overwhelmed at all times. The weird old window AC in a single room of the house is even louder than the fans and impossible to sleep when it's on, so it still gets hot at night with it off. Keep all windows blacked out for 6+ hours a day so no direct sun gets in. Need to check weather frequently to set up the series of 6 fans that move air throughout the house at the exact moment that the temperature outside is lower than the temperature inside. Can't use the oven during heatwaves because even the extra few degrees it adds makes a difference. Obviously it could be a lot worse (still thankful that this new apartment is at least not facing the direction of afternoon sun like my old one) but the constant low level background stress of micromanaging every aspect of the environment to keep from overheating, when applied to someone who's already chronically low energy/struggles with daily tasks + has health conditions that make them overly heat sensitive, would definitely be enough to decrease mood and cause a general Always On Edge type of feeling. It's not even a Disorder it's just me being annoyed for 3 -4 months straight, and I dread the summer so badly simply because I know I'm about to be annoyed for 3 - 4 months straight lmao.. like.. I diagnose you as 'needing a central AC system'. Literally that's it lol

Sometimes I wish I had the Fandom Bones in my body where I could get really invested in stuff like that like... imagining what it's like that some people get SO thrilled just to see a new photo of a character they like or etc. It would be interesting to have additional sources of joy like that in my life where it seems pretty accessible or easy to satisfy (though perhaps it's more ephemeral than I think and doesn't just work like 'see favorite media = instant joy' lol), so if I ever felt bad I could just read a fanfiction or something or whatever else is done.. Hrmm.. if only I could learn such ways.. It seems fun, in a way, to be excited about these things.