I wanna watch the dolls do a song and dance for me

Instead of wean-mothers and a standardized academy, one of the things that houses in Guallidurth will do is exchange children between their houses and allow each house to tutor the children they’ve swapped in what their individual house specializes in. Instead of it being a clerical - melee - wizard trifecta, it will be a Military - Trade - Entertainment trifecta. Each of those individual categories tends to have different specializations in classes (Military being your fighter-wizards, trade being ranger, entertainment being bard-esc. I would have to look at the various classes of earlier editions to properly flavor this to the era). 

The purpose of this house exchange is similar to the purpose of the standardization of the academy in Menzobarrenzan; It keeps the education of every house within a faction on similar terms. However, it gives the added bonus of forcing the alliances between individual houses in a faction to remain on good terms (Especially important in a city that is described as struggling to keep itself together.) If you kill or short-cut the education of someone elses child, you risk having your own child's opportunities (or life) cut short. 

Girls are (of course) prioritized in this exchange of child. If a boy dies, it's seen as mildly insulting, but a girl dying in another houses care is seen as alliance-ruining. 

Women will always get clerical training, but the form that it comes in depends on the houses faction. In Enclave’s individual faction, clerical training came in the form of being prepared for the leadership roles of their prioritizations. Likewise specific to her faction, men could take on clerical positions, but generally won’t unless Lolth shows explicit favor within the child in question. They’re far more concerned about having properly trained foot soldiers, wizards, and rangers, as they view the cultivating of power through might as a religious act.

Now. While the faction that Enclave’s House was apart of had a military focus, Enclave’s mother was (above all else) a lawyer. At the height of her capabilities, she had an incredible talent for creating deals that largely worked to her (and therefore her families) benefit. She essentially grew her house by a combination of social climbing and being the one that other houses within her faction called to work out the terms of alliances and dealings. This is something she took advantage of when deciding which houses to get Enclave tutoring in, and deciding what specifically to tutor her within. She understood rather quickly that her mild mannered daughter would not be following her in the footsteps of her cut throat political life - but that, to her, wasn't entirely a problem. Being at the start of her career like she was, she would have plenty of opportunities to find an appropriate heir for her own specialty. Instead, she prioritized getting Enclave trained in what she believed she would best excel in. 

As such, the training Enclave was given is as follows; in the military end of things, she was trained as a spy and assassin. In the trade end of things she was given some survivalist training on both the surface and within the wilds of the underdark. She was given some training in entertainment in the form of an instrument similar to a Guzheng/Dulcimer (in my head it’s technically neither, drow have their own instruments. But I think the concept of "stringed instrument that sits in the lap” is something as old as time.) She would (at the time) say that she picked it because it’s similar to the way looms look, which reminds her of their goddess. However she really picks it because it’s something that allows her to kinda disappear into the background, as she has never been comfortable having the kind of limelight on her that other entertainment specialties would require. 

When it came time to pick something to specialize in (which in my mind happens around the age Menzo kids would go to The Academy) she naturally and organically fell into a soldier/cleric role. 

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By the time that Sabdra comes around, Enclave is stationed at an outpost that boarders close to the surface, sitting at the highest position of power within it. Her duties there are to lead raids on trade Caravan’s coming into Calimport, something she is rather effective at due to her willingness to run them during the day (Something acceptable within her own religious factions belief system, as they believe steeling themselves against the light is a show of great strength.)

However, she finds the work unfulfilling, especially after doing the work for (by this point) decades. Enclave is quiet and mild mannered, but she's otherwise just as ambitious and goal-oriented as her mother. She feels her larger skillset is being put to waste, however is in no position to return home and attempt the larger power crawl that would allow her to change her circumstance.  

Then, one day, Sabdra arrives.

She presents herself as part of the Handmaidens of the Spider Queen (An organization Enclave is familiar with at this point in her life) however, to Enclave’s interest, arrives alone. She expresses interest in joining Enclave on her next raid to the surface, something Enclave is at first apprehensive about allowing. However, Sabdra intrigues her, and (despite herself) Enclave finds that she wants to understand her better than she does at a glance. The men she commands don’t seem entirely comfortable with it, but Enclave uses the excuse that Sabdra outranks her as a priestess (as many of those in the Handmaidens of the Spider Queen do) and it’s not like she can really deny her either. 

They go raiding together. 

In the heat of the battle, Enclave ends up snapping at one of the foot soldiers that she’s in charge of for getting in her way, breaking their nose in the process. She chews them out for doing something that could have gotten her killed, but in doing so distracts him long enough that he gets struck by one of the merchants they’re attacking. Enclave breaks the merchants leg in retribution, intending to take him as a battle captive. However, Sabdra shows herself to be particularly brutal, as she kills the owners of the caravan they target rather than taking them as slaves. 

Afterwards, Sabdra argues that the Handmaidens of the Spider Queen are trained to kill, and that those too weak-willed to fight for their survival simply do not deserve to live. Enclave believes that this is sound and reasonable logic, but also knows her mother will get pissy about losing “perfectly functional merchandise,” but Sabdra tells her not to worry about it. She decides not to worry about it. They have this conversation while looking at a guy struggle to pull himself together after getting stabbed, and eventually end up leaving him to pull himself back to the outpost on his own (which, to his credit, he does.)

Enclave, with all of her training and loyalty towards her houses dogma in mind, cannot bring herself to apologize for leaving the guy to die. However, she takes the time to heal him properly when they have a moment together, and gives him a wordless apology by giving him the higher quality rations she as someone with both rank and gender is generally privy to receiving. This does not go unnoticed by the Sabdra in the room, but Sabdra doesn’t say anything. 

She schemes. 

Sabdra explains why she’s come to Guallidurth - She, as a chosen of Lolth, and has her own big ideas about the faith and how to maintain power under Lolth’s careful gaze. She’d been originally talking to the main Matron Mother of Enclave’s specific cult, but Enclave’s mother got her attention by being the only reasonable one within the room (Something her mother seems to take some amount of quiet pride in.) Sabdra has, supposedly, spent the last few months talking with her mother, and after those dealings has agreed to begin working with Sabdra, offering Enclave as a show of good faith and a political connecting point between the two houses while she remains within her cult to keep things under the radar. 

Enclave is apprehensive about this, and (to her credit, justifiably) hesitant to trust a word out of this strange little woman's mouth. She understands the weight of betraying their cult and its Matron mother, and the attention they’d be gathering with that.

This is something her mother catches onto and attempts to begin to challenge her on, however Sabdra assures her mother that she’d like to hear Enclave's honest thoughts on the matter. Afterall - To her, it’s not just about power. It’s dogma, and religious interpretation. She’s convinced Encalve’s mother on the matter, but Enclave hasn’t even heard her ideas. 

It’s good to have her ideas challenged; It proves the strength of them with time. 

She then acknowledges that Enclave probably wants some time to think on it herself, and offers to take a night out with her - Sabdra, afterall, has been so busy since she’s gotten here that she hasn’t had the chance to explore the larger city yet. Enclave, who dislikes the rowdier entertainment side of Guallidurth, almost finds herself disagreeing - However, after giving Sabdra another look over, feels some of her unease melt away. 

She wants to know more about this woman and her beliefs; So, she agrees to a night out with her. 

Enclave and Matron Deneld do not talk about this. Enclave and Matron Deneld do not talk much, if at all.

A near-distant point later, Enclave and Sabdra go out to explore the cities entertainment district (And, trust. In my brain, Enclave’s got a saucy little outfit on about it.) Enclave spends the beginning part of the night on edge, as Sabdra’s original plan had involved the louder, more crowded sections of the city. Sabdra notices this, and instead changes course - she takes her to a theater. She takes the chance to flaunt around some of the wealth she has to her name, getting them private seats that allow them to lounge about while they watch the entertainment.

Enclave both seems unimpressed by the wealth and the entertainment. 

As such, Sabdra takes the chance to talk with Enclave in hushed tones throughout the performance. 

Sabdra asks Enclave what she actually thinks of her house, attempts to pick her brain regarding her belief system and how she feels about Lolth’s dogma, and what she thinks of the behavior of the other priestesses within her house. Enclave is hesitant to answer any of it honestly. She has a lot of thoughts on these matters, of course - But having a loose tongue gets even the strongest priestess killed (Something highlighted as the theater they’re watching is basically drow red rooms.) Sabdra notices this, and (realizing that she has gotten ahead of herself) decides instead to offer some of her thoughts on the matter. 

Sabdra (while watching the performance) tells her that she finds the behavior of most Priestesses to be shameful, and pathetic. She thinks they’re blinded by their own greed and hedonism. They take advantage of the gifts Lolth has given them, but think only of themselves and their material desire - That the specific games of manipulation and gossip they play are short sighted, and childish. She says all of this while playing with her spider, the sign of her own personal favor, and assures Enclave that she will never engage in the same kind of pathetic, miserable games that most of their society is prone towards - That she will maintain honesty with her, so long as Enclave does the same.

 This, though she is still hesitant, is fair to Enclave, who agrees with her to do so.

Deciding to test the waters some, Enclave admits that despite many of them acting as her teachers, she doesn’t hold many loyalties towards the minor matrons of the houses - she finds them to be rather belligerent and (to Sabdra’s correct appraisal) blinded by more shortsighted material gains. Sabdra seems to like this, encouraging her to continue - But Enclave still hesitates. Sabdra gets closer to her, placing herself in her space. Enclave does not remove her from her space. 

Sabdra tells her that she thinks the Matron Mothers of Enclave’s house are doomed for failure - That they are going to lead the specific cult she’s in towards being destroyed. Their cult bores Lolth, and no amount of individual strength will allow them to keep her favor. Enclave doesn’t entirely like acknowledging that, but here too, cannot find it in herself to disagree. Sabdra tells Enclave that (though they have just met) she sees a lot of potential in her, and doesn’t want to see her turned to dust in some abandoned, forgotten temple along the cities edges. She tells Enclave this while getting incredibly touchy with her, grabbing her face and pulling her attention onto Sabdra. 

The two sleep together, breaking the clear tension developing between the two of them. Sabdra likes to bite a lot. Enclave thinks thats fine.

Both of them still crammed onto the lounge, Enclave tells Sabdra (honestly) that hasn’t decided what her thoughts are yet - But she is intrigued by her. And, though she doesn’t say it out loud, Enclave decides that she enjoys her time with Sabdra. So Enclave agrees to work with her - unofficially, at first, and conditionally. But to find out more about her.

When her first child was a boy and people around her were like "Well you can't win them all. Sorry for your loss." And she was like. ): (See comic above). This son is MINE. Which quickly and eventually turned into. Man I got to get the fuck out of here.

She had access to the connections that would get her out of Menzoberranzan (And down to Sshamath), but did not the resources to take advantage of them, so she was basically placed into debt from the time she left Menzoberranzan. Her and Ilphaer lived basically just above the drow poverty line for most of Ilphaer's childhood, but never slavery (Debt slavery might as well be proper slavery, but there was a difference, especially in Sshamath.)

The Lolth group she had originally aligned herself with eventually would track her down and kill her very publicly, but that part of the story is for a different day.

I think that Ilphaer has a tendency to look back on her with Rose tinted-glasses, especially in the context of drow society. She's not unaware of the fact her mother was Mean as shit to people outside of Ilphaer (I think the harsher parts of Ilphaer's personality is a direct reflection of her mothers), and she like. Was doing the drow equivalent of having Ilphaer keep up the kind of grades that would get her a full scholarship while also having her work full time at the family shop (note: Family shop here is metaphorical). That kind of specific experience.

But she did love Ilphaer a lot, and a lot of what she did was rooted in wanting her to not just survive, but carve out a good life for herself in a society that she knew was prone to self-cannibalization. Ilphaer had a comparatively deeply normal childhood. She DID have to do Mushroom Ritalin to keep up with everything placed on her for a while there, but that is still comparatively normal (comedy) Her mom probably could have come around on the trans thing, but the vhaeraunite thing would have been Testing the limits of her love. Okay you gave yourself boobs. But THAT church? Could you at least have gone shar.