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@kikurikigamer

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shana tova from Trafalgar Law and me
promise me you'll stay on this site for 10 more years okay?
OK now what
ANOTHER 20

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WHY SRIRACHA WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND AND NOW TASTES BAD
If you like hot sauces and the like you probably have been a big fan of sriracha... specifically the sriracha made by Huy Fong Foods. But, you may have noticed that since 2020 there have been noticeable times where it was sold out for months and months. Even worse - now that it is back on shelves it tastes like crap.
I did some digging.
All of the peppers for Huy Fong Foods Sriracha were grown on Underwood Ranches in Ventura County, CA. Family-owned farm (since the 1800s) that grew along with Huy Fong Foods. Starting at 400 acres and growing to almost 4000 to support the popularity of sriracha. This was when it tasted good. In the late 20-teens Huy Fong decided to demand money back from the farm for... no one really fully understands why. They then severed the contract leaving Underwood with 4000 acres of hot peppers and no one to buy them.
Meanwhile Huy Fong approached a number of other farms scattered across southern California and had them quickly spin up pepper concerns. This put a massive dip in their supply and they lost a year of sauce-making basically. Then bad weather knocked out a lot of these farms and they lost another season or two. Also the quality and flavor across multiple farms was inconsistent.
Meanwhile Underwood sued Huy Fong, won, received 23 million dollars, hired back their workers, and got back to growing. Additionally they were able to mitigate a lot of the weather issues the last few years through better technique and had bumper crops.
So they made their own sauce - Underwood Dragon Sriracha...
and lord strike me down if it doesn't taste much more like the older sriracha than whatever Huy Fong Foods is making now. Anyways, they don't seem to sell to stores but you can buy directly from their website. I did and I've been putting it on everything.
I wasn't paid to write this... I just like doing exhaustive research about things I enjoy.
(EDIT to adjust Underwood Farms to Underwood Ranches, and change location from Ventura to Ventura County)
Source: https://www.facebook.com/sean.baptiste.125/posts/10159735977401881
I was so mad when I learned this last year. I had heard all of the excuses that Huy Fong got circulating, that it was just a bad year and weather was hard. It wasn't until I started looking for a new jar of Sambal Oelek that I, one realized that it was made by the same company as Sriracha, and two realized that they pulled capitalist bullshit that robbed me of my delicious peppers. As of right now Underwood hasn't started producing their own Sambal and the off-brands I can find are made with jalapenos.
I have good news for you! They do have their own Sambal! https://underwoodranches.com/product/3-pack-16-17oz/
Lātak Terai. You must have been so lonely.
ā¦
ā¦oh.
ā¦oh thatās why in the films they said:
They meant it literally.
They thought that Spockās dyslexia came from his mother, because it was so common in humans, but not Vulcans.
And they called it a disability, or disadvantage.
Eminently ālogicalā reasoning, and when Spock got to the end of his tenure in schooling, they comment on it, because itās only logical to acknowledge Spockās handicap throughout his tenure.
Only when they said it, Spock realized that despite being one of the smartest Vulcans to have ever lived, every single aspect of his life on Vulcan was analyzed based on his race.
That even the head council, who were supposed to be completely impartial, and free of all emotionā¦were racist.
Because they could have said that his dyslexia was the problem. They could have said āEven with your learning disability, you have excelled beyond our wildest expectations.ā
But instead, they blamed his mother.
His mother, who read his Alice in Wonderland to him.
His mother, who realized earlier than everyone how hard his life was going to be, and personally tutored him because nobody wanted to tutor a half-Vulcan child who inherited a learning disability from her.
His mother, who despite living on Vulcan for years, and raising three children in the ways of Surak, is still being blamed for her sonās learning disability, when that was no fault of her own, but instead the result of a genetic lottery.
All because she was a human.
After all, it was ālogicalā that she is at fault for her sonās disability, right?
And just like that, Starfleet gained an officer.
Because, for all the flaws Starfleet possessed, they would never shame his mother just for being a good mom.
fantasy characters: āGeezā
me: who the fuck spread Christianity there
this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up
W H A T
@rogha
In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also arenāt speaking English because they donāt have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our worldās terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.
Definitely funnier if you make fantasy explanations though,
Champagne is a wizard who sells bubbly alcohol.
Itās called English because of the original Lish people, all languages start with En here.
French fries are not potatoes theyāre roots of the french plant.
Goodbye is now short for āgood be your eyeā wishing you luck seeing the path ahead.
Jesus Christ is a long dead lich who used to cause everyone problems and we havenāt stopped saying her name when things go wrong.
And thatās the Pratchett approach
Whenever I do worldbuilding I try to keep this image in mind
i hate this fucking site so much *clicks reblog*
Funniest shit Iāve ever seen.
Ah, the Mary Suez.
hundreds of years of language evolution and innumerable events had to line up in the exact right order for that pun to make sense.

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Thinking about something
i think itās appropriate, funny even, to trauma dump on ppl who are intentionally being an asshole to u.
ālmao u just donāt wanna be bald bc then uāll look like ur dadā
āi mean yeah honestly itās kinda traumatic bc i have a rough relationship with my dad. it was rough to go from ādaddyās little girlā to āgross gender freakā after i came out, iām used to him being my biggest cheerleader even when we didnāt see eye to eye, so to lose his support overnight has been really traumatizing and iām really sad about it. and like how do i find positive male role models if my own dad doesnāt want to be one for me? whoās supposed to teach me to shave or take me to my first suit fitting or teach me how to be a good man when he doesnāt even believe i am one? what happens when i actually do start to look like him and he still rejects me? itās just been really stressful to deal with all theāā
BINGO
One time someone asked if my parents didn't give me enough attention as a kid, and I kind of just paused for a sec, then said "well mom slept at the office and dad didn't want me so probably not, actually?" And it turns out they just thought I talked a lot
I've inadvertently done this because I'm autistic and have been through enough trauma therapy that I can just talk about that stuff without getting upset now, so sometimes people say something jokingly and I give a perfectly honest answer. And I only notice when they go silent and stare at me like I've grown a second head, but even funnier is when they start apologizing. Because then you know they were making a joke at your expense. And they won't be doing it again.
There was a salesman/account rep that everyone in my mom's building disliked. He was apparently somewhere between "asshole frat boy" and "scummy used car salesman," but he knew just where the line was and apparently enjoyed putting his toes on it, but never over.
They were stuck with him, basically.
One day, mom was sitting in the samples room, looking through some data with a couple of other people working at nearby stations, and this guy comes in, sees my mom, and decides he's going to have some fun.
"Hey, nice hat!" he says. "Having a bad hair day? Dye job go bad?"
My mother sets down her work, and reaches up, taking off her hat. "No. Chemotherapy. "
Now confronted with her bald head, he freezes, his life flashing before his eyes.
"For stage 4 breast cancer," my mother says, never changing expression.
He is now actively praying for death, as every other person in the room has stopped their work, and are staring at him.
"The prognosis is six to eight months," mom says. She doesn't say 'until I die,' but it hangs there. She picks up her work. "So I really should get back to this."
Apparently he was mass reported to his employer before he got out of the building by multiple lab heads. They never saw him again.
Return Awkwardness To Sender continues to be a valid stratagem
absolutely fascinated by this raw pixels on an emulator vs how the game was actually supposed to look on old tvs twitter
People say that old games dont look as good as they remember
Its because they legitimately dont.
The āfuzzā from CRT monitors was something that was definitely accounted for and taken advantage of back in the day when it came to video games! While this effect is noticeable in 3D games, itās MUCH more visible when it comes to 2D sprites:
Just look how much more depth these simple sprites of Princess Peach and Bowser from Super Mario RPG seem to have when seen through the ādotsā of a CRT TV screen!
I somehow did not know this!?!?!?
One of the clearest examples of this is using the effect for transparent waterfalls in the MegaDrive Sonic games
My absolutely favourite example of this is with Draculaās eyes in Castlevania
absolutely fascinated by this raw pixels on an emulator vs how the game was actually supposed to look on old tvs twitter
People say that old games dont look as good as they remember
Its because they legitimately dont.
The āfuzzā from CRT monitors was something that was definitely accounted for and taken advantage of back in the day when it came to video games! While this effect is noticeable in 3D games, itās MUCH more visible when it comes to 2D sprites:
Just look how much more depth these simple sprites of Princess Peach and Bowser from Super Mario RPG seem to have when seen through the ādotsā of a CRT TV screen!
I somehow did not know this!?!?!?
One of the clearest examples of this is using the effect for transparent waterfalls in the MegaDrive Sonic games
My absolutely favourite example of this is with Draculaās eyes in Castlevania
listen i will never support anyone getting booed or yelled at on stage when they go up to accept an award because at the end of the day itās the execs of the grammyās who are the ones at fault for creating a rigged system HOWEVER the āpeople like me donāt usually win theseā part of the acceptance speech when said white male artist has been given nothing short of exponential praise and worldwide success for the last DECADE of his career is the probably the most unhinged thing that could have ever come out of his mouth and goes to show just how absolutely delusional and tone deaf the 1% are
this isnāt to say that the other 1% candidates like adele, beyonce, and taylor swift arenāt tone deaf in their own unique millionaire way but itās a special kind of insult when a publicly non-queer white male celebrity that uses queer fashions and styles like a costume that they can take on and off (like how the kardashians use black culture) for their own benefit and to reap all the rewards while other minority groups donāt and then have the audacity to say that they are the actual underdogs of the industry is just reallyā¦.something else
to further prove my point, watch how the general public treats harry styles, a non-queer man who dresses eccentrically and exclusively dates women publicly and gets praised for it, in comparison to sam smith, an openly gay genderqueer who has recently begun to dress less gender conforming than before and has seen an exponential rise of both fatphobic and homophobic comments on their videos because of it. or other artists like lil nas x who received death threats due to the rampant homophobia in the rap industry. so harry thinking of himself as any type of underdog when he is a publicity non-queer white male millionaire artist who wears nail polish sometimes is so absolutely absurd that itās not even funny
had to go find that billy porter interview bc he was so right abt this

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Leave no online footprint of searches or purchases. Digital Defense Fundās abortion privacy guide is your go-to resource for this. Using private browsers, two-factor authentication, encrypted messaging, strong passwords, etc. is critical. Google searches have been presented as evidence in an SMA trial before. Do not leave a digital trail.
Use the medications properly to prevent interactions with healthcare providers. The pills are very effective, but they have to be used right. Carefully follow the instructions provided on the How to Use Abortion Pill website. Note that misoprostol tablets should always be taken by dissolving them under the tongue. Do NOT insert misoprostol vaginally if you are self-managing an abortion. While this is medically safe, it can leave incriminating pill remnants that can be detected in the vagina during a pelvic exam if you end up needing to seek medical care.Ā
If itās not an emergency but you need expert health advice, use a free calling service like Google Voice to call or text the Miscarriage + Abortion Hotline at 1-833-246-2632. Medical complications are very uncommon with abortion pills, but theyāre not impossible. The M+A Hotline is safe to use and is staffed by trustworthy clinicians who volunteer their time to help those who choose SMA. Do not use your own phone number to call as this will create a record that is visible to your cell service provider.Ā
Donāt disclose any information about SMA to emergency room staff if you do need to seek medical care. This is how most people who are arrested for SMA are reported. Healthcare providers are almost always who calls the police in cases of SMA criminalization. Contrary to popular belief, HIPAA does not protect your private health information from being shared with police if you are suspected of doing something that could be considered a crime. If you believe you need to seek urgent medical care, do not hesitate to go. Say āI think Iām having a miscarriageā and provide your symptoms. Do not mention any use of or purchase of abortion pills. There is no widely available test to detect misoprostol in your bloodstream. If you do not disclose it, there is no way for a medical provider to tell the difference between a medication abortion and a spontaneous miscarriage.
Do not talk to the cops. Period. Do. Not. Talk. To. The. Cops. If you are questioned by police you should state, āI am exercising my right to remain silent, and I wish to speak with an attorney.ā Do not speak again or nod in response to a question. Contact the Repro Legal Helpline as soon as possible for expert legal advice: 1-844-868-2812. Do not agree to questioning or speak to any law enforcement official without a lawyer present.
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