β‘PERSONALITY DISORDERS: What the heck is supply?!β‘
If youβre persodivergent or know someone else whoβs persodivergent, Iβm sure youβve heard the term supply before, and you likely have a pretty good understanding of it based on the way it circulates in the community. However, I havenβt been able to find a good resource that accurately describes what supply looks like overall. Sure, thereβs plenty of resources for specific pd supply sources, especially the more βpopularβ pds, but what is supply at its core?
Supply is something that makes a persodivergent individual feel good about themselves to a degree that persotypicals have a hard time grasping. Itβs something that gives feelings like euphoria, energy, etc. Supply fuels them, makes them feel good and like theyβre able to function normally. When someone is low on supply they may get snappy, nervous, low on energy, etc. Supply can sometimes even be powerful enough to break splitting! Itβs like a battery for persodivergent people, when your supply battery runs low your disorder will start acting up in negative ways. This is why itβs important to surround yourself with people willing to give you what you need without sacrificing anything by doing so. Otherwise, youβll both be miserable, and thatβd suck. Not all persodivergent individuals have this supply battery, of course, but for those that do itβs important to them to have this battery be filled every once in a while. Itβs always best to ask what is most helpful for these individuals when their supply is running low, however, as every persodivergent individual is different.
Personality disorders tend to develop due to emotional neglect in certain areas, meaning that those with persodivergence will be particularly excited when they arenβt being neglected in that same way. As stated in this post by @thatnarcissisticfeel, when an individual is constantly faced with being ignored or getting negative feedback as a child and their natural coping mechanism is that everyone else is wrong and that theyβre better than everyone, they may end up with NPD. Therefore, giving a pwNPD positive feedback and making sure not to ignore them and to include them in things can be supply for them, as thatβs actively going against the neglect they went through that caused the personality disorder in the first place. Of course, compliments and telling them theyβre the best could also feed into this supply battery, as that proves their coping mechanism of being the best correct. However, if itβs suspected to be disingenuous, that can have the opposite effect.Β
Certain disorders, such as ASPD, SZPD, PPD, and STPD are less likely to have a supply battery due to the fact the coping mechanism is detaching themselves from the need for what they were neglected with. This does not make it impossible for supply to exist for these disorders, but there tends to be less of a need for outside validation due to the nature of these disorders. Itβs best to ask if thereβs anything you can do for these individuals, as it's a lot more subjective and uncertain when it comes to them.Β
Supply for a handful of other disorders include:
β§ Giving your full attention to someone with HPD when they talk about their interests and engaging to show youβre actually listening.
β§ Applauding someone with OCPD for doing so well on a test or other project, especially if you engage and say what exactly you loved about it.
β§ Assurance and actions to prove to a pwBPD that you wonβt leave and that you enjoy being in their presence. Reaching out to a pwBPD first can give supply, too.
β§ Checking in on someone with AVPD when you suspect theyβre isolating and letting them know you appreciate them and that nobody hates them for just existing.
β§ Helping someone with DPD to make decisions and talking them through it logically so you arenβt just telling them what to do but also helping them think about it without making them decide completely alone.
Some general supply ideas include:
β§ Asking specific questions about interest(s)
β§ Remembering little details
β§ Celebrating meeting goals (anything from just acknowledgement to maybe even a party if a bigger thing like a job promotion)
Supply Resources + the general supply ideas taken from @a-jagged-nightmare. The resources are mostly npd based. Unfortunately not a lot of resources out there for other pds
Supply, NPD specifically (linked above in my npd example)
Self Supply Tips, NPD & HPD focused by @narcissism-positivity
NPD, Asexuality, Hypersexuality, and Supply by @narc-rants
NPD Supply Ideas by @clusterrune
Supply Person (SUP):A SUP is someone the persodivergent individual can obtain supply from of any kind.
β§Tagging for PD posts: @kpopwerewolf @radiomogaiβ§
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