Cats, Reading & Fandoms

“What do you think?” God asked as we passed a nineteen-way taking place in a pool of champagne. Little cherubs flitted overhead armed with mops and cleaning supplies, thankfully. “Lust is our most popular sin.” I eyed the supermodel-like figures of a couple passing nearby, and could easily see why. “You can look however you want. Hell, you can be whatever gender you want. No fetish is too taboo, and no desire can be denied here.”

It was quite tempting, but I wasn’t ready to make a permanent decision here. “Let’s see the others,” I told God.

We carried on to Greed. We passed rows and rows of mansions, each more opulent than the next. Some of them were so large that they would have had enough bed rooms to fit my entire hometown. And so many different styles: one second, we were in a beautiful French vineyard in front of a gorgeous chateau with the Alps in the background. The next second, a warm tropical beach with a modern mansion atop breathtaking cliffs. After that, a ski chalet in Colorado with a roaring fire in a hearth large enough to fit an ox. Each one had various Italian sports cars and Rolls Royces parked in front, with the occasional smattering of boats, helicopters, etc.

“Any material desire you ever wanted,” God explained. “Your own world, where you can have everything. You want the Hope Diamond? You can fly to Washington DC in your own solid gold helicopter and buy it from the Smithsonian. Hell, you can just buy the Smithsonian.”

Also tempting, but I decided to keep looking.

Gluttony was next up. Tables and tables of the very finest foods: beautiful steaks cooked medium rare; butter-poached lobster tail; fresh oysters on a half shell; exotic wines in dusty bottles that had been hiding in the cellars of the world’s finest restaurants. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand and simply lounged on couches and chairs near the tables, eating endlessly. As soon as the inhabitants took a bite, the food just instantly came back. My mouth watered even watching them.

“In every other House, the food is practically sawdust compared to Gluttony,” God explained. “You haven’t truly experienced heaven until you’ve been to Gluttony.”

I shook my head, and we kept moving.

Sloth was as you’d expect. An endless sea of the softest mattresses, stacked with cushions and pillows that made the story of the princess and the pea seem minimalist. Little angels visited each resident, giving them massages that made them all melt into their blankets.

Wrath was… well, a lot like what I’d expect Hell to be like. Fire, brimstone, whips, torture.. you know, the works. Except here, you weren’t the one being tortured. Every enemy you’d ever made in your real life was now under your thumb. “Lots of people choose their fathers,” God explained. “Lots of grudges against parents in general, you know. But you’re not limited to that. Someone beat you out for a big promotion back on Earth? Take your pound of flesh here.”

Then we arrived at Envy. It looked… well, a lot like home.

“Go on in,” God said, gesturing toward the door. I turned the knob and walked in… and found Emily waiting inside. She ran forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and planted a kiss right on my lips. “Welcome home, honey.”

I looked back toward God. “Oh, don’t be coy,” he said. “You have no secrets from me. We all know that you were in love with your best friend’s wife.” She didn’t seem to hear him at all; she went back into the hall. “We all know that you just settled for your own wife while secretly pining after her. Well, this is your chance to live happily ever after.”

I peered into the kitchen. Emily was baking something, wearing nothing but an apron. Her curly black hair fell softly over her shoulder as she whisked ingredients. She turned back, noticed I was observing her, and an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” God whispered in my ear.

I wanted to take it. God damn did I want to take it. But I shook my head.

God seemed puzzled. “You need to make a decision,” he told me.

“I haven’t seen Pride yet.”

He scoffed. “No one ever wants Pride, trust me.”

“Well, I want to see it.”

_________________________

Pride was boring. Just a row of workbenches in a bare white room.

“I don’t get it,” I told God.

“Yeah, no one does,” he answered. “That’s why no one ever chooses it. Doesn’t cavorting in Lust sound better than sitting here building little trinkets for the rest of eternity? Wouldn’t you rather gorge yourself in Gluttony? Or spend time with Emily in Envy?”

I considered the options again. “I pick Pride,” I finally told him.

He narrowed his eyes. “What? Look at it!” He gestured around the room again. There wasn’t much to look at. “Why would you choose this for the rest of time?”

“Because you don’t want me to pick it,” I told him. If he was really God, he’d know what a contrarian I can be. And I knew he was hiding something, trying to pretend like Pride didn’t exist. There was something special about it.

She’s the sun, he’s the moon.

He has this otherworldly kind of beauty about him while I feel like David Boreanaz kinda has more of a boyband look and a face that knows what a smartphone is? Is it just me?

Have we forgotten the ancient texts? Spike making biscuits while Buffy feeds him in Giles' bathtub, Spike pushing a beaker of the counter just to watch it smash to the ground. Also his early s5 arc, once he's finally aware of his feelings for Buffy but doesn't know how to approach her, is just him continuously bringing her dead mice and wondering why she doesn't appreciate them. And Buffy just seems like someone who thinks of herself as a dog-person but accidentally starts feeding the stray cats in her neighborhood so they all flock to her (the stray cats being Spike and Faith obviously).

the fact that what he loves about her -- her kindness and strength, her goodness as the slayer and commitment to helping the innocent -- is what makes her good is so telling of who spike really is at his core.

he's in love with her because she's not evil -- because of this great love and compassion she has for everyone.

he loves her for being human.

and i think that the fact that a soulless spike (still in the depths of his evilness in s2) could and would fall in love with these characteristics shows what he truly admires in a person, especially someone he would give his heart to.

this is NOT because of blocking screenshots, it's because of HOW streaming sites use your computer's hardware to optimise performance, which means the thing rendering the video and the thing capturing your screen aren't the SAME thing. so they can't talk together.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful (yes, the song is about Spike's eyes and Buffy grieving him)

Kiss with a Fist (season 6)

The Bomb (someone in the Spuffy tag already talked about this)

Buckle (Spike's perspective on the Spuffy relationship from season 5 to 7)

You've got the Love (Buffy's perspective of the Spuffy relationship in season 6 and 7)

Shake it out (Buffy season 7)

Which Witch (Mainly vibes but it just reminds me of the balcony scene from season 6)

Never let me go (Spike, season 7, especially when he's insane)

Everybody scream (season 6)

Cosmic Love (Spike, season 5 onwards)

Ship to wreck (I can't even say whose perspective when it is, it's just there)

Sympathy Magic (Buffy post resurrection)

Free (Buffy, season 5)

No light, no light (both season 6 and post season 7. I don't accept questions on this one as I can't explain)

Delilah (Sprucilla, specially "Lover's walk" as Spike is still hung up on Dru but aware of his connection to Buffy)

Witch Dance (season 6, Smashed and onwards)

Breath of Life (full Spuffy, "Something Blue" but also seasons 6 and 7)

Dream Girl Evil (Buffy's assumptions in season 6)

Hunger (Your honor, it's them. They are both so desperate for love. Start to finish)

Howl (listen to the song. Tell me it's not them. It's them)

What kind of man (Bangel. Bangel Hate to be specific)

Heavy in your arms (season 6)

Choreomania (it just screams "once more with feeling")

Kraken (Spike pre soul, kinda giving "Seeing Red" and also "Fool for Love")

Rabbit Heart (raise it up) (season 7 and season 5. Also season 2. Don't question me)

Sky full of song (Ats season 5)

All this and Heaven too (Spike, from "Fool for Love" onwards)

Light of Love (Buffy's season 6 healing arc, Spike freshly ensouled)

Hardest of Hearts (Spike about Buffy)

Like seasons 4 and 5 he was mostly a raging, whiney freak who occasionally did creepy, childish, invasive things and eventually he was forced by circumstance to grow up and take control of his soulless existence instead of blaming everything on it and excusing himself from any responsibility for his actions.

He was willing to sacrifice himself to protect Buffy and Dawn, he literally fell off a 100 foot crane putting his body on the line for them, he dedicated his days post-Buffy to keeping an eye on Sunnydale and keeping Dawn safe because besides Willow (who wouldn’t be any good in a physical fight anyways) he was the only one who meaningfully could. He took Joyce’s “I love what you’ve neglected to do with the place” to heart and actually put effort into remodeling his dark, dank pit in the ground into something attractive and comfortable, expecting to have guests over—HUMAN (and demons like Clem I suppose) GUESTS. He spent the nights awake after Buffy’s death sitting with regret for things he could have done differently—could have done better—to save her. He changed so much because loving Buffy was transformative, even when she was dead and gone.

He would love to show her around his place some more, go on a walk, have a drink—he even implies as much when he sadly watches her go and says, “So I take it you’re not staying, then?”

But even more so, Buffy goes to him knowing full well that SHE could sing in front of him. And maybe this could be read as “well she didn’t have any feelings for him so she would have no reason to be nervous or embarrassed” but I take it as she was alone with the only person who would understand whatever song she sung. Hell, she was walking around the graveyard the night before when she was singing by herself (and with random vampires) and she was still a little ashamed about it even without witnesses or singing anything particularly cringe. And my point is only proven correct when, in the end, it is Spike who comes to her rescue in the final act—stopping her from dancing herself to death and telling her exactly what she needs to hear, the very thesis of Season 6, “Life isn’t bliss, life is just this, it’s living. You have to go on living.”

They could have very easily made it a Xander “heart of the group” moment, or a Dawn and Buffy sister moment, or even a fatherly Giles moment—but it was Spike and Buffy because narratively, he was the only one who was actually seeing her and hearing her. It wasn’t a hamfisted attempt to cram Spike into a scene he didn’t belong in like some people imply, it’s actually the only option that makes any sense.

I actually love how this turned out ♥️🔥❤️‍🔥

I feel like Cinna would totally give her a high neckline for this dress! I really liked drawing the candlelight one so I might do her Mockingjay one next hmm.. The fire one turned out so prettyyyy